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for Without My Olive

1/24/2019 c1 zagato
Wow, he's hopeless, ha ha, thanks!
6/26/2014 c1 Guest
Hi, cute and funny story! Just wanted to point out that muslims, male and female, who are trying to live Islam do not do some of the things in your story- including drinking and dating outside of marriage intentions, engaging in intimacy outside of marriage, being alone in a room with a member of the opposite sex you're not related to etc. Just thought I'd let you know . yes there are muslims who don't follow the actual faith but claim to be practicing all the same and I guess those are the ones you have depicted in here.
5/14/2013 c1 9AKhwab
Lol. Cute story. He's delusional. She seemed unreal.
10/20/2012 c1 1dontletgo
I just want to clarify that Pakistan is not an Arab country, but are in the Middle East region. Pakistan does not speak arabic, their alphabets are similar to Arabic writing, but everything is different after that. I like the story, but I couldn't help but cringe on the information you had on Muslims and Arabs. Yes some are stereotypes, and that is totally okay, but the rest I wanted you to clarify on since nothing really made sense. You broke a lot of the Islam concepts and didn't leave any information as to why. I am a Muslim Arab girl, and this story info was cringe worthy, and also since this was killing me through the story, god Allah are the same, an Arab would say thank god or shoukran ya Allah or shoukran la rabna, I have never heard a teenager say thank Allah, unless they were doing it for giggles. The correct way would be "thank god" or "thank the lord", your talking about teenagers here. I am also Canadian and have been in a Pakistani Muslim private school for 7 years, please write with accurate information. Your story was beautiful, but I couldn't help but feel put off by the lack of information in the story.
10/20/2012 c1 heal me forever
u know i always afarid of muslims i dnt no why ? but ya I DO ...but he was pretty awesum never saw a charctor in one shot ya any stry wid dis much love partically in awe nd love wid him
great job
9/30/2012 c1 1elle is a punk
Aw, this was so cute! Very nicely written, and a really cool concept. This line was just amazing - "What the hell did Imran know about anything anyway? He drove a Kia for fuck sakes." I don't know why, but it really made me laugh. Haha. Anyway, great job! Hope to read more from you soon!
5/30/2012 c1 46SwimmingThroughExistance
brilliant. has anyone told you- you're a genius?
5/14/2012 c1 27absentmindedprofessor
This was incredibly sweet and adorable and so HILARIOUS and I couldn't stop reading! What a cute couple Ashir & Olive make :D I love your writing style, it's so candid and real. *Going in my favourites*
4/12/2012 c1 Jahnvi
It is so obvious he is not a practising Muslim and I know many who drink alcohol, pick fights and sure as anything swear. I know a few that like what they shouldn't like and what is wrong with that? Why should their faith stop them from following their heart? I know a few that have kept their religion and haven't compromised their relationship either, not even converting their partner. Now that's love, and what greater love is there? Apart from that, it's just a story kids, not non-fiction, and if you don't like it, don't read it. Right?

Anyway, I think you could have missed out the Godly references though, it makes it almost hypocritical that on one side, he is not a practising dude, and on the other, he keeps mentioning Allah and to be fair, I don't think it is as common place as most of us say "oh my God". I think what ever his sister does is up to her, but maybe you could have her show disapproval since she seems more religious?

Nice concept though!
3/21/2012 c1 Noori
Hey! The way you write is good! The only thing is write about something better! You got lots of Arabic words wrong! And another thing - whatever you wrote about is completely forbidden for Muslims! The swearing, fights, the relationship with olive! The guy's entire character!

Small advice - don't write about things you don't know! :)
3/17/2012 c1 NotoriousWindchime

Do you remember/did you ever come across a story by an author (who I'm pretty sure was an Indian female) and the title of the story was, something like Shaadi (dot) com', or something about like that, marriage in India of the sorts. And story was based around an arranged marriage (I think?) between the main girl and a guy (I think his name was Siddharth or Sid). I think the setting of the story was in India and at the end they end up falling in love...The main girl was really funny and it was Romance/Humour story. Also, they weren't high-school going, they were at least in their 20's - mid 20's. Any help at all regarding the story's name/author's name would be very much appreciated!

Thanks in advance!
3/9/2012 c1 8CrazyCowgirl101
Hilarious and sweet at the same time! Loved it :)
10/31/2011 c1 3peacelovejay
"What the hell will I do with a whale?" Best line ever. Such a good story (as always).
9/12/2011 c1 AdiGal
There was so much more than romance in there. Loved it.

- AG
8/18/2011 c1 Nock
I read this story and it was fabulous :-). I read it again some time later and liked it even more. And then I read the reviews and, although most of the muslims I know don't indeed drink alcohol, some others do. Maybe their faith isn't perfect and maybe they're not practicing enough but that's their problem, isn't it? Come'on. We're only humans. And as long as they don't impose their ideas to others and don't hurt anyone... Who gives a shit?

Still, I find Ashir adorable, him beind all giddy after being smashed up and around Olive. I loved your story, it is well written and all so thank you :-)
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