for we will meet again11/27/2010 c1 
612simpleplan13
"and then i see you smieling and playing like old time."... smiling and playing like old times
"i know your in a better place and that your happy"... you're and that you're
"i cry every now and then knowing your nolonger here "... you're no longer
You use proper punctuation throughout except you don't use a period at the end, which seemed odd.
The piece is really sweet. It's something we can all relate to I think. Some of the things were a bit expected so you might want to try some different word choices or descriptions, but I really like how the tone is sad, but kind of hopeful at the end too.
PS Check out the Review Game and/or it's Review Marathon (links in my profile!)
612simpleplan13"and then i see you smieling and playing like old time."... smiling and playing like old times
"i know your in a better place and that your happy"... you're and that you're
"i cry every now and then knowing your nolonger here "... you're no longer
You use proper punctuation throughout except you don't use a period at the end, which seemed odd.
The piece is really sweet. It's something we can all relate to I think. Some of the things were a bit expected so you might want to try some different word choices or descriptions, but I really like how the tone is sad, but kind of hopeful at the end too.
PS Check out the Review Game and/or it's Review Marathon (links in my profile!)
9/12/2010 c1 Angel Investor
My condolences. I have never lost a loved one, but this poem somewhat helps me understand how it must feel.
My condolences. I have never lost a loved one, but this poem somewhat helps me understand how it must feel.