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for The Experiment

4/4/2014 c1 Wimpikid333
This is interesting, but maybe too technical. Would a chance reader want to know about 'dihydrogen monoxide'?
12/23/2010 c1 4Hunter 'Hawkshadow' Crane
you need to get your ass in gear and type up a new chapter, this ny last review space on the story for now get to it!
8/22/2010 c3 Hunter 'Hawkshadow' Crane
8/19/2010 c2 Strobe Light Express
Great chapter! I love how you changed from third person to first person to kind of show how Abeni is becoming more human-like. Really creative! And the summary...awesome. Cracked me up. Also thought I'd tell you how I love the way Abeni talks-with all the big words and how she sounds sorta...I dunno. Robotic or something? Anyway, awesome story! And I'm glad that more people have found this story and enjoy it just as much as I do! (:

8/19/2010 c1 Spazzy Silver
This is really great, kudos for writing something that really got me hooked! I'm going to be adding you and your story to my favorites! As far as the actual content goes, I'm sure there are a few things you could work on in order to make better (Such as two typos I've seen - I don't recall where they are exactly) but overall it's fantastic and I really have no advice to give you aside from keep going at it!

You're a great writer with a very cool plot idea. I can't wait to see where this goes and I do hope you keep going with this. Usually "Experiments and Labs" aren't really my thing, but this is definitely worth it. Also, I must give you props, you pulled off the thoughts of an overly intelligent yet socially awkward person quite well, especially in the first chapter.
8/19/2010 c2 2The Noisy Mime
There is nothing bad I can really say about this. I can tell you are a good writer.

At first, based off of the summary, I thought The Experiment would have a pretty basic, and cliche plot. So far, it doesn't seem that way and I am looking foward to see where this is going. Update soon.
8/19/2010 c2 4Hunter 'Hawkshadow' Crane
8/18/2010 c2 3SleepingBear
I'd have to agree with the person below. I'm loving this story already. :) In case you're wondering, I didn't notice anything that you need to correct because I was too into the plot. Keep going!
8/17/2010 c1 Strobe Light Express
Wow. This is very good. Drew me in right away, very well written and interesting.

Good job, I can't wait to see where this story goes.

I just have a suggestion as to how you could get more reviews. Maybe you could change your summary, and get rid of the 'for lack of a better title' part in your title. This, and the fatct that you mention in the summary that you don't know where the story is going, will make people think that you won't be a very good writer, or that you don't know what you're doing, which is the complete opposite, since this is one of the best stories I've ever read. :D

Even if you keep it as 'the experiment', and change it later, that would be fine. And for your summary, just make it so that it'll atrract more attention. something like, "An experiment is created in a lab ..." (okay, so that example was really crappy, but you get the idea (: ) and then explain why. Even if you don't know why yet, you could just sort of make it foreshadow-y, or maybe you could think of a reason why and work your plot around that, so then you WILL have more of an idea to where this story would go. You may get more hits then.

keep writing! I love it so far!

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