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10/27/2010 c3 Moody
I like the italics, I don't know ENTIRELY what they mean yet, but I undersatnd most of them. Do you use them to foreshadow? Anyway, this chapter was very interesting, I want to know what kind of creature he was... That's just a guess, that he is the same sort of creature as from the begging of the story. Sorry, I usually don't talk so much. And you know what? I usually don't like romances at all, but because it was by you, I read it anyway. And so far, it's my kind of story. ;)
10/27/2010 c1 4Frayling0
Wow... new story :) Seems very dark and vivid so far... I shall have to read more to get more of a feel for it, but definitely interesting so far! I love the mystery you've created by not naming the characters - and you hint at lots of back story to come! ~ Luke
10/27/2010 c2 v-n-ll-y
The start was really good. You really built up Jenna's character very well. It's hard to make a character seem obstinate rather than just outright spoilt, but I think you managed to capture that here quite well. The comparisons between Jenna and her mother were a nice touch to show the contrast between their characters. There were also some good descriptions for Eidan's appearance too. His character seems more passive and humble, but he seems to be a good friend to Jenna. It's also interesting how Jenna likes the light whereas Eidan prefers the shadows; it's a good character contrast and it'll be interesting to see the basis on which their relationship was formed.


10/26/2010 c1 v-n-ll-y
Oh wow. Right from the start there was awesome scene building. Good use of imagery to create a very bleak atmosphere. I like how it was written overall. The characters seem to have had a colourful history without telling the reader too much at the start. Great potential. It's also interesting how the characters aren't named yet. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but I think it works well here.


10/26/2010 c2 2liverwurstrocks27
This is also pretty good! So this is months before they were to be burnt . I really wanna know why! Please update soon!
10/26/2010 c1 This Account is Inactive
I love the title especially. Everytime you come out with a new story, I always HAVE to read it. :)
10/26/2010 c1 45kneat
Latin words= 3

Just as this story does, actually.

I really do love your writing style. It makes such an impact, but isn't overly flowery in any way.

You described the scene very well, and I love how you make the characters just reminisce at first, to get their minds off the situation.

I really feel his anger and resentment at letting his love come with him on this dangerous thing, whatever it was, and I hope to get the backstory soon!

Her character is so touching to me, the way she's just glad to be together with him, even they're going to die.

If they do somehow survive this, I really want to see how their relationship proceeds!
10/26/2010 c2 13Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu
Okay, I can actually say that this chapter is an improvement from the previous one. Not that I dislike the starting chapter anyway. Okay, so here in this chapter, you did really well in relaying Jenna's emotions upon the arranged marriage and being with Eidan as well. I think all in all, this chapter is all about Jenna, which makes me suspect that this story will be solely based on her POV. Can you confirm with me on this count? Also her fear of darkness is pretty much interesting, which I believe you will make it into a vital part of her character and the plot. I'm looking forward to seeing where this aspect of her character will go. :) On Eidan, to be honest I don't know anything about him, but the ending statements really invoked a strong curiosity in me on his character, so good for you here. I'd wish that I can get to know more about him in this chapter though and I don't just mean the ending words. All in all a good job here. I will see what you can do next. :)
10/26/2010 c1 Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu
You know one thing? Originally I planned to review The Unwanted when the update popped up in my email inbox, but I just delayed everything due to my laziness and now, ironically you wanted reviews for that one to be paused temporarily. Anyway, since you ask for reviews on this one, I'll gladly oblige. :) Okay first things first this is a strong chapter where nobody knows what will happen next despite an apparent death looming. I like the character interactions here albeit I feel that you could have insert their names in this starting chapter right from the bat. The conversations have a romantic vibe in them, but yet it's not corny at all, so I'll have to give you props on this one especially since I've got the tendency to do corny lines. If there's anything I can suggest in improving, it will be the fact that you could have done more on exploring the male character's POV while letting your female character having a certain show of emotions within her. Also you might need to do some hints on the cause and effect of their current plight. Apart from that, nothing much to say here. Onto the next chapter. :)
10/26/2010 c1 11berley
I am going to say right away, I was really impressed with how you started this chapter out. You didn’t give very much information away, but instead just slowly gave hints and introduced new facts and it worked really well. I especially liked how you established the relationship between these two characters. You don’t know a lot about them, and have not seen a lot of interaction, but little things like him squeezing her hand told me so much already. I could tell they were close before you said they were childhood friends.

The ending did fall a little bit flat for me, but only a little. It just didn’t interest me as much as the first part of the chapter did. Other then that, great start. You’ve got me hooked.

Review reply from The Roadhouse.
10/26/2010 c1 1Eiya Weathes
Well first of all, the title itself is very eye-catching. Seriously, I didn't know what the word meant until you mentioned it.

Moving on...

It's a beautiful start. Intriguing without giving the entire thing away, emotional but just enough to not turn it into a melodrama, and mysterious but not too vague that I didn't get anything.

Overall, a splendid job. :)

- Amethyst Penn

This review is sponsored by The Roadhouse and the story, "Of the Hot and of the Random". Ciao.
10/26/2010 c1 28Robin Leigh
A lovely start! I like it. :D Heehee, I hope I get to go back into my old stories too, and continue them.
10/26/2010 c1 2liverwurstrocks27
Very descriptive . Judging from what I've read now it is kind of vague but I hope it gets clearer in the next chapters update soon
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