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for After

8/30/2014 c1 Julietish
Hi! It's Juliet from A Drop of Romeo. Here is the review an ADoR judge wrote for your story: "After" is one of those stories that sticks in your mind for weeks after reading it. The haunting, creepy feel of "After" was enhanced by Koki Enwai's brilliant writing style, which I fell in love with from the very first sentence. Giving just enough information to connect with the characters, but not enough information to satisfy the curiosity of readers, "After" definitely strikes a perfect balance, which is necessary for a true horror story. The dialogue was flawlessly crafted, drawing me into the story and giving me a feel of each character's personality. The ending, which left me desperate to know more, was like a punch to my gut and made me want to go back and read it over again. Upon reading "After," you will definitely be tingling with fear and desperate for more information. "After" is unquestionably a story you don't want to miss out on.
7/1/2013 c1 BlackRose
You're a great writer in less than 1,000 words you're left with endless possibilities as to why they killed the man. I think the man did something to her since she's not allowed to cry about him. Even though you didn't give many details I think the reasons to the murder and the connection between the characters is hidden but can be found. Great read.
4/28/2013 c1 MadOwler
I don't know what to say, I'm curious as to why they killed a guy they apparently know and why Kirsten should be thankful for Rob and Josh killing him. I also want to know why Brandon was going to be killed even if they didn't do it, but I think the mystery adds to the allure of the story. It was very well written and had a haunting feel to it, very well done.
3/24/2013 c1 kismet
in under 1000 words, you painted a tragically beautiful picture. the relationships between characters is so defined, considering the one-shot status. caution: witty one-liners ahead.
3/24/2013 c1 Ray
Meh, it's good enough for a beginning of something, but as a whole this piece is lacking. If you were trying to capture a single moment, ending it before the dialogue between Josh and Kirsten would have been ideal, but by continuing to another scene, it exposes the lack of insight into the characters and how they're not really fleshed out. In addition, you've left too much to the imagination, a bit more detail on the crime would've made it a whole lot better.
3/17/2013 c1 13youngin-matomon
What a haunting, bewitching tale.

You write plainly, honestly, blankly, with little or no adjectives. Usually I would find that a put off but... it works. You make it work.

I'm looking forward to reading the rest of your works.
6/11/2012 c1 26daniellegypt
This was so dark, but so incredibly enjoyable. You've a very good story-teller; not too much information was given to ruin my imagination, and just enough information was given at the right moments to make me wonder about more.
1/6/2012 c1 frouwe
I found this through Project Fiction, and I am really not disappointed. While I do like this how it is, I'd like to know the backstory.

It makes sense that we only get the reactions, though. It is, after all, called After. And despite the length, the characters are pretty well-rounded. Josh anger at the world and no-nonsense attitude make it seem like he's the principal perpetrator of what they did to Brandon, though he does appear to care about Kirsten to some level. Rob is just sort of along for the ride. He feels no remorse, but he's nonchalant about everything. Kirsten obviously way over her head. I don't think she was aware that things were going to go that far when she asked the guys for it or whatever.

I'll probably check your other stories later, to see if I can find something similar and maybe longer.
8/27/2010 c1 4A. J. Manders
I am very glad that you posted this! I've been having a hard time finding credit-worthy reads lately and this definitely is one!

I know it says one shot, but part of me wants to know the back story...what this Brandon did, why he's swinging from a barn...why he deserved to die...

Maybe could include a little bit of the narrator's feelings about the place they are in and the people that she is with. That might help clarify. Does she know them well? What do they look like? (Although the reader does get a good impression about this through the dialogue, good job!) But is she familiar with her suroundings? Or are they trespassing...and that's part of why she's afraid?

So far...I got the impression that she knew where she was...that she regretted what happened...that maybe this Brandon guy was a jerk, but she felt that him being dead might have gone too far...but she's not completely sure.

I enjoyed the ending very much. It adds to a general tone of the story, I think. The question: Is she REALLY sorry?
8/27/2010 c1 2Knots
WHY did they do it for her? What did Brandon do to her?

You must do a second chatper!
8/27/2010 c1 1Blue Ravenn
Wow. So, what happened? Kirsten wanted the guy dead, but why? And why is she upset now?

Wait - COMPLETE? It can't be. I'll be waiting on the next update. *please*

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