10/31/2012 c1 1Bryanna B
What a great prologue! You have me hooked :)

(And thanks for helping me figure out how to make links clickable, lol. You rock!)

10/29/2012 c45 1illusionae
This was such a beautifully written chapter. I loved how it felt so rushed and a lot of things were happening because it added a more realistic feel to it. Also, the confession scene was so emotional because not only were they in danger, but they chose each other over that. Aaw. I just hope that this story has a happy ending because everything is turning so tragic now…

10/28/2012 c43 illusionae
Whoa! Such a dramatic chapter! It's such a shame that Lucan and Jenna are no longer on good terms because I actually liked their relationship in the story. However it just goes to show that no matter how perfect Lucan may seem, he's still human and therefore you can't expect him to not freak out when not one but two of his family members die in about an hour. Speaking of which it was so tense when I found out that Lacie died as well, I really didn't see that one coming!

10/27/2012 c49 3thenutrunningthenuthouse
THREE YEARS? GAH TIME SKIP, SO MUCH TIME SKIP.

Y'know, at first, I thought she was waiting for Eidan, and then I realized it was Zeph. It was kind of nice to hear (I do love me some Zeph), *sigh*, it's not Eidan. And then Jenna almost shot Zeph! XD Love this story.

["I didn't get you this gun so that you could just kill me with it, you know." Zeph grumbled, holding the gun above his head.] - no worries, Zeph - I don't think any of us think that while buying our friends guns.

That Lucan thing was interesting. I wonder where our crazy prince is. Looking back, jeez you put that poor boy through some craziness. Is he seriously killing everyone? Talk about an awesome story to tell your grandkids! "Oh yeah, I lived during the time when our prince was out killing everyone like a serial killer." Nice twist, even if it was just rumors.

Celeste and Caelum are in lurve? :D

On another note, I love your contrast between the Air Nomads I have in my mind and the Air Kingdom. I mean, crap, they're like stark opposites, and I think air can work really well as the selfish, dirty element. I love how Zeph is and how he just personifies the Air Kingdom, despite his dislike of it. Actually, everyone's dislike of the Air Kingdom is kind of funny. Like how on the Simpsons Homer pushed aside this ugly sheep so he could pet the cute one: everyone dislikes it, but sometimes you feel so bad that it's so ugly and that no one likes it.

Loved the scene with Eidan and Grace. Oh Ethel, you've made your brother so unhappy. It's interesting to see Eidan and Grace interacting as siblings again. I have a feeling that our tortured male protagonist will return to ze human world soon enough. I mean, what will he do without Jenna and the humans? I mean, we're awesome.

Oh, and you're an awesome arteest too. As my Italian relatives say, you gotta share some of the talent!

10/27/2012 c41 illusionae
I've been so caught up in my school work that I've only had time now to finally read and review a few chapters of this story! I loved this chapter, it was fun and yet dramatic at the same time. I love how even though Jenna's grown as a character she's still the immature Jenna we all know and love. The moments between Caelum and Celeste were so nice too. I like how even though Caelum is pushing her away, you can see that he still cares for her, especially when he protected her from Mana. Onto the next chapter!

10/25/2012 c49 v-n-ll-y
So I noticed you published the story almost exactly 2 years ago.

...Got booted off the computer in the middle of the review so things aren't really going to be in order here.

Okay... Jenna's character seems to have taken a 180. As silly as the younger Jenna was, I think I liked her character more than the current Jenna. I'm not sure what it is exactly but I feel like she's too melodramatic now, a bit on the exaggerated side with regards to how she reacts to mention of Eidan. She's just very pessimistic about Eidan; rather than looking for a possible explanation as to why he left and so on, she just tries to disregard it and just assumes he left because he didn't care enough or whatever she thinks is the reason.

Having said that, I can appreciate the irony that comes from the gap between Eidan and Jenna now. Of course Eidan has realised that he could make things worse if he happened to casually pop by for a visit via the Dark Abyss, but the irony is that if he actually took that risk and tried to clarify the situation, the confusion on Jenna's side might be resolved and maybe the animosity would die and everyone will be happy again.

Yeah right.

And then there's also the irony of Eidan in Balandria, virtually spending every free moment he has wondering about Jenna and the others while Jenna probably doesn't think he's giving them a thought at all. This is quite painful :(

Hmm. Well I think it's only natural for Jenna to immediately think of Lucan if an arrow's been fired at her, since she knows his skill with the bow, but given the very fact they haven't heard anything of him for three years (in addition to the fact that it's quite likely more than one person knows how to use a bow but with whom Jenna is not acquainted) it's also a bit weird that she thinks of him immediately. While I miss Lucan, I thought it was kind of sudden to bring him up if there's been no mention of him for so long, unless he's been a frequent point of discussion for them or something. In the which case it might be worth mentioning that.

Speaking of Lucan, I'm a little unnerved at all the people dying in Marniolle, and maybe it's just because I don't want to think he's evil but it sounds like he might be possessed more than insane...

I also have to say at this point I think Zeph's matured... Maybe just a little bit, but the things he says are more rational now, even though he did approach some things quite logically before. The difference is that now he's actually bothering trying to reason with Jenna, whereas in the past he would probably just roll his eyes and walk off. So things about how they actually should focus on Eidan and that they do need him to work out the curse, even if Jenna doesn't want that. So yeah, I'm liking Zeph's growth.

Caelum and Celeste's chemistry seems to have improved a lot over the last three years, and I think it's great that we finally see what they might've been like before the whole curse thing happened. They're so cute :3

And and and when Jenna was talking to Caelum about the curse. So Mana and Zeph have been sorted out. Caelum and Celeste are together again. Maybe that means Jenna and Eidan are supposed to be together too? Although it did occur to me that Caelum and Celeste would probably still be stuck in the curse in another reincarnation... And what about Lucan and Grace, what's their resolution supposed to be? Oh, I know, probably death...

It's sad to see Grace becoming even more lifeless than she was three years ago, which is saying something. She's basically accepted the fact that she'll probably have to die if Ethel's suggested alternate method of breaking the curse turns out not to work. Speaking of Ethel, still definitely not trusting her, since she's still as manipulative as before and probably does have ulterior motives that she needs to use Eidan for.

'His body had also changed, as to be expected when someone was forced to train everyday, rivaling what he remembered Caelum used to look like.'
-Our Eidan is beastly now 8DDD

Oh, I almost forgot, but I wonder where Vincent came from during the three years, since he obviously wasn't there before. I'm curious about how he met up with Jenna's group. They seem not to like him very much XD

Yes and generally I don't tend to notice errors most of the time, but since I lost my bearings after getting kicked off, I had to reread it and I picked up a couple that stood out.

[Zeph threw his arms in the arm, crying out in exasperation.]
-I think it might've been 'threw his arms in the air' you meant, at a guess.

[Smugly, Jenna beamed at Caelum, which only caused to further irritate the God.]
-Using 'caused' here doesn't really seem right. You could say 'only served to further irritate', 'caused the God further irritation' or 'only further irritated' instead. 'Cause' is generally used as a transitive verb but it seems to be used as an intransitive verb in this sentence.

[Beside her, Caelum was occasionally sending glares at any person who eyed her for too long]
-Missing a full stop.

[If she focused too much on the dilapidated structure of this place then she may end up forcing Celeste to cook instead.]
-Since the narration is in past tense, 'might' would be more appropriate than 'may'.

Might've been others but I lost them so heh.

Anyway, good chapter! Will be interesting to see the rest of the story after the time skip. (You might update while I have exams on, in the which case I'll throw my desk out the window...)

10/21/2012 c48 DutchAver
I can recall about six months ago, when it was March the 22nd and I turned twenty, that you wrote a review for I Never that was HUGE. I think today is a beautiful day to return the favour. Though I should add that I have NEVER written reviews that nearly made the 10.000-characters-mark before. But, there’s a first time for everything, right?

I really like your start and how heartbreaking it is. I love the contradiction you make – how Eidan is now home as in the place where he should be, but at the same time, his real home is now at a completely different place, with Jenna. I guess it’s true love. And, this is old news for you, I’m a real sucker for true love. *Not manlike at all* And, of course, I love how you state that Eidan isn’t used to being royalty anymore. In the Dutch fantasy-story I’m preparing for November, my main character(Kator) is royalty as well, except that he’s been kicked out of the palace and is on the run with his younger siblings. When he gets confronted with royalty again, and is forced to live in a palace, he notes how much he lost his ability to live like royalty. I’m yet to describe it(I haven’t gone further than an outline) but I can certainly take an example from the way you’ve described it here so beautifully.
I’m glad we finally get to see Belandria described, by the way. We’ve heard so much about it, but we’ve never actually seen it. In my mind, it had become a terrible dark and evil place, but it doesn’t seem to be so bad. Then again, there are plenty of kind Shadows, so I think I just made the same mistake as everyone in your world by judging Belandria to be a terrible place because Shadows live there. Sorry!
I keep wondering what Ethel’s real motives are for forcing Eidan back to Belandria, because I don’t think that she’s been telling us the truth. Maybe she felt that Belandria needed a ruler after all, and she forced Eidan to be in that position? Oh poor, poor Eidan, I do feel sorry for him, as he’s being torn up between two worlds and three girls – Jenna on one side, and Ethel and Grace on the other side. It’s hardly possible how a happy ending for Eidan can result from all of this.
By the way, I love those moments when my jaw drops to the floor when I’ve seen a genius twist, a twist that is so clever yet so simple that I could never have thought it possible. Steven Moffat, the main writer of Sherlock and Doctor Who, has managed it with me twice. I don’t think you watch Sherlock, but my jaw dropped to the floor when I found out how the Doctor survived Lake Silencio. The only other person who has managed to fool me twice now is, in fact, you. I never expected Penumbrae to be something so simple. It’s pure genius and I love this story for it. It’s just as genius as the way you started this story – with something that was only explained in a fairly recent chapter, but it wasn’t distracting and it was genius all the same. Just like this one. I love how you have been giving us little clues while we were reading the story, such as Eidan being so strongly attracted to the forest and constantly wanting to go there. Yeah, the best twists make you go all ‘I should have known this’, and I did.
The idea of petty gods… I wonder if you got that from Greek mythology, where the Gods are anthropomorphic and are willing to start a war or to change the whole world if they don’t get their way. The gods here certainly seem to be at least just as arrogant, childish and annoying. The gods in here don’t make any sense at all – after all, it’s wrong for light and dark to be together, but it’s okay for Eidan to be betrothed to both his younger sisters? Then again, that could also be a parallel with Greek mythology as the whole family tree of the Greek gods was screwed up because of incest as well. But then again, Shadows aren’t gods.
Jenna’s heartbreaking was, well… heartbreaking to read. I love how you can make her feel sad because she’s lost her true love, yet it doesn’t sound anywhere near corny. It sounds very realistic and therefore, it’s pretty well done too.
Once again, you show us how well Jenna has grown into a mature woman because of her travels with Eidan. When she’s sad now, she doesn’t kick a fuss anymore, like she did at the start of this story, acting completely like a nine year-old. Now, she handles it in a much more mature way. Jenna was terribly annoying at the start of the story, but she’s not anymore. I guess that’s what this story is about too – not just about true love, but also about growing up. Another thing about Penumbrae that I love: it has so delightfully many aspects.
But the other side of Jenna’s maturity is that she now doesn’t know that well anymore how she should handle her emotions and her sadness, and how she doesn’t want to bother others. As much as I understand her, maybe it’s better if she tells someone else and maybe tries to go to Belandria herself.
Okay, but she doesn’t seem to know that Eidan left for Belandria. Of course she doesn’t – sorry, I simply assumed Eidan would leave some kind of trace, but of course he didn’t. Which makes Jenna’s loss and her sadness all the more heartbreaking, because she genuinely thinks that Eidan abandoned her and let her go. Poor, poor Jenna, it’s so easy to feel for her that it’s almost scary. And that’s what your job as a writer is, right? You’re doing your job well.
As I look at Jenna’s sadness, I can’t help but think of Grace’s words earlier in the chapter how life is pointless as it always ends in death anyway. Although I sincerely disagree with her, I see her point somewhere. Grace has stated that life is pointless, because she has lost her Lucan – and I’m certain that Jenna thinks it too, although you never state it. I think Jenna thinks her life is pointless now as well, because Eidan suddenly left her. I love how you don’t state that, but leave it for us to think. Again, the parallels between Grace and Jenna are beautifully subtle, yet it’s obvious that they’re clones now. I also wonder how Grace will cope with the loss of her love – because she doesn’t seem like the kind of girl to just sit down, cry and talk about her feelings with anyone. Then again, it also seems that she could do it with Eidan in this chapter, as she tells him how much she wished she wouldn’t care. It does seem like she’s a bit more capable of dealing with her emotions, so I hope I’m wrong and she’ll turn out all right anyway.
What will happen to Mana and Zeph now? Because as much as I would love it to be easy, I don’t think it will be as easy as evacuating the Air and the Earth kingdom and just wait until they both fall. I think there’s some kind of disaster awaiting them too.
Wait… maybe Ethel had been trying to get Eidan into Belandria because she wants him to be with Grace, so he can kill her? I wonder how she’s going to state it all. Maybe she’ll just say it tactlessly? I don’t think so, I think there’s some kind of subtle manipulative way for her. Because manipulating people seems to be her favorite hobby. Maybe she somehow manipulates Eidan into killing Grace? It is impossible, but if anyone can find a way, it’s her. Nope, I still don’t trust her and Morgan’s words still echo happily in my mind.
What also bothers me is how stoic Ethel seems to be with this all. She doesn’t seem all that unhappy that she’s lost sight of her brother for so long. She doesn’t seem to be so unhappy either that she’s going to lose Grace in a very near future, because that’s the only way for her to end the curse. Granted, she offered Eidan an alternative way, and she didn’t tell Eidan yet because she’s afraid it’ll hurt his feelings, but she herself doesn’t seem to be all that emotional. Maybe that’s what bothers me so much about her, her lack of emotion. You seem to describe her as the ‘compassionate’ sister, but her lack of compassion makes me feel troubled. Maybe she was the compassionate sister once, but that changed when the darkness corrupted her? When she took over Eidan’s curse?
Speaking of sisters, I like the bond between Eidan and Grace. In previous chapters, I commented on how it doesn’t feel like Grace has such sisterly feelings for her brother, but the exchange between them in this chapter seems to be much more sibling-like, and much less incestuous. It seems like, in Balandria, the only person Eidan can really count on from now on is Grace, with Ethel being a manipulative bitch. After all, he doesn’t know his stepmother that well and I don’t remember many other significant people living in Balandria. I really, really wonder how Eidan will cope.
One more thing – I’ve just noticed another parallel that I love, and it’s Eidan and Jenna both starting their situation in their own room, lonely with no-one to talk about and incredibly sad about losing the other. It seems like they’re those star-crossed lovers I sometimes read about, just like Caelum and Celeste. Sometimes I wonder if Caelum and Celeste possessing their bodies is, in some way, responsible for them falling in love with each other. But on the other hand, their love seems to be so pure that it’s hard to believe that it’s nothing but a copy of a godly love.
Anyway, I wonder what’s going to happen to Jenna and Eidan when they’re reunited. Will Jenna be furious, or will she understand Eidan’s situation and the reason why he left? How long will he leave before he’ll come back? Or are you going to end on such a heartbreaking cliffhanger that Eidan won’t return anymore? That would certainly be a big surprise, but again, a rather big part of me just hopes that you’ll make Jenna and Eidan live happily ever after at the end of the story. In the end, it’s you who decides, and I can’t wait to find out what will be in part six, because it’ll certainly be very clever! After all my speculation, I am still completely in the dark.

I loved this chapter, and the amount of characters is truly OVER NINE THOUSAND in this review. Hope you enjoyed it! Post your next chapter soon _ Hope your birthday was gre

10/18/2012 c48 2CieloRayn
Great chapter! I loved the feeling you put into this chapter. I could really feel her anger and grief and I just wanted to throw things too lol. I think she may be *cough cough* pregnant! lol I don't know just the way you describe how she is feelings P it gives off that impression. Also happy early birthday lol.