for No Sunshine Tomorrow12/22/2013 c1 
12SomethingCreative-V1
Soooo sad. I hate when parents do that, beat their own kids. Anyway, thank you for the advice on my story. I edited so if you can, read over it again? Thank you though, it helps me become a better writer.
12SomethingCreative-V1Soooo sad. I hate when parents do that, beat their own kids. Anyway, thank you for the advice on my story. I edited so if you can, read over it again? Thank you though, it helps me become a better writer.
12/20/2013 c1 4HighOnBrokenWings
Great work. I do feel like throughout the middle piece of the work there may have been a slight too much repetition of the one line, but nothing that ruins the overall effect of the work. I really like how you captured the sense of blame, guilt and dread, rather than just the violence of a situation like this.
4HighOnBrokenWingsGreat work. I do feel like throughout the middle piece of the work there may have been a slight too much repetition of the one line, but nothing that ruins the overall effect of the work. I really like how you captured the sense of blame, guilt and dread, rather than just the violence of a situation like this.