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12/9/2012 c51 CharilMZ

That's what was wrong with Jenna at the end of chapter 48, isn't it! She wasn't just sick. It was morning sickness. And Vincent has... just seen his father, hasn't he :) That's what Eidan did when he was consumed by the darkness, what Mana and Zeph didn't want to tell him about, why Jenna seems to have suffered some sort of PTSD because of him- aah! You tease me like this, letting one nugget of information slip and then leaving it on a cliffhanger!

Anyway. As cruel as this sounds, I really love what Lucan has become. It's so tragic haha. I loved the juxtaposition between him and Eidan in the fight scene, even just from the language that you use you get a sense of how much Eidan has come into his own and how Lucan seems to just keep spiralling further and further. I never would've pegged Lucan as anything other than a romantic rival from the start, but he's up there with Ethel now as one of the creepiest characters in the story. I like it :)

And now to sit on my hands until the next one is finished
12/9/2012 c51 teen-emotions
So what wait?! Vincent is Eidan and Jenna's son? Oh my lord!
12/9/2012 c51 3thenutrunningthenuthouse
[Perhaps it was time she stopped secluding herself indoors.


Jenna wished she stayed in the airship.]
hah, I love this transition. I try these occasionally in my writing, and they're so snappy. Love it. Oh, and love Zeph braiding Mana's hair. Poor friendzoned fool.

F***** Lucan, of course! Let's be a d-bag and ambush Jenna. Jerk. *in Obi Wan Kenobi's voice* I LOVED YOU!

Wha...what-what...WHEN DID JENNA HAVE A KID?

I barely remember him mentioned in the fight and it occurred to me that he looked like Eidan, but what? When did he and Jenna have sex? Is it not his kid? Is it even her kid? Gahh, what's going on? Who's kid is this? (I'm still guessing Jenna and Eidan's...)

Jeez Louise, you have some twists here! Lucan is still completely insane, Eidan and Lucan are fighting equals, and Jenna and Eidan had a kid. Hah, you should've seen how confused I was when I heard Vincent's name. I was seriously thinking who the hell is that?

Whew, crazy chapter. This story is great, and the twists just keep mounting and mounting. Can't wait to see where you lead us next and trust me, I'm a willing passenger through the ride (and congratulations on managing to continue such a long work). :)
12/7/2012 c50 DutchAver
First of all, sorry for the ridiculously long wait :( I guess I'm always busy.
That being said, WHAT?! You killed off Celeste? You couldn't, not so close to the ending anyway! :( Her death was absolutely heartbreaking and I was deeply touched by her saying goodbye to Caelum, considering how, earlier on, they were making love and being happy andsoforth. Talking about a cottage, even. Heartbreaking.
The only thing I find odd is that Jenna doesn't seem to have any vengeful feelings towards Lucan. She just basically watched a good friend with a body identical to her own die because of Lucan, but I don't really see her being angry about it and that kind of tempers the realism, unfortunately.
But yay, Eidan is back! And Jenna will probably hate him to bits. One thing I found unclear: did he just kill off Grace? It doesn't seem so, but...
Anyways, update soon!
12/6/2012 c1 A. Nonymous1234
I love the poem at the start of the chapter. That is really creative, and it adds a nice touch to the story, as well as the footer at the end. You have an excellent hook for the chapter, it pulls the reader right in. Mistakes are few from what I've seen, and the descriptive words are beautiful. I don't have much time right now, but I will read all of it, I promise!
12/5/2012 c5 83Deserthawk
Ooh Goddess of Light and God of Darkness... I think I see where this is going. They're supposed to be symbolic of Eidan and Jenna maybe? I liked that tale. How there were two different sides to it. I'm liking Grace too,her attitude. Just the way she tore down that play XD
It's an interesting parallel too, how Grace seemed to heal Eidan's sun problem, and then Jenna with Lucan's moon sickness. But if this was going to be Jenna/Lucan, we wouldn't have a story, lol. Again Lucan doesn't seem like such a bad dude, also he doesn't seem to be in on this Eidan plot or how he might be related to that dark kingdom... strange.
I was waiting for the pairs to meet up, haha. I'm sure it'll happen later. I wonder if Eidan will fall for Grace... I like them together better, actually. At this point. I wish he would hurry up and remember more.
(PS. 'light and darkness can never meet.' This made me think. What about a solar eclipse?)
12/3/2012 c1 1diannewinter
Oh wow! I love this! This is so beautifully written, such a balance between telling and showing. I enjoy the characters and I'm drawn into the story line. It arouses my interest to learn what happened. Very good start! I'm going to read further
12/2/2012 c4 83Deserthawk
(...I was wondering if we could both disguise ourselves as peasants and attend it-" "No.") XD Way to shoot down that trope.
Love - quadrangle? Haha, this is gonna be good.
The prince actually seems pretty nice to me. I mean, compared to the usual 'arranged' marriage prince. That's weird, when Eiden shook his hand he remembered. Plus he looks kind of like Eiden too. So maybe Lucan is the same type of thing as Eiden and Grace? Hm. Maybe Eiden is some kind of royalty too? Except his kingdom's all destroyed. So maybe they sent him there as some kind of plan... to save it. I like how your story keeps making me want to speculate.
I like your descriptions, as usual. Especially how you describe royal things, like that carriage. Also people - I get a nice idea of how they look, without being bombarded by details. Jenna was cute.
12/2/2012 c3 Deserthawk
Hm, the italics. They seem like the 'darkness' speaking to Eidan in this chapter, more maybe more specifically that girl. It's strange how she looks like Jenna... maybe's she Jenna from like - the future? Or an alternate Jenna. When Eidan/someone ends up turning her into 'something'. /end crazy speculation.
That dream sequence was cool. Although it seemed more than a dream, right? I'm glad we're hearing about Eidan's past right off. I think the King is a pretty good guy, saving him despite his suspicions.
The forest. I'm guessing that's where the 'dark' things live. Maybe they're using Eidan to infiltrate the castle?
Also, Jenna is totally coming on to him IMO. Love triangle anyone?
12/1/2012 c2 Deserthawk
Oh look, you've persuaded me to read a romance. Heh, that shows it's well-written. Very clever, to make the whole story a flashback. It's interesting they would decide to burn a princess... makes me very curious about what she -did-.
Er, I just hope Eidan's not a - vampire or something. Not sure if I could handle that. But whatever fits the story, I suppose. I wonder what little thing he made... you sure do a good job with all these cliff-hangers.
I think it's kind of funny, that Jenna wants to be treated like an adult when she's so childish. She gets a bit on my nerves right now, really. I hope she toughens up. But overall she doesn't seem bratty deep inside, just spoiled/unrealistic about the world. As expected with a princess, I guess.
I like the poems again. Still not sure exactly what they are... but those bold phrases are effective. At conveying - inner emotions? Cool effect.
12/1/2012 c1 Deserthawk
Oh damn. That was a good intro, right there. Gotta keep reading.
I'm really feeling for the two main character right now. Even though I don't know their names or - anything. So good job there.
I'm imagining she's maybe a witch or something? But I don't want to make any assumptions right now... I like how they're still squabbling when they're about to die, haha. God, I hope they get out of this somehow.
Your description is cool. Especially the night sky. That was beautiful.
I also liked those poems at the beginning and end. It's interesting how you don't use capitalization... and the bolded sentences. It does convey something. I'll have to think about it more.
12/1/2012 c1 2AJ 96
This was an intense first chapter! The descriptions were well-done and the plot is intriguing and makes me want to read more! :) I liked it when they held hands and how he said 'love' - that was really cute! :)

The transition that you made from acceptance to denial and anger was well-written. I couldn't find and errors and I think that overall, this is a fantastic beginning to your story :) I'm definitely going to keep reading! :P
12/1/2012 c8 9Highway Unicorn
I like the internal war Eidan is fighting practically on his own. Grace doesn't seem to be that much help in comforting him, so that's why I say on his own. Anyway, it's a good aspect and a good character development. I find it sad though that he's not confiding in Jenna, but I guess that's just to protect her...and I suppose telling somebody "HEY THERE. I just have these feelings that make me wanna kill ya, so yeah... We good?" XD

[Years of experience had thought Jenna...] "...had taught Jenna..."

Ewwww. If somebody asked me about making babies on my 17th bday, I would flip out. That must suck for Jenna D: And Lucan doesn't seem so happy in the baby making department either.

Damn! Lacie gots some powers doesn't she? Does Lucan have special abilites as well?

OOOOOOO I like your ending, with Caelum taking over! That was a good twist ending! :D Next chapter must be awesome! :D

Your stories action/ intense drama is comming along nicely!
11/21/2012 c50 3CieloRayn
Very sad chapter (. I liked the heart warming part with Caelum and Celeste. It sucks that they had planned a future and she dies. Still great chapter lol.
11/15/2012 c50 teen-emotions
This was such a sad chapter :(

R.I.P Celeste

So Eiden killed Grace? I never knew he could be so cruel.
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