for bad poetry1/24/2011 c18 
78Insanity Streak
This had me laughing so much. The consistent rhyming, randomness and just the chaos contained within the poem had me holding onto my stomach. Some of the events made me think about myself, like running into a lampost haha.
It's great to see a less serious poem in this collection for I think I haven't seen one like this in a while.
Great job and I can't wait for the next one.
78Insanity StreakThis had me laughing so much. The consistent rhyming, randomness and just the chaos contained within the poem had me holding onto my stomach. Some of the events made me think about myself, like running into a lampost haha.
It's great to see a less serious poem in this collection for I think I haven't seen one like this in a while.
Great job and I can't wait for the next one.
1/5/2011 c14 3culture clash
i. love. that. book.
((but i may like valiant
by the same author
better.))
3culture clashi. love. that. book.
((but i may like valiant
by the same author
better.))
1/5/2011 c4 culture clash
reminds me how much i -hate- war. i can't see the point of it. probably 'cause i'm just one person with no ambitions. XD
reminds me how much i -hate- war. i can't see the point of it. probably 'cause i'm just one person with no ambitions. XD
1/5/2011 c2 culture clash
very good! made me feel cheerful and reminiscent. wild nights are the best.
very good! made me feel cheerful and reminiscent. wild nights are the best.
12/23/2010 c17 78Insanity Streak
This is great! Particularly the first couple lines. Made me laugh so hard. But even though I found them hilarious, there is a deeper meaning to them. I really liked how you italicised the three words in line four and bunched them together- I don't know whty but it makes me think that those words are being coughed out with discreetness (if that's even a word, lol) Still, its catchy in a way. I really liked the last three lines also because it's flaunting the responsibility they wanted you to have when you were younger but now they don't want you to have it anymore.
Also, I really liked this poem as it rhymed :D I think I was in the mood for a rhyming poem, lol.
Still, great poem, I love it. :D
78Insanity StreakThis is great! Particularly the first couple lines. Made me laugh so hard. But even though I found them hilarious, there is a deeper meaning to them. I really liked how you italicised the three words in line four and bunched them together- I don't know whty but it makes me think that those words are being coughed out with discreetness (if that's even a word, lol) Still, its catchy in a way. I really liked the last three lines also because it's flaunting the responsibility they wanted you to have when you were younger but now they don't want you to have it anymore.
Also, I really liked this poem as it rhymed :D I think I was in the mood for a rhyming poem, lol.
Still, great poem, I love it. :D
12/22/2010 c16 Insanity Streak
personally, not as good as some of the other poems in this collection, but it's not bad. There are some really great lines in here such as: "her fingers are trapeze artists, poised to fly!" and "a light fingered scavenger" I could go on but anyway...
On with the constructive criticism! Please capitalize your letters after a full stop- it makes your writing look more sophisticated. Also in some spots I think maybe a fullstop or something of the like would of been better than the sentence to continue of for three or four lines. In my opinion, I think shorter sentences would of been more appropriate than longer sentences. If you were trying to get a sort of tension within this poem, shorter sentences would of sufficed. If you meant for a different tone of voice for the poem, ignore what I just said!
Also: she's an amazon hunting
stalking the woods with gleaming wet skin
This bit does't make much sense to me, really. I was thinking about it and it it meant to be something like this (with grammer and punctuation included)
she's an amazon- hunting,
stalking the woods- with gleaming wet skin (and continues on)
Is that what it's meant to be? because if not, I don't really know how to read that part in my head. It just doesn't sound gramatically correct. Or are you saying she is an amazon hunter?
Anyway, good poem. Can't wait for your next update and I hope you have a great Chirstmas. :)
personally, not as good as some of the other poems in this collection, but it's not bad. There are some really great lines in here such as: "her fingers are trapeze artists, poised to fly!" and "a light fingered scavenger" I could go on but anyway...
On with the constructive criticism! Please capitalize your letters after a full stop- it makes your writing look more sophisticated. Also in some spots I think maybe a fullstop or something of the like would of been better than the sentence to continue of for three or four lines. In my opinion, I think shorter sentences would of been more appropriate than longer sentences. If you were trying to get a sort of tension within this poem, shorter sentences would of sufficed. If you meant for a different tone of voice for the poem, ignore what I just said!
Also: she's an amazon hunting
stalking the woods with gleaming wet skin
This bit does't make much sense to me, really. I was thinking about it and it it meant to be something like this (with grammer and punctuation included)
she's an amazon- hunting,
stalking the woods- with gleaming wet skin (and continues on)
Is that what it's meant to be? because if not, I don't really know how to read that part in my head. It just doesn't sound gramatically correct. Or are you saying she is an amazon hunter?
Anyway, good poem. Can't wait for your next update and I hope you have a great Chirstmas. :)
12/20/2010 c15 Insanity Streak
I really enjoyed the artsy/ crafty theme of this poem- how original! First line has to be the best line of it all; flimsy, bendy, glued-on proof- I love it! very interesting poem and your writing is improving very well in consideration to both the topic and the writing style. *thumbs up* Can't wait for your next poem. Also, small piece of advice: you should change "bad poetry" to "awesome poetry," in my opinion. :D
I really enjoyed the artsy/ crafty theme of this poem- how original! First line has to be the best line of it all; flimsy, bendy, glued-on proof- I love it! very interesting poem and your writing is improving very well in consideration to both the topic and the writing style. *thumbs up* Can't wait for your next poem. Also, small piece of advice: you should change "bad poetry" to "awesome poetry," in my opinion. :D
12/20/2010 c14 Insanity Streak
This is another poem i have enjoyed reading in this collection. "Javelin eyelids"- such creative imagery. Every single line is awesome except the first one. I'm not sure why but it just doesn't sit as well as some of the other lines do. Still, very good work.
Also, I'm not sure, but is Tithe a story about faries? Plus I hope your interview went well.
Can't wait for the next poem. :)
This is another poem i have enjoyed reading in this collection. "Javelin eyelids"- such creative imagery. Every single line is awesome except the first one. I'm not sure why but it just doesn't sit as well as some of the other lines do. Still, very good work.
Also, I'm not sure, but is Tithe a story about faries? Plus I hope your interview went well.
Can't wait for the next poem. :)
12/15/2010 c13 78Insanity Streak
I really liked the line: so cast me down into your pit of alchemy- really creative.
Good luck with your job interview tomorrow :)
Can't wait for the next update.
78Insanity StreakI really liked the line: so cast me down into your pit of alchemy- really creative.
Good luck with your job interview tomorrow :)
Can't wait for the next update.
12/14/2010 c12 Insanity Streak
I think the best ones in this collection were: Intro, Let Go, I'm Starving and The Anarchist. They were so descriptive and some of the lines are so clever especially within teh first one and how you described the way death stuttered and slept- I love it!
The other poems in the collection don't really appeal to me on the same level that the poems I adore, did; but some still very intersting ideas especially 'after her mother.'
Can't wait for the next update in your colelction.
I think the best ones in this collection were: Intro, Let Go, I'm Starving and The Anarchist. They were so descriptive and some of the lines are so clever especially within teh first one and how you described the way death stuttered and slept- I love it!
The other poems in the collection don't really appeal to me on the same level that the poems I adore, did; but some still very intersting ideas especially 'after her mother.'
Can't wait for the next update in your colelction.
11/28/2010 c7 1dropping dew
Well I can tell you like to experiment! But really that's a good thing, because a lot of the poems in this collection I thought were really insightful. I'm not so sure how I feel about numbers 3 and 4, but the others I thought worked very well with their individual styles. The fifth one especially really made me pause and just reflect on the way you had written the poem. I look forward to more!
1dropping dewWell I can tell you like to experiment! But really that's a good thing, because a lot of the poems in this collection I thought were really insightful. I'm not so sure how I feel about numbers 3 and 4, but the others I thought worked very well with their individual styles. The fifth one especially really made me pause and just reflect on the way you had written the poem. I look forward to more!