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9/11/2011 c2 3Choseporfante
What i've gathered so far is that Gabriel seems to be the type who says exactly opposite of what he actually feels or wants, just to be cool - no...more like so he can brush it off as nothing...

Dom really doesn't seem like a good guy...he came off as...lustful.

Oh, and yes, more detailed encounters between Gabriel and Sorin would truly be favorable 3
9/11/2011 c1 Choseporfante
Sorin seems to know how to handle his sister, more or less...

So far, so good, though. I like your writing style :3
10/11/2010 c2 3no-ones-puppet
Oh gosh! I so would've commented earlier but the site was down last night! :(

Anyways! How could they have dated! Like for reals why would you date the person that had beat you up for most of your adolescent life? Like is Sorin a masochist? Because I think he has to like pain in order to stay with someone that had regularly beat you up!

As to his date, it just doesn't seem like it's going o work. I mean the way he came up and was all "I'll be your guest today" really bugged me! Like for reals who says crap like that? Only creepy people that's who! So I'm siding with Gabriel on this one, Sorin should not date Dom! Although Sorin shouldn't date Gabriel either unless that boy learns to change because any relationship they have will not be healthy, but then again who has a healthy relationship now-a-days? I'd much rather see more interactions between Sorin and Gabriel though than between Sorin and Dom. Plus Dom's name is weird! Sorin was right, who names their kid something like that, let alone 3 of them!

I also wanted to say that your spelling and grammar was much better in your precious chapter than in this one. Maybe it's cause you were so pressed for time, or maybe it's cause I was still in spell check mode from paper writing that I noticed them more. Who knows? I thought you had said you had a beta? Lol. If so they aren't doing their job very well. :) just saying.

Hopefully you'll continue to write more... Maybe even get you crush to help out. :D
10/11/2010 c1 5thefaultinourpatronus
By your user description, I expected something extremely... gory? No, that's not the word for it. But anyway, I like where this seems to be going! So let's see what else you have in store!

x

mandy
10/10/2010 c2 9Chariline
Yes you did, Megan. I remember cause you told me about it on Facebook. xDD

I liked this chapter a lot! ^^ If I may say so, you have improved greatly! You use lots more adjectives and adverbs now, and the dialogue is far from forced, Meg! What would make you believe otherwise? xD

And I still love Emily. And Gabriel. Dom does sound suspicious, actually. When you said he "licked his lips tantalizingly", my mind jumped to the worst conclusions for poor Sorin. D And since Em said he was Sorin's "perfect match", it makes me think he was stalking Sorin to learn more about him. xD Maybe I'm just obsessed with stalkers...

Please update soon! With cherries and rainbow sprinkles and gummy bears on top?

Hearts, Chari!
10/10/2010 c2 5AmandaHold
Sorin doesn't have very good luck. i liked the way emily conned him into going on a date. gabriel and sorin's relationship is weird but it also seems to fit them.
10/10/2010 c2 Poptart Guava King
*squees over your sleepover* lol. um... I liked this chapter, but I didn't like Dom, glad Gabe shares my sentiments. lol

"I'd love to see what you can do in bed. I still hate you, though." that just made my day.
10/9/2010 c1 3no-ones-puppet
I told you I'd review... And I just made your record 8! You can thank me later. :)

Anyways! Great story so far. I like the idea of the main character being a CEO of a major business instead of like a starving artist or a college student or a waiter like so many othe stories have. :)

You've got me curious as to how Gabriel is going to fit into Sorin's probably very hectic life... Maybe he'll go to work for him? I'd need to figure out what he does though! Oh! And hopefully Sorin will be able to make his life hell like Gabriel did to him! But since Sorin stuttered and became very flustered in Gabriel's presence I don't think it's in his personality to be mean. Too bad. Would've been entertaining. :)

Let's see... I love the fact that you actually take the time to use spell check. Makes me smile since I really love good grammar. Little mistakes aren't that big of a deal but when I see like "she ran all the way to the wall, touched it, then turned again around" ugh! It makes my head hurt. (btw that was just an example, it wasn't an actual quote! Although there have been several like it!)

So there is my review. There isn't 3 points but I thought I covered some important stuff. Oh and you'll go on my alerts list for when you put up the next chapter. :)
10/2/2010 c1 6A Kiss in the Dreamhouse
Ah, slash fiction - a wonderful guilty pleasure of mine! Man, I really really loved the conversations and chemistry between Gabriel and Sorin. Especially Gabriel going: 'I wasn't going to drive you home anyway.'

This chapter had enough humour, story and enough background to make the reader want more. So please update! I really enjoyed this, want to know more about their past!
9/25/2010 c1 41short circuit
Ha! The last line was snappy, something lovely to end the chapter with. I really like the narration, it's all dry and witty with that sorta tone I'm fond of. Gabriel seems like a lovable bastard, and I just wanna give Sorin a hug.
9/18/2010 c1 5AmandaHold
i love sorin's name. i think this is going to be interesting. gabriel's funny in a rude, bully type of way. i like his comments like the one you used for the summary.
9/18/2010 c1 16saamf 44
I really like this, it's the kind of story I don't mind spending all day reading (at least for this chapter) except it also feels too short to read...I guess I just have to wait:P
9/15/2010 c1 9Chariline
Gabe was so gonna drive him home. xD

I review! :D

What's wrong, Megan? :( I wanna cheer you up!

I like this so far. Emily seems like a very... interesting character. Kind of makes me think a bit of me, lol. Sorin sounds adorable, and Gabe sounds like the guy who talks in riddles that, if you let it get to a certain point, you just wanna slap him across the face after one too many riddles. xDD

I'm looking forward to reading more!

Hearts, Chari!
9/15/2010 c1 Poptart Guava King
rofl. Gabe seems like such a DOUCHE. You make really douchey characters did you realize that?...my eloquent vocabulary must astound you. xD

I think I like Sorin. He seems like a cutie. I can has him? :D ?
9/14/2010 c1 6godzillais
Funny, I liked it. I wish the second meeting had a little more... I don't know... details maybe? Also, I think a prologue would have helped. But I still liked it, a lot. Those are just things I felt like nitpicking at, okay?

Bravo,

The Purple Knight One Oh One.

PS- Ha Ha first review bitches! 8D

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