for Chances12/2/2010 c1 Music's Pet
I find this poem to be an uplifting piece. It appears to me to be an account of new chances. Although people all do things we are not so proud of 'hidden is black', there is a chance for the slate to be wiped clean as some may say 'bright is clear.' I find the structure of the poem to be very different :) but also extremely unique and original and gives the reader a sense of anticipation at the end wondering where the rest of the poem is, and also goes out with a bang 'she dances on the drum.' Over all i personaly connected to this poem and it moved me in a way. The only critisism i would have for this poet is you dont write enough.. keep up the good work chick.. looking forward to hearing more of your work :)
I find this poem to be an uplifting piece. It appears to me to be an account of new chances. Although people all do things we are not so proud of 'hidden is black', there is a chance for the slate to be wiped clean as some may say 'bright is clear.' I find the structure of the poem to be very different :) but also extremely unique and original and gives the reader a sense of anticipation at the end wondering where the rest of the poem is, and also goes out with a bang 'she dances on the drum.' Over all i personaly connected to this poem and it moved me in a way. The only critisism i would have for this poet is you dont write enough.. keep up the good work chick.. looking forward to hearing more of your work :)
11/27/2010 c1 
11HiddenFromYou
I feel this poem is disjointed for several reasons. One, the line breaks. You could have easily put your poem into stanzas with spaces between them and it would have been fine. As it is, the line breaks create a very choppy feeling. The first couple of verses are good, but they seem to get more and more random and more repetitive as they go one. A little focus and word uniqueness is needed.
I don't really get the ending either, as there doesn't seem to be much link between the final line and the rest of the poem.
-From the Review Marathon (check out the link in my profile)
11HiddenFromYouI feel this poem is disjointed for several reasons. One, the line breaks. You could have easily put your poem into stanzas with spaces between them and it would have been fine. As it is, the line breaks create a very choppy feeling. The first couple of verses are good, but they seem to get more and more random and more repetitive as they go one. A little focus and word uniqueness is needed.
I don't really get the ending either, as there doesn't seem to be much link between the final line and the rest of the poem.
-From the Review Marathon (check out the link in my profile)
11/26/2010 c1 12lianoid
Hmm, there were a couple of places where the rhythm wasn’t consistent that I didn’t enjoy because you had created a nice flow and suddenly it was altered. However, poetry isn’t my forte and I know how difficult writing within a certain structure can be, so no stress there.
I like how you formatted this, though. I think it lends nicely to the overall feel of the piece, the images and whatnot, so excellent work there.
Best of luck and happy writing!
Review courtesy of The Review Game’s Review Marathon. For more info, visit the link on my profile.
12lianoidHmm, there were a couple of places where the rhythm wasn’t consistent that I didn’t enjoy because you had created a nice flow and suddenly it was altered. However, poetry isn’t my forte and I know how difficult writing within a certain structure can be, so no stress there.
I like how you formatted this, though. I think it lends nicely to the overall feel of the piece, the images and whatnot, so excellent work there.
Best of luck and happy writing!
Review courtesy of The Review Game’s Review Marathon. For more info, visit the link on my profile.