for The Pirate's Legacy: New Beginnings11/25/2013 c16 Mak
I imagine Roger won't be too happy to see her in his coat... or maybe he will be.
Aw she's being quite mean to Michael... he can't help it he thinks he's in love with her.
Maybe with time she could come to love Michael. She doesn't know.
He'll not admit she's a princess anymore but instead she'll be the queen. :)
And it's quite unfortunate that the sea is forever in him.
I imagine Roger won't be too happy to see her in his coat... or maybe he will be.
Aw she's being quite mean to Michael... he can't help it he thinks he's in love with her.
Maybe with time she could come to love Michael. She doesn't know.
He'll not admit she's a princess anymore but instead she'll be the queen. :)
And it's quite unfortunate that the sea is forever in him.
11/24/2013 c15 Mak
"With one last worried at Em's figure making her way up the mizzen mast..." - Last look
Oh Roger, always saving his damsel.
Mermaids... such interesting creatures.
Roger...jealous of Michael because he knows it's wrong too. :)
Poor Michael.
"With one last worried at Em's figure making her way up the mizzen mast..." - Last look
Oh Roger, always saving his damsel.
Mermaids... such interesting creatures.
Roger...jealous of Michael because he knows it's wrong too. :)
Poor Michael.
11/24/2013 c14 Mak
"Here me out, mate!" the wild-eyed young man said." - Hear?
Ah the bad feelings begin. :) Thanks, mom. haha
And Roger's seeing things too... how fun!
"Here me out, mate!" the wild-eyed young man said." - Hear?
Ah the bad feelings begin. :) Thanks, mom. haha
And Roger's seeing things too... how fun!
11/24/2013 c13 Mak
"Her gut felt a tight as a taught rope." - missing an 'as' in there.
I'm glad we explore why she's so uncomfortable with Roger. It's not just that he's scary, it's also that he's a man. And I like that in the last chapter or so, Roger also noticed that she was young.
"The cutlass on at the end of her extended arm grew heavy." - an extra word in there.
Hah. Roger's not entirely unaffected himself!
"The girl's fear of him restrained on her abilities." - don't really need the on.
But Roger didn't kill the last Pirate Queen... how'd he get the title?
Tricky pirate... :)
"Her gut felt a tight as a taught rope." - missing an 'as' in there.
I'm glad we explore why she's so uncomfortable with Roger. It's not just that he's scary, it's also that he's a man. And I like that in the last chapter or so, Roger also noticed that she was young.
"The cutlass on at the end of her extended arm grew heavy." - an extra word in there.
Hah. Roger's not entirely unaffected himself!
"The girl's fear of him restrained on her abilities." - don't really need the on.
But Roger didn't kill the last Pirate Queen... how'd he get the title?
Tricky pirate... :)
11/24/2013 c12 Mak
"There was a tense space of three breaths where Roger grudgingly concede Michael's point..." - Shouldn't that be conceded?
"Nothingabout me to be afraid of?" - missing space... silly sabotaging fictionpress
Ah so Roger had thought about her chest before. ;)
"Em surreptitiously watched as the daytime prostitutes flitting around with lilting smiles and swaying hips." - need to take out the 'as'
"Em watched that card players settle into a game at a table..." - the card players
"Oh, I ain't askin' for yer money, dear. I thought he wanted me comp'ny." - Should that be ye instead of he?
Glad she's taking up her mother's mission.
"There was a tense space of three breaths where Roger grudgingly concede Michael's point..." - Shouldn't that be conceded?
"Nothingabout me to be afraid of?" - missing space... silly sabotaging fictionpress
Ah so Roger had thought about her chest before. ;)
"Em surreptitiously watched as the daytime prostitutes flitting around with lilting smiles and swaying hips." - need to take out the 'as'
"Em watched that card players settle into a game at a table..." - the card players
"Oh, I ain't askin' for yer money, dear. I thought he wanted me comp'ny." - Should that be ye instead of he?
Glad she's taking up her mother's mission.
11/24/2013 c11 Mak
"Only in the direst of situations, such as the fall of the coasts, would lead the inhabitants to flee inland." - sound like foreshadowing to me. :)
Ah... I miss Malva Dame...
Ha... beat him up, Em.
"H faced Em with his dominant right side toward her and his free hand held aloft." - missing the e in he
"By this time, Michael had forgotten about his anger toward his captain after realizing that he hadn't been forbidden to stay away from Em." - this doesn't make sense... it's more of he hadn't been told to stay away from Em. He wasn't forbidden from seeing her would make more sense... I guess I still get the point of the statement, though.
Hah! Take that Michael... poor Michael. It still just creeps me out though.
"Only in the direst of situations, such as the fall of the coasts, would lead the inhabitants to flee inland." - sound like foreshadowing to me. :)
Ah... I miss Malva Dame...
Ha... beat him up, Em.
"H faced Em with his dominant right side toward her and his free hand held aloft." - missing the e in he
"By this time, Michael had forgotten about his anger toward his captain after realizing that he hadn't been forbidden to stay away from Em." - this doesn't make sense... it's more of he hadn't been told to stay away from Em. He wasn't forbidden from seeing her would make more sense... I guess I still get the point of the statement, though.
Hah! Take that Michael... poor Michael. It still just creeps me out though.
11/23/2013 c10 Mak
Roger killing Annalyn, is this a prediction?
Or is it foresight into a creature that might attack them... Roger is going to save her?
So why'd she go into his room in the first place?
Why's she going for the wine cellar... a peculiar thing to do.
Getting drunk I guess that's a solution to nightmares... kind of.
EW more Michael and Em.
The ending sounds ominous.
Roger killing Annalyn, is this a prediction?
Or is it foresight into a creature that might attack them... Roger is going to save her?
So why'd she go into his room in the first place?
Why's she going for the wine cellar... a peculiar thing to do.
Getting drunk I guess that's a solution to nightmares... kind of.
EW more Michael and Em.
The ending sounds ominous.
11/23/2013 c9 Mak
Amelia Kraven... ah her story now.
Hah, Em. Your mom's a pirate. :)
vomit... Michael and Em. :P Just doesn't feel right.
Roger sounds scared of love because of his mysterious past. I wonder if that story will ever come to light... :)
Amelia Kraven... ah her story now.
Hah, Em. Your mom's a pirate. :)
vomit... Michael and Em. :P Just doesn't feel right.
Roger sounds scared of love because of his mysterious past. I wonder if that story will ever come to light... :)
11/23/2013 c8 Mak
"The ship would always be dirty in her opinion." - That's probably very true.
Hah. And there's Em... eating her words. :)
Oh Roger... defending Em's honor by killing people... :)
"Don't worry. I'm sure Calypso won't mind me defending Her," Em retorted. - That's exactly what I was thinking.
"The ship would always be dirty in her opinion." - That's probably very true.
Hah. And there's Em... eating her words. :)
Oh Roger... defending Em's honor by killing people... :)
"Don't worry. I'm sure Calypso won't mind me defending Her," Em retorted. - That's exactly what I was thinking.
11/23/2013 c7 Mak
"Because of your lack of judgment to act quickly, we need to locate and retrieve her quickly!" - that's a bit repetitive...
This ended like a truly evil chapter. I feel like in the movies where you get to see the bad guys plotting... that's what this was.
"Because of your lack of judgment to act quickly, we need to locate and retrieve her quickly!" - that's a bit repetitive...
This ended like a truly evil chapter. I feel like in the movies where you get to see the bad guys plotting... that's what this was.
11/23/2013 c6 Mak
I think nearly pleasant is a fitting description for Roger. Michael has that right.
"No cuffs, same set raw skin rings. Em slowly..." - missing an of?
"Perhaps he was one of the superstitious ones that Michael had been arguing with Dread Robin." - missing an about?
"I know you've never experienced being force into slavery..." - hah. She's going to eat those words later. :)
And we see that Roger isn't a terrible person, he kept her from jumping ship.
I think nearly pleasant is a fitting description for Roger. Michael has that right.
"No cuffs, same set raw skin rings. Em slowly..." - missing an of?
"Perhaps he was one of the superstitious ones that Michael had been arguing with Dread Robin." - missing an about?
"I know you've never experienced being force into slavery..." - hah. She's going to eat those words later. :)
And we see that Roger isn't a terrible person, he kept her from jumping ship.
11/16/2013 c5 Mak
"Em looked up at the same time someone said, "Are ya sure, Cap'n? From Tarym? Why's is so far outta here?" - now I know your pirates don't speak properly but should that is be it instead?
"Em looked back at the merchant ship. They were on the its tail, and telling from the shouts and frenzy on the main deck, they occupants were scrambling to get ready for the incoming pirate attack." - There's an extra the in there.
Hah... she wants Cicero... how funny.
Ah Roger... :) Meeting him here is one of my favorite parts of the entire series of books
"A verysoft mattress that felt as if it was filled with..." - another missing space. Fictionpress has sabotaged you! :)
Roger is such a softie at heart... :)
"Em looked up at the same time someone said, "Are ya sure, Cap'n? From Tarym? Why's is so far outta here?" - now I know your pirates don't speak properly but should that is be it instead?
"Em looked back at the merchant ship. They were on the its tail, and telling from the shouts and frenzy on the main deck, they occupants were scrambling to get ready for the incoming pirate attack." - There's an extra the in there.
Hah... she wants Cicero... how funny.
Ah Roger... :) Meeting him here is one of my favorite parts of the entire series of books
"A verysoft mattress that felt as if it was filled with..." - another missing space. Fictionpress has sabotaged you! :)
Roger is such a softie at heart... :)
11/16/2013 c4 Mak
I'm beginning to think this must be an error when you uploaded the chapters? "She bit her bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. "Topirates, she whimpered." - another missing space unless I just don't understand her...
"The bare-chested pirate grinned. He had a gap in the middle row of his lower teeth." - What exactly is the middle row, does he multiple rows of teeth? I think you just meant middle of?
I'm beginning to think this must be an error when you uploaded the chapters? "She bit her bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. "Topirates, she whimpered." - another missing space unless I just don't understand her...
"The bare-chested pirate grinned. He had a gap in the middle row of his lower teeth." - What exactly is the middle row, does he multiple rows of teeth? I think you just meant middle of?
11/16/2013 c3 Mak
Oh Annalyn... and every time I get excited about Em being carted away to the pirates. :)
"You nevercared about me," she said. "That brat..."- missing a space at the beginning.
Oh Annalyn... and every time I get excited about Em being carted away to the pirates. :)
"You nevercared about me," she said. "That brat..."- missing a space at the beginning.
11/16/2013 c2 Mak
I know, I'm reading the wrong stuff but I wanted to make sure I got all the changes in my head before moving forward.
"The woman pushed a screaming Henry into the d man's arms. "Here, take him..." - there's a random d in that sentence. :)
I know, I'm reading the wrong stuff but I wanted to make sure I got all the changes in my head before moving forward.
"The woman pushed a screaming Henry into the d man's arms. "Here, take him..." - there's a random d in that sentence. :)