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4/16/2014 c1 allancaldera
Sweet and cute.
8/3/2010 c1 4InkedSoul
Haha, aww that was a cute story. You seemed to say so much in such a few words and it's as if the story is still on going because you made such a vague ending.

I love both of the character's personalities, even though the story was short we were able to grasp their behaviour through their exchanged dialogue and actions. Some people can't even manage to capture that in three chapters let alone one short one!

I admire your writing style. It's a bit rough and not something most people would expect to read, it's new and creative without any boring info dump. You seem to balance out the description and dialogue very well so congrats for that. I absolutely loved the ending, it was humorous and an odd but nice way to wrap up the story. Good job with this one shot! (:

~Idareutoguess
7/26/2010 c1 2Rock on an Ocean Shore
Lol, how cute. I loved this. :)
7/26/2010 c1 20diwu6398
LOL i loved that! =) I think you spelled brunette wrong, but who cares? I loved it. I can't wait to read more (unless you plan to stop?) I love your writing style.
7/24/2010 c1 9Air Rey
Wow! This is good in so many ways. One, the story is short yet it says a lot. For me, a good prose requires conciseness and depth and you managed to do that. It's ambiguous, yet direct to the point.

You also have good characterization. You don't make your reader omnipotent. You allowed your reader to think and interpret emotions. For that, you made the reading experience a great adventure.

I just don't like how you introduce the speaker of the quotes. It's a bit confusing. Then again, that may be part of your intention or the experience. This is a good piece of story. You'll be one of my favorites.

(P.S. I hope you review my prose as well. I need feedback since I will be doing revisions soon. Thanks.)

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