
8/1/2011 c1
5Luridpretty
I love this. It's darkly beautiful, with vivid, chilling imagery. It interests me that this is in "family"; it really makes me wonder what it could be about, and my mind comes up with so many explanations. My favorite lines are "but my savior shows no sympathy to the/sheep who skinned the lamb". Beautiful work.

I love this. It's darkly beautiful, with vivid, chilling imagery. It interests me that this is in "family"; it really makes me wonder what it could be about, and my mind comes up with so many explanations. My favorite lines are "but my savior shows no sympathy to the/sheep who skinned the lamb". Beautiful work.
6/29/2011 c1
8writemystorywithoutink
I wish I knew what this was all about. The use of alliteration is great, though; the poem really hisses as it goes along. "But my savior shows no sympathy to the sheep who skinned the lamb" has me feeling like I'm missing the whole point of the poem. It comes off as very profound, and I haven't been able to figure out what it may be an allusion to.

I wish I knew what this was all about. The use of alliteration is great, though; the poem really hisses as it goes along. "But my savior shows no sympathy to the sheep who skinned the lamb" has me feeling like I'm missing the whole point of the poem. It comes off as very profound, and I haven't been able to figure out what it may be an allusion to.
8/5/2010 c1
2Jordanala
Amazing. The word variation is astounding and fills the lines with a sense of excitement. They words file out into sickening phrases, dripping with hatred. The contrast of the last two lines and the rest of the story is marvelous.

Amazing. The word variation is astounding and fills the lines with a sense of excitement. They words file out into sickening phrases, dripping with hatred. The contrast of the last two lines and the rest of the story is marvelous.
7/28/2010 c1
29YasuRan
'I sense a sour apparition on the rise,
and my scorned heart sinks at the thought.'
I liked the latter bit a lot. Nice play on irony.
'But my savior shows no sympathy to the
sheep who skinned the lamb.'
Perfect for tying the whole story in.
Noticed your pen-name change. Beibermania struck you too? ;)

'I sense a sour apparition on the rise,
and my scorned heart sinks at the thought.'
I liked the latter bit a lot. Nice play on irony.
'But my savior shows no sympathy to the
sheep who skinned the lamb.'
Perfect for tying the whole story in.
Noticed your pen-name change. Beibermania struck you too? ;)
7/28/2010 c1
21kunoichi-socks
I loved this, every single word you used was perfect and vivid. Excellent poem.
- Kat

I loved this, every single word you used was perfect and vivid. Excellent poem.
- Kat