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for Intoxicating Rapture

7/18/2010 c1 Vinz
Alo!

I don't normally read this kinds of stories. It is very explicite but you have a way with description. Your caracteres seem very real which is hard to achieve (good job). One part was too formal in my opinion:

"I'd be lying if I said he wasn't dramatic about everything whether or not he was under the influence of drugs."

'under the influence of drugs' - just say 'high'. then it would not sound so strange for a teenager to say. I have never heard the name 'Kade' it is unique. I like it.

Good work!

-Vincent
7/18/2010 c1 3WishmiesterBeta
My name is Kade, which made it a teeny bit awkward to read this but that doesn't really matter. This was really good in the dialogue and detail and in addition I have a thing for alcoholics/junkies/stoners etc in stories so you get extra props for that.

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