for Love is a Bit Complicated for us Werewolves11/20/2010 c1 FluffyOne
Please update i want to see what happens and leslie seems um... slutty but i love him all the same
Please update i want to see what happens and leslie seems um... slutty but i love him all the same
11/18/2010 c1 
8Wade0112
Okay critiques first.
1.its "Once in wolf form, my senses took over and your logical mind was pushed into the subconscious. NOT: Once in wolf form my senses took over and your logical mind was pushed into the subconscious. There ere other sentences simliar to this mess up. JUst use more commas.
2." ,Ryke,..." NOT " ,Ryke..."
3."Its special scent made me go crazy it smelled like lavender and roses." I thought it was "made me go crazy. It smelled..." There are other sentences similar.
4."The cracking of bones during the change was always painful. You got used to it after awhile." These senteces don't make sense together.
5.'put the moves on him'? Use quotations.
6."I was just the omega wolf he hangs out with only because every male wolf anywhere would probably go for him except I was an omega and even though I was gay I didn't like seeing other dudes in skirts and he wouldn't date me because I piss him off sometimes." RUN-ON SENTENCE!
7. You misspelled hazel
8."tribewith"? Do you mean "tribe with"?
9.You mispelled wolf once.
10.You mispelled bronze
11. Ok, fine but now you will never get them be quite now." Add a "to"
Other than these things, it should be great. It was kinda hard to follow to.
8Wade0112Okay critiques first.
1.its "Once in wolf form, my senses took over and your logical mind was pushed into the subconscious. NOT: Once in wolf form my senses took over and your logical mind was pushed into the subconscious. There ere other sentences simliar to this mess up. JUst use more commas.
2." ,Ryke,..." NOT " ,Ryke..."
3."Its special scent made me go crazy it smelled like lavender and roses." I thought it was "made me go crazy. It smelled..." There are other sentences similar.
4."The cracking of bones during the change was always painful. You got used to it after awhile." These senteces don't make sense together.
5.'put the moves on him'? Use quotations.
6."I was just the omega wolf he hangs out with only because every male wolf anywhere would probably go for him except I was an omega and even though I was gay I didn't like seeing other dudes in skirts and he wouldn't date me because I piss him off sometimes." RUN-ON SENTENCE!
7. You misspelled hazel
8."tribewith"? Do you mean "tribe with"?
9.You mispelled wolf once.
10.You mispelled bronze
11. Ok, fine but now you will never get them be quite now." Add a "to"
Other than these things, it should be great. It was kinda hard to follow to.