for Branded12/24/2010 c3 
7Fakety Mcfakename
and the same to you. now, to review. This is a good premise, and i like the characters. you have some runon's you need to take care of, try reading the story before you publish it to make sure it flows well.i think i know where your going to go with this, about how we all die, and to live we have to just live in the moment and not waste time worrying about death, becuase then, like lily, we never live. top hole, very interesting setting to. it's not known where or when this is taking place, so that builds to the suspense, and you don't know who the "Undesirables" are either. much left to be uncovered. add more soon.
7Fakety Mcfakenameand the same to you. now, to review. This is a good premise, and i like the characters. you have some runon's you need to take care of, try reading the story before you publish it to make sure it flows well.i think i know where your going to go with this, about how we all die, and to live we have to just live in the moment and not waste time worrying about death, becuase then, like lily, we never live. top hole, very interesting setting to. it's not known where or when this is taking place, so that builds to the suspense, and you don't know who the "Undesirables" are either. much left to be uncovered. add more soon.
11/16/2010 c2 5soumiart
Nice. You have a couple of grammatical errors and a just a few typos. Do you use word when typing? Try using it and re-reading your story before entering it so it will be improved. But I liked the story; very original and addictive. =D
5soumiartNice. You have a couple of grammatical errors and a just a few typos. Do you use word when typing? Try using it and re-reading your story before entering it so it will be improved. But I liked the story; very original and addictive. =D
11/7/2010 c1 10Iris Musicia ft. Eliza Ghost
This is a really interesting story . . . you don't introduce Abby here (unless I missed it), so I'm supposing you'll introduce her next chapter? That would be an odd way to live . . . not wanting to get close to anybody, knowing how they will die . . . how did you come up with this? Pure genius.
10Iris Musicia ft. Eliza GhostThis is a really interesting story . . . you don't introduce Abby here (unless I missed it), so I'm supposing you'll introduce her next chapter? That would be an odd way to live . . . not wanting to get close to anybody, knowing how they will die . . . how did you come up with this? Pure genius.
11/7/2010 c1 MozillaR
I love your stories so far. This is one of my favorites. put the next chapter up soon!
I love your stories so far. This is one of my favorites. put the next chapter up soon!