for Travel Log7/22/2010 c1 
1xenolith
Write more of this. It is wonderful.
I wish I could leave my review right there, because it says it all, but that's not fair! So.
What I liked: It felt like a story, and half the pleasure for me while reading this was the 'biography' tag. This is real. This is a person. This is life. I liked the first part more because it started out in a great intro to a memoir type way, it was clear and helpful and surprisingly poignant.
Things I noticed: a couple sentences there could be spruced up for better effect. Example, 'It is(,) as they say(,) where life began' - I'm not sure if commas should break it up, but I feel like it would sound better like that anyway. Also, 'I actually prefer trains over planes when possible(,) despite the increase in transit time' - maybe another one there as well?
More thoughts: Gosh, I loved this, 'The final skill of a traveler is adaptability'. I don't know if it's because I've dreamed of travelling so much for so long, or it's just something about the novelty of a piece like this on FP, but I love it. You know, if you kept going like this and add in more thoughts it would be even awesome-er. I enjoyed the whimsical musings on the ocean, the thing about planes and looking out the windows. If you slid in some literary stuff it would be great too.
Either way, this is golden :)
1xenolithWrite more of this. It is wonderful.
I wish I could leave my review right there, because it says it all, but that's not fair! So.
What I liked: It felt like a story, and half the pleasure for me while reading this was the 'biography' tag. This is real. This is a person. This is life. I liked the first part more because it started out in a great intro to a memoir type way, it was clear and helpful and surprisingly poignant.
Things I noticed: a couple sentences there could be spruced up for better effect. Example, 'It is(,) as they say(,) where life began' - I'm not sure if commas should break it up, but I feel like it would sound better like that anyway. Also, 'I actually prefer trains over planes when possible(,) despite the increase in transit time' - maybe another one there as well?
More thoughts: Gosh, I loved this, 'The final skill of a traveler is adaptability'. I don't know if it's because I've dreamed of travelling so much for so long, or it's just something about the novelty of a piece like this on FP, but I love it. You know, if you kept going like this and add in more thoughts it would be even awesome-er. I enjoyed the whimsical musings on the ocean, the thing about planes and looking out the windows. If you slid in some literary stuff it would be great too.
Either way, this is golden :)