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2/23/2011 c2 Quindafer
Ha Ha Ha! what was Andrew thinking wearing Ameilia's dress and a wig, you made me laugh! :D
2/23/2011 c10 draco oblivion
Ok so I'm getting the impression Puck and Amelia are kind of jealous of eachother...
2/22/2011 c9 5Victoria Stokes
i'm going to do this review as i go cause, well, i came home from school early and i'm bored. lol.

"Who could resist the amazing?" - LOL. i love kai.

Andrew looked down at her, not letting go of her wrist he grabbed - leave off the "he grabbed" part. you already said he grabbed it.

Andrew's smile faltered. "Amelia is a very smart woman. Don't insult her intelligence." - haha third person. did he do that on purpose or accident? either way, it made me smile.

"There's something strange about Amelia-sama," Hideaki said to Kai. Andrew turned the corner, just in time to hear Kai's response.

"I think she's interesting."

^^ that legit made me giggle like a silly girl. haha. i love the simple things. very good.

sheena is really adorabe and i liked the part where andrew let her cry on him, even though he was a jerk about it. it was soft. haha. i loved that subtle arguing between all three of them. and hideaki can crawl in a dark hole and stay there :)

i really liked this chapter. it may have been my favorite so far. very nice job!
2/21/2011 c9 31HeroofEnelios
Hideaki and Kai being on Andrew's hit list when he returns to his country is no surprise. That's right. Go Andrew! An excellent chapter, my favorite one so far and I can't wait to read more.
2/21/2011 c9 draco oblivion
Lol Andrew spoke in third person.
2/20/2011 c3 6Lillian Dooley
I was going to wait until the last chapter to review, but I have a few things I want to mention now.

You need to work on double checking verb tense. Also, make sure your pronouns have clear antecedants. Don't leave it vague.

Good news, you successfully show and do not tell me what is happening in the story. Your style is pretty good, but you still sound like an inexperienced writer. Don't worry about it, though. That'll come in time. It still has yet to arrive for me.

The BIG thing I want to address is how strange the whole twin-lover thing is. I am constantly wondering if that was really necessary. Isn't sibling love good enough?

And, the whole pretending to be his sister thing is making me wonder things about Andrew. How old are they? Is his voice really that girly? Wouldn't the dress not fit around the bust? Aren't his hands really very different? Can a male really pass for a female?

I honestly don't see how all those people can not catch what is going on.

Is there possibly another way to get him in the same situation without it being as awkward and unbelievable? I'm having difficulty finding plausibility in your reasoning.

It's good, though. Just the technicals are bothering me.
2/20/2011 c8 15hopey93
hi :)

i really really like your start of your story! please write more and continue it.

i love the irony and the switching places of the twins, the origonal plot and new take on dragons.

i am curious to find out what happens in the end and mabey read a sequal?

love this this story please finish it!

from hope x
2/19/2011 c8 31HeroofEnelios
Okay something is really not right with Kai now. He seems more evil and less. sarcastic which is not good and now I'm getting worried. *shudders*

An awesome chapter, I really enjoyed it! *runs off to read A Princess Summoning*
2/18/2011 c1 Teddy Rxupin
The diagogue is badly written and the sentences and reptitive and things looks almost like plagiarism.
2/18/2011 c8 5Victoria Stokes
my computer stopped flashing just enough to read the chapter! except now it's beginning to flash again -.-

i liked the whole conversation between andrew and kai about the fairytale stuff. it made me smile. kai is so cynical, but i really like him :) that entire scene was just really nice... got to see another side of kai, but his personality was still the same person. and it seems like andrews starting to slip and like kai more. just a little, but still. haha. so good job choppy!
2/17/2011 c7 Victoria Stokes
i liked this chapter ^_^ i liked the dead flower. i got kinda made when the woman ruined it xD and i really like sheena. i find her so cute :)

just one question, andrew said his "younger sister" at the end, but aren't they twins? or did they have another sibling?

that's my only question. i liked how he ran away at the end. i don't know why, but i love it when characters do that... it's like I CAN'T TAKE THIS. BYE. haha. so, good job :D
2/16/2011 c4 11Liveey123348
Im starting to read your story and I find it intruging, I really want to see how it ends~ :D I find the incest thing kinda odd though :/ lol xD

see ya in the next chappy~

Kaitlyn

K.I.T

xOxO
2/16/2011 c7 16Rahar Moonfire
Ok. You don't know me well so I'll show mercy this time, but... If you don update soon, I'll haunt you until you do. ;)
2/16/2011 c4 Rahar Moonfire
Call this my being picky, but "ha" you used after "Onamai" whe you had Andrew ask Sheena her name in Japanese is actually pronounced "wa." Though true thesymbol is thesame as "ha," the way it's used in this case is the particle that denotes the subject of the sentence. Also, since I'm not exactly fluent in Japanese, it would be nice if you put the translations after the Japanese. You handeled it well so far though.

Other than that, I'm still interested. Is this yaoi? Just curious.
2/16/2011 c3 Rahar Moonfire
Interesting premis. Just curious, but is this yaoi? *gives you googoo eyes*

Great story so far. There are some grammar and spelling issues but they're minor. Verb agreement and verb tense, that sorta stuff. But then, I'm not one to talk. This coming from the person who tends to write/update her fics at midnight or past. ^^' Anywho, keep it up. It sounds interesting.
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