for The Journey of Love, Secrets and Guilt4/16/2011 c14 PJ Draft
I actually love the new summary. I think it may capture a few readers that you might have missed. Anyways, another good chapter. I love the fact that you update quickly, because it really keeps me in the story. I wish I was on that will, he was pretty rich. Update soon! -PJ
I actually love the new summary. I think it may capture a few readers that you might have missed. Anyways, another good chapter. I love the fact that you update quickly, because it really keeps me in the story. I wish I was on that will, he was pretty rich. Update soon! -PJ
4/16/2011 c14 CrystalGW34
David sure had a lot of things. I wonder what John wanted to discuss in private with Mr. Holiday. Please write more soon. I look forward to reading more of this. :)
David sure had a lot of things. I wonder what John wanted to discuss in private with Mr. Holiday. Please write more soon. I look forward to reading more of this. :)
4/15/2011 c14 
7Novocaine for the Soul
Whoa he left them quite a bit. But I wonder where did David get all of his money? Wasn't he a detective like John or am I remembering wrong?
I liked the chapter and the new summary is interesting. Although it makes me wonder what's going to happen next. Good work, keep writing.
7Novocaine for the SoulWhoa he left them quite a bit. But I wonder where did David get all of his money? Wasn't he a detective like John or am I remembering wrong?
I liked the chapter and the new summary is interesting. Although it makes me wonder what's going to happen next. Good work, keep writing.
4/15/2011 c14 5ILveJcb
wow! what a will! He must have been extremely rich then huh?
Great chapter! keep writing! And i ike the new summary!
5ILveJcbwow! what a will! He must have been extremely rich then huh?
Great chapter! keep writing! And i ike the new summary!
4/10/2011 c13 PJ Draft
Hey there! Another cute chapter here. I am looking forward to the next chapter soon. I am not sure that I ever mentioned this before but you work very well with your characters you craft in your story. Their voices match with thier dialouge and reactions/actions etc. I simply love it. ;) New chapter soon I hope.
-PJ
Hey there! Another cute chapter here. I am looking forward to the next chapter soon. I am not sure that I ever mentioned this before but you work very well with your characters you craft in your story. Their voices match with thier dialouge and reactions/actions etc. I simply love it. ;) New chapter soon I hope.
-PJ
4/8/2011 c13 7Novocaine for the Soul
Aw that's great that John's mum is getting along so well with Gabriella. I hope that David didn't keep her hidden because of anything bad because that would hurt Naomi. I forget, did you mention if she knows if she's having a boy or a girl? Anyway update soon, I'm curious about Gabriella and what David wrote in his will.
7Novocaine for the SoulAw that's great that John's mum is getting along so well with Gabriella. I hope that David didn't keep her hidden because of anything bad because that would hurt Naomi. I forget, did you mention if she knows if she's having a boy or a girl? Anyway update soon, I'm curious about Gabriella and what David wrote in his will.
4/8/2011 c13 CrystalGW34
Glad to see that you posted a chapter. It seems like everyone is starting to warm to the idea of Gabriella and her baby. I wonder what things Gabriella has to reveal. Please post again soon, but no pressure. I enjoyed reading the chapter. :)
Glad to see that you posted a chapter. It seems like everyone is starting to warm to the idea of Gabriella and her baby. I wonder what things Gabriella has to reveal. Please post again soon, but no pressure. I enjoyed reading the chapter. :)
4/8/2011 c1 2MeZzeDUpGuRL
Actually, this review is for the summary you gave. Obviously, the summary is the tool to attract the hungry readers who scroll along the fictionpress page into clicking on the link of your story... So I suggest editing it, if you can, now. I mean, so far, your story has gotten a lot of reviews already, so I'm guessing your story is really interesting.
So I'm just saying, if you can edit your summary, you might get some more readers. Because it has some grammatical errors.
"John met an asian woman whose he left her behind and then he met another woman whose live in NY. A love triangle story of dramas, secrets, truths, hopes, happiness and love. Who will be the lucky girl whose win his heart and be part in his life forever?"
The first part is a bit confusing, don't you think? Besides, you keep saying 'whose'-which is actually a possessive pronoun used to find out which person something belongs to-instead of the correct word 'who'. And also, pay attention to your subject-verb agreement. :D
Hope this helped. ^_^
I'll be reading your story now.
2MeZzeDUpGuRLActually, this review is for the summary you gave. Obviously, the summary is the tool to attract the hungry readers who scroll along the fictionpress page into clicking on the link of your story... So I suggest editing it, if you can, now. I mean, so far, your story has gotten a lot of reviews already, so I'm guessing your story is really interesting.
So I'm just saying, if you can edit your summary, you might get some more readers. Because it has some grammatical errors.
"John met an asian woman whose he left her behind and then he met another woman whose live in NY. A love triangle story of dramas, secrets, truths, hopes, happiness and love. Who will be the lucky girl whose win his heart and be part in his life forever?"
The first part is a bit confusing, don't you think? Besides, you keep saying 'whose'-which is actually a possessive pronoun used to find out which person something belongs to-instead of the correct word 'who'. And also, pay attention to your subject-verb agreement. :D
Hope this helped. ^_^
I'll be reading your story now.
3/19/2011 c12 6Autumn Blaze
UPDATE ! YAY ! :D
I have no idea how you manage to update chapters regulary, I get so flustered and I panic, and when I do decide to write words decide to escape me and nothing comes to mind to write.
:D
Anyway, the chapter, amazing as always, short and sweet, I cant wait for the next chapter, no pressure :)
Sorry I haven't been able to answer any of your questions of my stories, :(
I'm not the biggest genius and I fail at figuring out how to use the email on here, plus my school email decides to not let me sign in so sometimes I don't know if someones sent me something.
Anyway, keep writing! Have fun! SMILE ! :D
6Autumn BlazeUPDATE ! YAY ! :D
I have no idea how you manage to update chapters regulary, I get so flustered and I panic, and when I do decide to write words decide to escape me and nothing comes to mind to write.
:D
Anyway, the chapter, amazing as always, short and sweet, I cant wait for the next chapter, no pressure :)
Sorry I haven't been able to answer any of your questions of my stories, :(
I'm not the biggest genius and I fail at figuring out how to use the email on here, plus my school email decides to not let me sign in so sometimes I don't know if someones sent me something.
Anyway, keep writing! Have fun! SMILE ! :D
3/18/2011 c12 39Raaawr Ima Dinosaur
This was great!
Naomi asked? wow! that's a suprise since it seemed as though she took the news the hardest!
great chapter i really enjoyed it! please update asap! :D
39Raaawr Ima DinosaurThis was great!
Naomi asked? wow! that's a suprise since it seemed as though she took the news the hardest!
great chapter i really enjoyed it! please update asap! :D
3/17/2011 c12 7Novocaine for the Soul
Oh wow Gabriella stopped by that's surprising. His mum called her? How did she find her?
The flashback was cute and I'm glad Meg and John meeting for coffee finally. Can't wait for the update.
Oh and I updated my story in case you wanted to read it.
7Novocaine for the SoulOh wow Gabriella stopped by that's surprising. His mum called her? How did she find her?
The flashback was cute and I'm glad Meg and John meeting for coffee finally. Can't wait for the update.
Oh and I updated my story in case you wanted to read it.
3/14/2011 c12 5ILveJcb
Hmm...short but very entertaining chapter! I am looking forward to reading about their meeting. Good job! Great chapter! Upload soon!
5ILveJcbHmm...short but very entertaining chapter! I am looking forward to reading about their meeting. Good job! Great chapter! Upload soon!
3/13/2011 c12 PJ Draft
Love this chapter! :D Also, I don't think I have ever mentioned it before, but you write very well! I can picture the characters and places in my mind. You have great skill. :) Anyways, I love this story and am looking forward to another update. -PJ
Love this chapter! :D Also, I don't think I have ever mentioned it before, but you write very well! I can picture the characters and places in my mind. You have great skill. :) Anyways, I love this story and am looking forward to another update. -PJ
3/13/2011 c12 CrystalGW34
I liked the flashback. I was a little surprised that Gabriella showed up at their house. I'm glad John and Meg are going to get together for coffee. I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter. :)
I liked the flashback. I was a little surprised that Gabriella showed up at their house. I'm glad John and Meg are going to get together for coffee. I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter. :)