9/25/2011 c1 16Dragon made me do it
A 4-dimensional remake of Venus, this is a wonderful idea. I am struggling to think of what it might look like, but maybe that is because I can only see in three dimensions (unless you are counting time, and I can't really see the progression of time).

I like your description of the creative artist tormented by criticism of people who don't quite get it. I wonder whether perhaps this is a self-reflection that might also apply to your own writing? Some of the greatest artists were not understood in their own time, because they decided to follow their own ideas rather than doing what they were taught in school, like Vincent Van Gough.

And perhaps also something which looks beautiful in the four dimensions would look ugly and asymmetrical in three. This reminds me of how some birds and other animals can see in ultraviolet or infrared, and might have markings designed to attract their mate which are stunning when viewed by their own species but look boring and brown to humans who can only see in the 'visible' spectrum.

I liked the way the Art seemed so lifelike to the character (even before it came to life). Presumably they would have seen photographs of themselves before, given you have referred to cameras and digital imagery earlier in the story which would date the piece to either an alternative present or the future. why is a painting or sculpture more lifelike than a photograph? A photograph is more technically accurate, and yet somehow an artwork captures more of the personality and spirit of a person.

oh what a fantastic ending! That was really quite chilling!

I have to say I disagree with the other reviewers, I think the language is appropriate for this kind of story which is based on philosophical ideas rather than an action-driven plot. I also really enjoyed the ending.

Just a few points on grammar:

'since it mostly a challenge of patience'- this should be: 'since it is mostly a challenge of patience' or some variation like 'since it often challenges my patience'

'he never called me back to focus before mentioning' - while it may not be technically incorrect to express it in this way, it would be more idiomatic English to say 'he didn't call me back to focus before mentioning ...'

I have to say that this does not read like a story from somebody who speaks English as a second language, although I understand that people in Finland do generally speak very good English.

You are right, this does read like a dream, one in which you are a little disoriented, trapped, and the normal rules of physics do not apply. But you have also managed to turn it into a more coherent narrative than what the straight dream sequence would be. I really enjoyed this story.

10/9/2010 c1 23Lithium of Mercy
Wonderful job! You have a very engaging narrative smile, which makes for a good read. The few little complaints I hade were over grammar - simple things, like no comma where there should be. Other than that, good job!