for Saving Smiles5/30/2012 c40 
1Candescence
This story is so cute! you had me scared there for a bit when the article began to say that they were over. I loved it. It was a solid ending. I feel like it could be better in fact though. Throughout this whole story you had me longing and needing them to get together. It was drawn out a perfect amount of time. Great job
1CandescenceThis story is so cute! you had me scared there for a bit when the article began to say that they were over. I loved it. It was a solid ending. I feel like it could be better in fact though. Throughout this whole story you had me longing and needing them to get together. It was drawn out a perfect amount of time. Great job
5/30/2012 c8 Candescence
Christian is hot. haha, i didn't know he was a super hero. Yeah, i should have guessed with the first chapter's author's note of batman stuff and all. But, wow. haha, i want a mchale for myself
Christian is hot. haha, i didn't know he was a super hero. Yeah, i should have guessed with the first chapter's author's note of batman stuff and all. But, wow. haha, i want a mchale for myself
1/18/2012 c40 loveseekerXoX
I liked it, but it definitely had some flaws. I feel like you made both Andie and Christian TOO perfect, especially Christian, being that "superhero Shadow" and all. I feel like you just kind of cut Renita out of the story. You never really explained Renita's and Jessica's fight, and Andie and Renita never even had a fight! Andie just stopped talking to Renita because Jessica was angry! Renita made no attempts to rectify the situation, and that seems unlikely to me considering how long you say they've been best friends.
However, the story was well written, with good dialouge, great grammar, and it generally had a good word flow and word choice. The plot could use a few small adjustments, but overall, I would say that it was a good read.
I liked it, but it definitely had some flaws. I feel like you made both Andie and Christian TOO perfect, especially Christian, being that "superhero Shadow" and all. I feel like you just kind of cut Renita out of the story. You never really explained Renita's and Jessica's fight, and Andie and Renita never even had a fight! Andie just stopped talking to Renita because Jessica was angry! Renita made no attempts to rectify the situation, and that seems unlikely to me considering how long you say they've been best friends.
However, the story was well written, with good dialouge, great grammar, and it generally had a good word flow and word choice. The plot could use a few small adjustments, but overall, I would say that it was a good read.
12/19/2011 c40 113teen
I love this story! It's adorable and I loved the way some of the 'Batman' storyline was worked in, because I love Batman!
But this is fantastic, it made me laugh and cry! :)
113teenI love this story! It's adorable and I loved the way some of the 'Batman' storyline was worked in, because I love Batman!
But this is fantastic, it made me laugh and cry! :)
11/29/2011 c40 use.less.woman
I like the story, but i am seeing a pattern here. the last two main characters i have read of your stories were very similar and i am guessing they are probably close to who you are. i bet you love starbucks hot chocolate and not wasting paper and joel mchale. i dont think you were the most creative in the names of the characters and there was one part where the christian is giving a speach and it sounds word for word like the one that was given in the other story with the british guys.
but if i had not just finished reading the other story then i would have probably been super impressed by the story. i think you have a way of creating men that we love to fall in love with. i really liked the main character in this story. i think she was a bit more ballsy than the other stories i have read. all in all i think it was a great take on the batman story. i wish the real batman movies had this kind of ending. i heart christian bale too.
i hope this doesnt discourage you. i actually like your style. i jsut felt like i should be honest. if you want to discuss you are more than welcome to pm me. i would love to talk it over.
I like the story, but i am seeing a pattern here. the last two main characters i have read of your stories were very similar and i am guessing they are probably close to who you are. i bet you love starbucks hot chocolate and not wasting paper and joel mchale. i dont think you were the most creative in the names of the characters and there was one part where the christian is giving a speach and it sounds word for word like the one that was given in the other story with the british guys.
but if i had not just finished reading the other story then i would have probably been super impressed by the story. i think you have a way of creating men that we love to fall in love with. i really liked the main character in this story. i think she was a bit more ballsy than the other stories i have read. all in all i think it was a great take on the batman story. i wish the real batman movies had this kind of ending. i heart christian bale too.
i hope this doesnt discourage you. i actually like your style. i jsut felt like i should be honest. if you want to discuss you are more than welcome to pm me. i would love to talk it over.
11/3/2011 c9 2Kitty Howell
Dancing in the rain if awfully cute, but again, awfully cliche.
They seem very open with each other. I wonder what Christian will do in response to what Andie said...And I wonder if Andie will be effected at all by what Christian said...
2Kitty HowellDancing in the rain if awfully cute, but again, awfully cliche.
They seem very open with each other. I wonder what Christian will do in response to what Andie said...And I wonder if Andie will be effected at all by what Christian said...
11/3/2011 c8 Kitty Howell
FINALLY! Something more with this super hero thing. Though small, it was much appreciated. Though I'm wondering if I'm ever going to see any action or anything other than some mentioning. I'm still feeling like this part of the story doesn't matter, and if it doesn't, why write it?
Stupid Pat...Though interesting for the story. The moment of pretending to be her boyfriend is kinda cliche, but kinda cute. I hope she goes on that walk...
FINALLY! Something more with this super hero thing. Though small, it was much appreciated. Though I'm wondering if I'm ever going to see any action or anything other than some mentioning. I'm still feeling like this part of the story doesn't matter, and if it doesn't, why write it?
Stupid Pat...Though interesting for the story. The moment of pretending to be her boyfriend is kinda cliche, but kinda cute. I hope she goes on that walk...
11/3/2011 c7 Kitty Howell
So many bitches in one chapter...
Andie giving her honest opinion is always nice to see, and her having to sing would be hilarious!
So many bitches in one chapter...
Andie giving her honest opinion is always nice to see, and her having to sing would be hilarious!
10/29/2011 c6 Kitty Howell
Okay, so, at the beginning there was a note about this story being loosely based on another story. I checked it out and I only read the first chapter because I'm not big on OC's but I started reading this because I love Super Heroes, especially Batman and Christian's background kinda reminded me of him. And I was at first very excited but nothing was happening with that angle. I didn't even catch a hint of them having a super hero and master villain in their city and then suddenly she's reading this newspaper article and the names Shadow and Enigma are suddenly being thrown into the mix of the story. I feel like that angle of the story just came out of nowhere, kinda like you wanted to spice the story up more and decided to do that. Even after you introduced the names with the incident, I feel like if people didn't know what the story was suppose to be about, they would be lost because the super hero/villain names wasn't explained. It was just kinda...there.
I laughed at the dancer things and am now thinking of Cher and Christina...
Okay, so, at the beginning there was a note about this story being loosely based on another story. I checked it out and I only read the first chapter because I'm not big on OC's but I started reading this because I love Super Heroes, especially Batman and Christian's background kinda reminded me of him. And I was at first very excited but nothing was happening with that angle. I didn't even catch a hint of them having a super hero and master villain in their city and then suddenly she's reading this newspaper article and the names Shadow and Enigma are suddenly being thrown into the mix of the story. I feel like that angle of the story just came out of nowhere, kinda like you wanted to spice the story up more and decided to do that. Even after you introduced the names with the incident, I feel like if people didn't know what the story was suppose to be about, they would be lost because the super hero/villain names wasn't explained. It was just kinda...there.
I laughed at the dancer things and am now thinking of Cher and Christina...
10/29/2011 c5 Kitty Howell
I like how Andie handled things in the elevator. And I'm loving the scenes between her and Chris.
It's so interesting to see Andie uncomfortable and the fact that she does what to get along with people. I'm loving all the sides I'm getting to see. And also that she's so modest. Most people would be thrilled with the office and the personal assistant. And damn, Marissa probably has a stressful job. Helping EVERYONE. I bet everyone likes her that. She seems eager to please and rather cute.
I like how Andie handled things in the elevator. And I'm loving the scenes between her and Chris.
It's so interesting to see Andie uncomfortable and the fact that she does what to get along with people. I'm loving all the sides I'm getting to see. And also that she's so modest. Most people would be thrilled with the office and the personal assistant. And damn, Marissa probably has a stressful job. Helping EVERYONE. I bet everyone likes her that. She seems eager to please and rather cute.
10/27/2011 c4 Kitty Howell
I seriously love Andie. She's kinda hardcore without all the fake plastering of clothes and haircuts and stuff. And though she's feisty, she also seems very caring towards her friends by being willing to do things for them.
The lack of scene separation confused me. O.o
Okay, Andie might wanna hold her tongue more often! Doesn't she know receptionists have say so's and are generally asked for their opinion of people? Not that she wasn't exactly right...The woman kinda came off as...bitchy but doesn't really know it.
The last line of this cracked me up, though!
I just noticed I've been commenting and not really saying how I feel about chapter as a whole. Sorry...Your writing is very good and I like the characters and the plot so far as well. The only thing that bothers me is, again, the lack of scene separation.
Oh, and also, just to tell you: When I have a lot to say about a story, like yours, I write my reviews while I'm reading the chapter so I don't miss anything...I separate the things I talk about and I tend to number them. I haven't done so yet, but I feel like I might start without realizing it.
Anywho, awesome chappy. It's 1:36 and I have to get to bed. I'll try and get back to and review this tomorrow. And check out your other stories as well. :D
I seriously love Andie. She's kinda hardcore without all the fake plastering of clothes and haircuts and stuff. And though she's feisty, she also seems very caring towards her friends by being willing to do things for them.
The lack of scene separation confused me. O.o
Okay, Andie might wanna hold her tongue more often! Doesn't she know receptionists have say so's and are generally asked for their opinion of people? Not that she wasn't exactly right...The woman kinda came off as...bitchy but doesn't really know it.
The last line of this cracked me up, though!
I just noticed I've been commenting and not really saying how I feel about chapter as a whole. Sorry...Your writing is very good and I like the characters and the plot so far as well. The only thing that bothers me is, again, the lack of scene separation.
Oh, and also, just to tell you: When I have a lot to say about a story, like yours, I write my reviews while I'm reading the chapter so I don't miss anything...I separate the things I talk about and I tend to number them. I haven't done so yet, but I feel like I might start without realizing it.
Anywho, awesome chappy. It's 1:36 and I have to get to bed. I'll try and get back to and review this tomorrow. And check out your other stories as well. :D