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5/16/2011 c1 21songbirdalice
The structure needs to be fixed. It's bugging me haha. The idea is good and I have a feeling this is an older one. You should rewrite it. I know you have better vocabulary now then you used to have.
1/4/2011 c1 11MentalBrink
Not bad, but it kinda looks like you wrote a paragraph and then broke it up into the shape of a poem. I believe I see what the darkness is, and what you don't want to see.

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