for Beast Syndrome11/14/2016 c21 ajashire1
Heyyyyyyyy
Pretty good story. It progressed in a different way than I had expected but nonetheless I enjoyed it. :)
Thanks for the read!
-As1
Heyyyyyyyy
Pretty good story. It progressed in a different way than I had expected but nonetheless I enjoyed it. :)
Thanks for the read!
-As1
7/24/2016 c21 Obsidionyx
A good story. I hope that things work out for the boys; it would be plain cruel for them to go through all that and have it end in tragedy. Thank you for this marvelous tale and I look forward to seeing more of your work. _
A good story. I hope that things work out for the boys; it would be plain cruel for them to go through all that and have it end in tragedy. Thank you for this marvelous tale and I look forward to seeing more of your work. _
7/16/2016 c21 SlashLover
Great story. I cried through several posts of it.
Thanks so much for sharing.
Great story. I cried through several posts of it.
Thanks so much for sharing.
6/20/2016 c21 Karunjaal
So I don't know what to say about this ending/epilogue. I mean, I really enjoyed this story and what you were trying to do with it. But i can tell with it that you were rushing to finish it as some of the commenters noted before me (all the things with Dante's not-so-dad dad and Dante working to find a cure felt so easy when summarized). And though some parts of the fic were neat (like the initial drug bust of the evil dad, the engagement band and support from his mom on behalf of his dad, learning how Sean and Dante and his family/friends lived their lives), other parts felt inappropriate or rushed. Especially the bit where Sean engaged to Dante when he was showing symptoms of pain, like damn, way to brush over that! Though I get what moral you were trying to make with that, it just seemed too out of character for Sean to show little concern there.
But overall, what bothers me the most is that this ending did not seem like what you were had intended to build up to. With all the different plot points about corrupt politics and BS drug testing (etc), goals that needed to be achieved like fake dad being arrested and Sean learning how to be competent (and not die) in the police force, and hurdles that needed to be jumped over like Dante finally finding a cure to BS, I feel like the story ended too abruptly and anticlimactically.
I'm still not suggesting you go back and edit or rehash your story. That would be so exhausting; not even I would want to do that after all those years! I do suggest though that for your next major story idea, you can make realistic goals for yourself? Like make the main character(s), a beginning and a projected ending. Then you can make up some middle ground and secondary characters. Just so you avoid having to rush or slap together another odd ending into a story.
Your writing has so much potential, but I feel like when you rush an ending you kind of kill the awesomeness you've made (and I certainly felt the same way in regards to Fernwood Academy, too). So if you can figure out a way to build up specific plot points to an appropriate climax, that would make your work amazing!
Regardless of what you end up doing, I appreciate that you wrote this! This fic was a really cool and entertaining ride, and I loved it a lot minus its downsides!
So I don't know what to say about this ending/epilogue. I mean, I really enjoyed this story and what you were trying to do with it. But i can tell with it that you were rushing to finish it as some of the commenters noted before me (all the things with Dante's not-so-dad dad and Dante working to find a cure felt so easy when summarized). And though some parts of the fic were neat (like the initial drug bust of the evil dad, the engagement band and support from his mom on behalf of his dad, learning how Sean and Dante and his family/friends lived their lives), other parts felt inappropriate or rushed. Especially the bit where Sean engaged to Dante when he was showing symptoms of pain, like damn, way to brush over that! Though I get what moral you were trying to make with that, it just seemed too out of character for Sean to show little concern there.
But overall, what bothers me the most is that this ending did not seem like what you were had intended to build up to. With all the different plot points about corrupt politics and BS drug testing (etc), goals that needed to be achieved like fake dad being arrested and Sean learning how to be competent (and not die) in the police force, and hurdles that needed to be jumped over like Dante finally finding a cure to BS, I feel like the story ended too abruptly and anticlimactically.
I'm still not suggesting you go back and edit or rehash your story. That would be so exhausting; not even I would want to do that after all those years! I do suggest though that for your next major story idea, you can make realistic goals for yourself? Like make the main character(s), a beginning and a projected ending. Then you can make up some middle ground and secondary characters. Just so you avoid having to rush or slap together another odd ending into a story.
Your writing has so much potential, but I feel like when you rush an ending you kind of kill the awesomeness you've made (and I certainly felt the same way in regards to Fernwood Academy, too). So if you can figure out a way to build up specific plot points to an appropriate climax, that would make your work amazing!
Regardless of what you end up doing, I appreciate that you wrote this! This fic was a really cool and entertaining ride, and I loved it a lot minus its downsides!
6/19/2016 c21 Chocolatecoke
For the most part, I do agree with staypretty's opinion. The ending was abrupt, and it might be just me, but I'm still not sure what the silver key does/will do.
For the most part, I do agree with staypretty's opinion. The ending was abrupt, and it might be just me, but I'm still not sure what the silver key does/will do.
6/18/2016 c21 staypretty
I'm so happy it's finally complete, but I feel like it's been rushed. Unless you're planning a sequel, this ending barely wraps up loose ends, and barely answers any questions. The loose ends it does tie up, is done in a way that appears like you didn't think or care to think about details and just stuck a bandaid on it and went "yup, good enough." ie, catching Dantes bio. Dad.
Perhaps it would've been better left on hiatus. Writing stories is definitely hard, don't get me wrong, and your writing is lovely. But unless you're going to put your personal 100% in, I don't see a point in doing it at all. The very ending of your story is very disappointing - Dantes having withdrawal symptoms that are getting worse, and what do you end with? A marriage proposal and "we'll deal with whatever comes our way." Like, okay, Dantes in great physical and mental pain, was that moment REALLY a great time to propose like it would make things better?
It's apparent the detailed beginning and rushed half-added end is your M.O, so I don't know why I'm disappointed when I should've expected this, from reading Fernwood.
I'm so happy it's finally complete, but I feel like it's been rushed. Unless you're planning a sequel, this ending barely wraps up loose ends, and barely answers any questions. The loose ends it does tie up, is done in a way that appears like you didn't think or care to think about details and just stuck a bandaid on it and went "yup, good enough." ie, catching Dantes bio. Dad.
Perhaps it would've been better left on hiatus. Writing stories is definitely hard, don't get me wrong, and your writing is lovely. But unless you're going to put your personal 100% in, I don't see a point in doing it at all. The very ending of your story is very disappointing - Dantes having withdrawal symptoms that are getting worse, and what do you end with? A marriage proposal and "we'll deal with whatever comes our way." Like, okay, Dantes in great physical and mental pain, was that moment REALLY a great time to propose like it would make things better?
It's apparent the detailed beginning and rushed half-added end is your M.O, so I don't know why I'm disappointed when I should've expected this, from reading Fernwood.
6/18/2016 c18 Guest
this is so fun!
this is so fun!
6/14/2016 c19 Guest
I'm not ready to say goodbye yet! Noooo I love these characters! I love this story! I'm usially more articulate but I now feel like an incoherent mess... I have been following this story ssince it was first posted (yhe first version) and I feel like I almost know you...
I can't thank you enough for sharing your gift of writing with the world. You made my life easier, got me through some hard times, put a smile on my face.
I'm not ready to say goodbye yet! Noooo I love these characters! I love this story! I'm usially more articulate but I now feel like an incoherent mess... I have been following this story ssince it was first posted (yhe first version) and I feel like I almost know you...
I can't thank you enough for sharing your gift of writing with the world. You made my life easier, got me through some hard times, put a smile on my face.
6/13/2016 c20 Guest
Epilogue!? But what happens to Dante?! THERE ARE LOOSE THREADS! Is he gonna find a cure? Oh god I hope the epilogue isn't one of those "he spent the next few years researching but succumbed to his illness before he could find a cure for BS, so now I (Sean), will continue his work so no one else has to go through what we had to. I still visit his gravesite everyday with a bouquet of his fav flowers and my heart is broken etc etc"
Because I WILL cry and feel cheated and incomplete
Epilogue!? But what happens to Dante?! THERE ARE LOOSE THREADS! Is he gonna find a cure? Oh god I hope the epilogue isn't one of those "he spent the next few years researching but succumbed to his illness before he could find a cure for BS, so now I (Sean), will continue his work so no one else has to go through what we had to. I still visit his gravesite everyday with a bouquet of his fav flowers and my heart is broken etc etc"
Because I WILL cry and feel cheated and incomplete
6/12/2016 c20 Chocolatecoke
It's the ending already?! Wah I'm gonna miss looking forward to this story. A bit of wishing on my part, but I hope Sean and Dante show a little more of their relationship together
It's the ending already?! Wah I'm gonna miss looking forward to this story. A bit of wishing on my part, but I hope Sean and Dante show a little more of their relationship together
6/12/2016 c20 Karunjaal
Whaaat this is almost the end? Wow...that's so weird! I mean, the story was really excitinv and awesome, but this doesn't seem like an ending to it at all. Maybe a pre-climax, since some things still seem to have been left unanswered. Like when/if Dante is really going to die, all the mess with Dante's dad now, etc. I dunno.
Though I'm not suggesting you extend the story by any means! But maybe I should just wait for the epilogue...so until then!
Whaaat this is almost the end? Wow...that's so weird! I mean, the story was really excitinv and awesome, but this doesn't seem like an ending to it at all. Maybe a pre-climax, since some things still seem to have been left unanswered. Like when/if Dante is really going to die, all the mess with Dante's dad now, etc. I dunno.
Though I'm not suggesting you extend the story by any means! But maybe I should just wait for the epilogue...so until then!
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