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for Black or Brown? : Follow the Dreamer

10/21/2010 c2 Catnip-Packet
O, cliffhanger!

And who is that guy? He doesn't seem familiar to me...I guess I'll just have to wait for the next chapter.
10/9/2010 c1 Willowbranch1995
Yay! You told me the other day that you were going to post another story! I just never thought it would be a sequel to this story!

Please continue it or I think I might go insane.
10/7/2010 c1 Catnip-Packet
Sweet! I sequel! It's true, I can't sleep without Black. I hope you don't make his name Brown in the story. :( And you pinpointed my personality perfectly. ;D
10/7/2010 c1 Angel Investor
Good opening. I like the imaginational plot, though it kind of resembles another story I read a while ago. Your grammar and punctuation are in good shape.

As for contructive critisism, you may want to dive more into the background of the characters to show more about their personalities. You could add emotional flashbacks of how Selena and Black used to play and spend time together. This would make the bond between her and the teddy bear more evident. Also, you need to add description, especially about the appearance of your characters. Please don't give out all the details in one big chuck; scatter them around in the text. It's a good way to give new pieces of information along with actions, so they don't seem irrelevant.

Example: "Her blonde hair danced in the chilly wind, and she zipped up her red jacket".

Finally, if you want a good way to make the reader excited for more, try to add suspense and end the chapter with a cliffhanger. Alternatively you can have a bunch of hilarious jokes that amuse the reader, causing him/her to want more entertainment. A third way to intrigue your reader is to have interesting characters and storyline. If the reader feels what the characters do, he/she will care what their fate will be, and therefore continue reading until the end.

Hopefully my pieces of advise prove useful for you. Keep going.

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