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for I Love You, Lisa!

3/7/2015 c1 thanks
thanks I like the suitcase part and the part with the sess. life is like a cesspool of lies.
7/27/2012 c1 2Dragon's Midnight Angel
Definitely have to say kudos on posting a poem up about the ones you love and that are important to you...

With that said though...your grammar is lacking and honestly with time and effort on your end of things you can definitely improve on that area.

I will admit I was both puzzled and overwhelming shocked by your poem. I have never ever heard of someone saying that to anyone they truly love or have any emotions for...and as I stated before your grammar was lacking which made the poem difficult to read and understand.

As far as feeling any emotions what so ever while reading...well it definitely didnt make me feel anything but some poems touch people differently. Its your poem and thats what is important.

I wish you good luck with your future endeavors...
3/28/2011 c1 2little miss pandora
wtf lmao r u foreign? cos my uncle is and rights like tht dont give me a bad review wen u sound retarded OH BYE
3/28/2011 c1 2Tahie254
haha i think this really funny ' sess'. and i can see that your writing is little off but you will get better. practice makes perfect.

BITCH if you ever betray me, you and your stupid mother can get out, get out, GET OUT MY LIFE!)

haha!
3/25/2011 c1 5likelemondrops
Not bad for an internet troll. Work on those skills. We both know I'm not talking about the writing.
3/23/2011 c1 Angel Investor
This should be labeled as Humor/Parody. No one in their right senses calls their love interest a bitch, even when hypothetically speaking about an event that doesn't necessarily occur. Your grammar needs serious improvement, and the "Oh hi" and "Oh bye" are not only unnecessary but also annoying.

I've read enough reviews to know that you're a flamer, so before you could type something hateful to me, I took the first step and blocked you. Everyone reading this, I advice you to do the same.
3/21/2011 c1 4Iva Hartnet
Hi I think while it IS sweet that you've written about someone you care about very deeply... As a piece of writing it doesn't deliver all that you want it to. For instance I don't feel that depth or passion of your love for her. And your grammar needs quite a lot of work.

Maybe you could look up a writing course in your locality and work on the weak spots. And as a writer myself I enjoy falling in love with my characters. You left me searching for it.

It doesn't really hit you emotionally, or to be brutally frank on ANY level! But working hard counts so I hope you keep writing and try to improve the areas I mentioned :)
3/21/2011 c1 2RMRBOAKES
First off, thanks for the review ;P

Secondly, nice rhyming adaptation of The Room; it's about time this masterpiece of a film deserved a novelisation of some sort!

Judging from your reviewers here though, not many people have heard of your Magnum Opus...you should definitely spend on publicity and advertising in order to get the sequel maximum exposure ;)
3/18/2011 c1 Kerprew
haha, very origional. But work on the grammer.
3/18/2011 c1 Ana3498
Wow...I'm sorry but I think you're the only exception to the saying, 'Practice makes perfect'.
3/18/2011 c1 1Pain1415
and you complained about my story... this is horrible work on your own stuff and make sure its actually decent before you complain about other people
3/17/2011 c1 ThE AvEnGeR
UH...right...

I'll pretend I didn't read this
3/17/2011 c1 PowerOfTheHand
(BITCH if you ever betray me, you and your stupid mother can get out, get out, GET OUT MY LIFE!)



lol how romantic
3/17/2011 c1 9BubbleBlower
Hii! I am aware that your English may not be the best however i think if you practice it will be good.

Guys who reviewed-i think you should know that fiction press is a site for everyone regardless on where we come from. Wiseau is a member of this site just like you and me so he should have a little respect.

ok, about the poem-it was kind of sweet that you love Lisa, and you even wrote a poem- to think that someone would write a poem for the one they love-isn't that adorable! and you tried your hardest, that's what counts, if you write something from the heart then that's all there is to it, you don't need to be perfect at it!

However, there are times when your grammar is wrong-i think you need to revise the grammar a bit more! I don't blame you, my grammar is rubbish so I'm not the one to talk!

so keep it up and practice lots and lots and don't give up! i started t write last year and my stories compared to everyone is really bad, so i will not give up.

Heehee so take care and update more and don't give up =] and bye =]
1/31/2011 c1 Anoneemoose
HILARIOUS. I especially loved the rhyming. The only thing is that I think you should tone down the references a bit, to keep it subtle. Though, judging by the rest of these reviews, maybe you need to be a little LESS subtle!

I've seen some of your review comments around the site, and I just want to let you know how much I giggle when I read them.
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