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for stains

11/28/2010 c1 612simpleplan13
I left a review on "to live" that actually was a review for this piece fyi...
11/24/2010 c1 scars washed white in Him
c r y s t a l. ♥

it's alison.


are you okay? i pray that you are alright, that you haven't lost faith or hope.

i am so sorry beyond words, crystal, that i haven't talked to you in forever. safe haven is not an option for me right now, as i am not yet strong enough spiritually to return to that place where i was mocked and persecuted with scathing remarks and cruelty.

but i do want to talk to you again.

you are a truly incredible, amazing, beautiful person, and your writing never fails to take my breath away.

but this ... this worries me.

when i last talked to you, i was in a horrid state of backsliding. over the past year, i have backslidden around 20 times. i would return to Jesus for a few days or weeks, and then slide back into the darkness and agony. but after two months of backsliding, i have returned to Him forever, and have never felt so happy or fulfilled. i am seeking God's face and Love as never before, and can feel His Spirit filling me to overflowing. i know that He is using me and working beauty into my life that was wounded so seriously on february 6, 2010, when i was ... raped.

i've spent the last nine months in treatment. one month in a psychiatric hospital, four months in a residential treatment facility and now almost five months in a therapeutic group home.

crystal, you are in my constant thoughts and deepest prayers. ♥

i know the feeling of being lost. i never thought that i would feel it ever again, but backsliding turned my world backwards, and being violently assaulted sexually turned it upside down, and almost sent me to hell as i started cutting again and seriously contemplating suicide.

i know apathy. i know grayness. i know feeling empty and hopeless inside as you bleed yourself away.

but please, crystal, don't give up. it's not worth it to give up. you are too strong and too beautiful to lose your faith. trust me. feel free to talk to me about anything.

i love you so much. ♥

e-mail me. please.

love always in Christ,

alison ♥

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