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for Without My Olive

9/26/2010 c1 6iBrandi
AW. That was so cute.

I loved how scrappy Ashir was and the way he picked fights with everyone, especially considering what a softy he was with Olive. I love that, despite how short it was, there was a real sense of a bigger world that the story was grounded in. I always love the diversity in your stories, so I won't go too much into that, but there is deep love there anyways FYI.

The line that made me laugh out loud was "What the hell did Imran know about anything anyway? He drove a Kia for fuck sakes." Fuckin' Kias, eh.

I wish we could have seen more of Olive. I know it was limited- POV and a one-shot to boot, I just feel like she wasn't as fleshed out as some of the other characters.

ANYWAYS! Major love for the romantic one-shots. I'm excited to see not just a new chapter for the Vitch, but a whole different story! Cheah. Hope things are well, and thanks for posting!
9/26/2010 c1 SnoQueen
Wow...that was really good!

An unusually high amount of profanity and drinking for someone who seems pretty religious...although I think that was kind of the point of it all...? :P

Nevertheless, I enjoyed every moment of it. From the quirky sarcasms used, to the drunken love declarations.

Keep it up!

~ SnoQueen
9/26/2010 c1 summat

I just first wanted to point out that generally muslims aren't allowed to date unless if it's for marriage intentions. Guys don't have to marry a muslim girl but it's strongly recommended as later during the marriage when you have kids there tend to be a lot of disagreements on religion. Also, we're not supposed to consume alcohol. I'm not sure if you already knew all this but judging by how much you already know, you probably do! =D

Besides that- I couldn't stop laughing at Ashir's stupidity. Nor could I stop cooing. It was really sweet. And I wish there was some more detail on Xander's beating, thinks he's so cool with objectifying women. Ass.
9/26/2010 c1 69Raindrops Melt Away
This is the type of Muslim boy I am avoiding. Great. Sorry, I'm like a modern American Muslim but I just can't get into this story. I just strongly dislike Muslim boys that grope a girl's ass and what not. It's just wrong... otherwise, this story was pretty good. Just sucks I can't get into it because I feel wronged. (DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY!)
9/26/2010 c1 LondonLi
I love your work. The characters have such intense emotions and you do a great job of communicating that. Thanks for posting this! I hope you do more one-shots soon.
9/26/2010 c1 MiidKniight
I love your stories. It started with Hiring A Hooligan. I waited for years for it to be completed and it was totally worth it. Your characters are always awesome and you write at a totally different level than many other authors.
9/26/2010 c1 6SunsetRainbow

MY HEART IS RACING reading this

it's amazing

stunning, adorable sexy

9/26/2010 c1 10CassandraStacy
This is an amazing story. The MC reminds me of a friend I have, stubbornly romantic and passionate, always acting before thinking. And libel to do something like picking fights when his hearts broken. Overall, I love the feel of it. I liked how it brought religious and ethnic background into the foreground of the one-shot and overall it was just a joy to read!

9/26/2010 c1 TheTruthAboutForever
OH MY GOD! I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS! IT WAS FUNNY AND CUTE AND ALL TOGETHER JUST AWESOME! Amazing, absolutely amazing. You're an awesome writer. Gah, I just gonna keep rambling about how amazing this was, so to spar you I'll go now!
9/26/2010 c1 SparklingStar25
so cute...! :)
9/26/2010 c1 6Sunsetshadow19
I seriously can't get over how amazingly quirky and funny all of your stories are. I really like the emphasis on the non-typical character. The cultural background is really cool and gives your characters depth. I can't wait for the next update or the newest story.
9/26/2010 c1 je ne veux pas travailler

This was so funny, I LOVED it!

9/26/2010 c1 13blurrylights
Aw! That was so adorable. =] I loved it!
9/26/2010 c1 18sundanced
Gawd, I love ALL of your stories. Especially because they, in some way, incorporate South Asian characters and culture (I'm Gujarati as well!). Stories that profess dark skin to be, well, gorgeous, are so rare over here. There are dark-skinned male characters, yes, but dark-skinned female characters are few and far between.

With your stories, it's nice to be reminded that girls on the darker end of the spectrum can be attractive and loved as well.

So, basically, I want to thank you for writing them. Beauty does not segregate, and your writing does not let us all forget that.
9/26/2010 c1 24Sorrow's Smile
lmfao this was hilarious. I love Ashir! he's so cute! you developed the side characters like Imran, Rayla, and Ashir's mom really well too. And of course, Olive. Loving the interracial dating! you don't see that a lot on FP. actually, you don't see African American characters a lot in general. or Pakistani ones. YAYY!

like to the nth degree
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