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1/15/2011 c1 3Minicoolgirl12
Wow that's really nice.
1/12/2011 c2 13Hear As The Outcasts Hear
good scene. my only problem is when Veleno enters the bedchamber of Simonetta. I'm not sure what time period this takes place in exactly, but from what I can gather it's somewhat medieval. That being said, a man in an unmarried woman's bedchamber is a MAJOR no-no. especially if said lady is already in her night clothes. make sure you watch for things like that.
1/12/2011 c1 Hear As The Outcasts Hear
"for no matter how the wind howls, the mountain shall never bow to it"...is that from Mulan? try to stay away from metaphors used in popular movies and shows. it takes away from your work, because all I could think about in that line was the emperor.

Other than that, I like the old english styled language.

~MF
11/9/2010 c1 2jujuberry
Good nice cliffhanger I enjoy the way of their speech. keep writing you are pretty darn good
11/9/2010 c4 21Krystal Jo-Lynnelle
You have written the play well. I hope there shall be more chapters added soon. I enjoyed reading it!

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