for Twisted Logic8/4/2010 c5 
99Dreamers-Requiem
Personally, I think this may be my favourite poem. It flows really well, and I like how it starts off still wanting that guy but ends up with the realisation that it's better without him. The way it moves through the emotions is really effective. Great poem. I can't believe this doesn't have more reviews.
99Dreamers-RequiemPersonally, I think this may be my favourite poem. It flows really well, and I like how it starts off still wanting that guy but ends up with the realisation that it's better without him. The way it moves through the emotions is really effective. Great poem. I can't believe this doesn't have more reviews.
8/3/2010 c4 Dreamers-Requiem
It's weird when you read things like this that hit really close to home.
A great poem, one that I can really relate to. It summed things up well, and the feeling is strong throughout it. Nice work.
It's weird when you read things like this that hit really close to home.
A great poem, one that I can really relate to. It summed things up well, and the feeling is strong throughout it. Nice work.
7/31/2010 c3 Dreamers-Requiem
Great opening. It really draws you in! I especially liked the line
'Why does love have to be the
most confusing aspect of life?'
The parts in italics worked really well, too, and the last line kind of feels wistful and hopeful.
Great opening. It really draws you in! I especially liked the line
'Why does love have to be the
most confusing aspect of life?'
The parts in italics worked really well, too, and the last line kind of feels wistful and hopeful.
7/30/2010 c2 Dreamers-Requiem
I like how you used the different font effects for certain parts; the repition of 'Mind breaking' was a good way of drawing the reader back to the sort of thing that is going on. Nice work with that. Overall, a powerful poem.
I like how you used the different font effects for certain parts; the repition of 'Mind breaking' was a good way of drawing the reader back to the sort of thing that is going on. Nice work with that. Overall, a powerful poem.
7/28/2010 c1 Dreamers-Requiem
A really lovely poem; the ending is strong, and throughout you can really feel the speaker's emotions and the pain she (?) is going through, nice work.
A really lovely poem; the ending is strong, and throughout you can really feel the speaker's emotions and the pain she (?) is going through, nice work.
7/27/2010 c4 9Narq
I really loved the end, I was just a puppet. It was really powerful and was what stood out for me in this piece.
the title. 'thank you for hte heartbreak' was good, because it hinted at much.
9NarqI really loved the end, I was just a puppet. It was really powerful and was what stood out for me in this piece.
the title. 'thank you for hte heartbreak' was good, because it hinted at much.
7/27/2010 c3 Narq
If laughter makes you live longer
than you and I are going to be
living forever
- lovely! I loved this so much! wonderful!
But at the end, it was kinda scary, the "your heart I want to be mine" it was kinda possessive.
If laughter makes you live longer
than you and I are going to be
living forever
- lovely! I loved this so much! wonderful!
But at the end, it was kinda scary, the "your heart I want to be mine" it was kinda possessive.
7/27/2010 c2 Narq
I really loved the bolded lines, but I didn't like the way the "mind breaking" kept on repeating. It weaked it a bit.
Otherwise, everything was really powerful!
I really loved the bolded lines, but I didn't like the way the "mind breaking" kept on repeating. It weaked it a bit.
Otherwise, everything was really powerful!
7/27/2010 c1 Narq
Out of this, the phrase with most impact was: "For my sake, please/survive"
overall, a good weight emottion packed poem!
Out of this, the phrase with most impact was: "For my sake, please/survive"
overall, a good weight emottion packed poem!
7/27/2010 c1 Old xRayneWolfx account
Ahh at last Ms.Cross has joined the side of poems on fictionpress ;) I'm glad to see these poems on here instead of live journal. Girl keep it up, spread the raw of emotions we girls go through in every day life and never EVER! give up =) Can't wait for more poems soon.
~Rayne~
Ps: Don't worry about repaying me back for reviewing you. ^-^ Just keep writing.
Ahh at last Ms.Cross has joined the side of poems on fictionpress ;) I'm glad to see these poems on here instead of live journal. Girl keep it up, spread the raw of emotions we girls go through in every day life and never EVER! give up =) Can't wait for more poems soon.
~Rayne~
Ps: Don't worry about repaying me back for reviewing you. ^-^ Just keep writing.
7/27/2010 c1 1esthaelum
I like this poem. It had that tragic and sad air about it... It's like the girl is so in love with this boy and she's worried about him, but he keeps pushing her away... *sniff*. I wonder what's wrong with the boy... He seems really bitter and stuff. Anyway, nice poem!
1esthaelumI like this poem. It had that tragic and sad air about it... It's like the girl is so in love with this boy and she's worried about him, but he keeps pushing her away... *sniff*. I wonder what's wrong with the boy... He seems really bitter and stuff. Anyway, nice poem!
7/27/2010 c5 29YasuRan
Loved each and every one of these poems. Offering a snippet of the narrator's thoughts and leaving a lasting impression at the end of each. You sure deserve more reviews than this.
Please keep up the good work!
29YasuRanLoved each and every one of these poems. Offering a snippet of the narrator's thoughts and leaving a lasting impression at the end of each. You sure deserve more reviews than this.
Please keep up the good work!
7/27/2010 c1 v-n-ll-y
I sensed a lot of emotion in this piece. I think the way you use words is wonderful. The speaker's soul being 'crushed' is quite a powerful expression, I think it works very nicely. I also like how you used some dialogue in here, it's nice when it flows in a poem. Towards the end there's also a glimmer of hope for this person the poet is speaking to. Nice poetry you've got here :)
I sensed a lot of emotion in this piece. I think the way you use words is wonderful. The speaker's soul being 'crushed' is quite a powerful expression, I think it works very nicely. I also like how you used some dialogue in here, it's nice when it flows in a poem. Towards the end there's also a glimmer of hope for this person the poet is speaking to. Nice poetry you've got here :)
7/26/2010 c1 11Naomi Chick
This was emotional piece. It show the compassion to help a friend losing their hope. No matter, the efforts placed into the situation from the kind friend. It's hard to understand another person sadness.
The ending was truthful as the narrator doesn't want the person to give up.
11Naomi ChickThis was emotional piece. It show the compassion to help a friend losing their hope. No matter, the efforts placed into the situation from the kind friend. It's hard to understand another person sadness.
The ending was truthful as the narrator doesn't want the person to give up.