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4/8/2014 c1 Kalani
It was an absolutely captivating chapter! The disappearance of Hunter's body is what is compelling me to read on. Do we ever get to find out whether the body is found or not?

However, in my opinion, one thing that really bothered me was that in the flashback, both Sophie and Victoria knew that the other driver was drunk. To me, it wasn't very really realistic seeing as how both drivers in the accident seemed to be incapacitated so how would these girls know one of the drivers was drunk? You could probably change the wording and say "one of the drivers was probably drunk". Or you could mention in the narration how Vic now knows the driver was drunk but I wouldn't suggest keeping it in the dialogue.

Other than that, great work and good luck with your story!
5/27/2011 c15 15MidnightFox
I don`t know if I already wrote a review for this chapter but I re-read it since I had some tim e and I need to finish reading this amazing story. I would have logged in but I am on my ereader so it is more difficult XD
5/27/2011 c16 MidnightFox
I finally sat down and read this chapter ;) There were a few mistakes but it was really funny and suspenseful. "This isn`t Burger King but we`ll have it your way." I laughed so hard!
5/27/2011 c16 MidnightFox
I finally sat down and read this chapter ;) There were a few mistakes but it was really funny and suspenseful. "This isn`t Burger King but we`ll have it your way." I laughed so hard!
5/26/2011 c15 MidnightFox
I don`t know if I already wrote a review for this chapter but I re-read it since I had some tim e and I need to finish reading this amazing story. I would have logged in but I am on my ereader so it is more difficult XD
4/24/2011 c15 MidnightFox
Yay, finally read this chapter. I noticed three mistakes that I'll point out for ya. One is you said "unbelief" instead of "disbelief" and at one point, you put "nick" instead of "Nick" and "hunter" instead of "Hunter". :) Good chapter, and very entertaining with the dialogue. I like Vic's part, and I hope to hear more about how the wounds affect her.
4/9/2011 c14 MidnightFox
The very end was suspenseful when he was describing the woman who really did seem like Vic, but the other parts at the end seemed a bit rushed. Also, the whole "So he told her his story" is like a shortcut I've noticed in books. Sometimes it's okay, but with his character, I would've just shortened it down to the important details. There were more typos than usual in this chapter so I'm assuming you were tired, but don't worry cause' they're not that bad and you don't really notice all of them. The only ones you notice are the ones where the sentence doesn't make sense because they're there. Luci's character was a bit confusing and seemed somewhat underdeveloped because she gave in so easily and willingly but that could all be a part of her character and her fear of what's happening to her. Yay I finally read chapter 14 and now because of the very end, I can't wait to move on. :)
4/6/2011 c13 MidnightFox
Wow so suspenseful with the man in her house and the dialogue was awesome between them. I loved the detail when she killed him as well. :) Also, oh my gosh, finally someone who prayed to God and got an answer in return LOL.
4/6/2011 c12 MidnightFox
The end was a bit boring and rushed but the beginning was really high energy, talking about how she planned to go and track down the scientists no matter what Hunter said. :)
4/5/2011 c10 MidnightFox
I think Tori would do well as a Lioness. :) It suits her, haha. Very suspenseful ending! She's probably just getting a glass of water or something LOL That'd be hilarious. I just have to read and find out. ^^
4/5/2011 c9 MidnightFox
The end of this chapter made me smile :) My gosh, when I finish every review for this story, you're going to have over 30 of them. I'm just awesome like that. I like the argument in here about going to her sister's house and how they're starting to get a bit irritated with each other. Being on the run from scientists is bound to cause tension between them. When you skipped straight to that Thursday, I was a little disappointed because he just kind of gave in because of how impossible she was being. If I were him with the whole situation, I'd have just gone there anyways since they were already disagreeing on things. The chapter developed very nicely though and now I'm onto the next one. :) That was funny because I just listened to a song called Onto the next one.
4/5/2011 c8 MidnightFox
That one took me 7 minutes to read! :) I can't wait to see what happens with the scientists. When he said they could kill him, my first thought was "Well you could kill them faster". Lol. I'm sure he doesn't want to kill again though, even in self defense. Rawr, the wolf thing will take a little while to get used to. I'm kind of surprised Vic accepted him so quickly, but I do love how easy it is for them to talk to each other and how they can joke around like the whole "Did you always ask so many questions?" thing. It gave me a laugh. ^^
4/5/2011 c7 MidnightFox
Ha, so suspenseful. I love the whole genetically enhanced thing. Rawr, I knew there'd be some type of wolf part to it. Oh well, at least it's not full on werewolf. I really did like this chapter and it seems like you put a lot of thought into it. It took me 10 or 11 minutes to read XD The description of what happened to him and stuff was pretty vivid but when it came to his escape, it seemed more rushed and it doesn't seem like someone would really describe it that way, but heck, I've never had someone explain something like that to me, so I wouldn't know. I still like how you set it up though so you don't have to worry about it. If someone were telling me that though, I'd interrupt them constantly, which I'm sure Tori probably wanted to do really badly. Haha. :) Onto chapter 8!
4/5/2011 c6 MidnightFox
AHH So suspenseful with each time. Then the ending! Rawr, I'd have so many thoughts bouncing around in my head.

I like how you set up Sophie's and Vic's arguments. It reminds me of how good friends can make up really quickly. It made me remember fights I've had with my best friend and how after like two minutes, we were forgiving each other and getting on with our lives. :) Onto chapter 7 to find out what happens!
4/5/2011 c5 MidnightFox
Haha, the whole swearing thing was funny. Also, the suspense with the man at her house. It was kind of all jumbled because they were fighting but fight scenes are hard to describe. Also, Ohemgee Boy Meets World! I know I'd be happy to stay up all night with a friend to watch something good. Oh and Edward Cullen is a pansy. I'm hoping there are no werewolves in this either...*shivers* The ending made me wonder...Anyways, not many typos in this chapter either. I like how the dialogue doesn't seem forced either. It just flows naturally.
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