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8/3/2010 c1 1millisfoxx
Hmm, looks like I forgot to change my name to MillieKittan on here...

I cant say I'm an expert on poems, I just like writing them XD But I do love the feel of this poem, the way it progresses and the truthfulness behind the words themselves.

My only advice is to remember caps and punctuation, as I'm not sure how I'm supposed to read it because of the lack of them. The only place I'm prompted to take a pause is:


alive, a living being with feelings'

That's the only punctuation in the whole thing other than the stop at the end, and I'm not sure thats how you meant me to read it.If that is how you meant me to read it, you might want to work onthe flow of your poems

Other than that, very good ^^ I hope you update some more in here, I would be interested to read them.

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