for You Lied10/31/2010 c1 Alanisaur
Wow, so sad. I would beat his ass, right there and then, but I knew I would be crying at the sametime.
Wow, so sad. I would beat his ass, right there and then, but I knew I would be crying at the sametime.
9/4/2010 c1 
4thisdizzydreamer
AWEH.
Dude, you have to tell me what he was going to explain to her. Was it justified? I MUST KNOW.
I love you. xoxoxo
- J.C.
4thisdizzydreamerAWEH.
Dude, you have to tell me what he was going to explain to her. Was it justified? I MUST KNOW.
I love you. xoxoxo
- J.C.
9/3/2010 c1 21kunoichi-socks
"leave me wanting me"
I believe you meant more...
"He followed her gaze until his guilty eyes rested on mine."
I feel like you could have painted a better picture here, saying something like: He followed her gaze and froze. Guilt instantly flooded his face when our eyes met. Or something along those lines.
"My heart was lead in my chest, dropping down to the lowest level of agony"
I really liked this line!
Other than a few grammatical errors I really liked this! It was very well written, but I think would have been better with a bit more imagery. Excellent story!
- Kat
21kunoichi-socks"leave me wanting me"
I believe you meant more...
"He followed her gaze until his guilty eyes rested on mine."
I feel like you could have painted a better picture here, saying something like: He followed her gaze and froze. Guilt instantly flooded his face when our eyes met. Or something along those lines.
"My heart was lead in my chest, dropping down to the lowest level of agony"
I really liked this line!
Other than a few grammatical errors I really liked this! It was very well written, but I think would have been better with a bit more imagery. Excellent story!
- Kat