for it was just another Junk Yard Sale, after all2/25/2011 c1 
4LuxAurorae
This was cute. It really makes you wonder about the thousands of stories that surround us without us even knowing. Very inspiring and appropriate for a writer.
4LuxAuroraeThis was cute. It really makes you wonder about the thousands of stories that surround us without us even knowing. Very inspiring and appropriate for a writer.
2/5/2011 c1 19Written In Red
That was actually very interesting, I liked how you turned a garage sale into something completely fascinating. I feel like I should say more but there's not anything to criticize and I was honestly just really really entertained. Keep thinking of clever concepts like that and you should have alot of followers.
19Written In RedThat was actually very interesting, I liked how you turned a garage sale into something completely fascinating. I feel like I should say more but there's not anything to criticize and I was honestly just really really entertained. Keep thinking of clever concepts like that and you should have alot of followers.
1/30/2011 c1 3ShortcakeMattie
Junk Yard Sales suddenly take on a new meaning. I really liked this piece and the attention you gave to each item for sale. You used simple words and diction making everything clear and easy to read. It was calming to read and had a bittersweet feel to it. I really like your writing style. Great job!
3ShortcakeMattieJunk Yard Sales suddenly take on a new meaning. I really liked this piece and the attention you gave to each item for sale. You used simple words and diction making everything clear and easy to read. It was calming to read and had a bittersweet feel to it. I really like your writing style. Great job!
12/31/2010 c1 1StoryMonster
Pretty expressive, and I totally love the whole point of it, you know?
In the beginning, you used the word random twice - maybe you should replace it with something else.
Other than that, great job.
=]
1StoryMonsterPretty expressive, and I totally love the whole point of it, you know?
In the beginning, you used the word random twice - maybe you should replace it with something else.
Other than that, great job.
=]
12/8/2010 c1 aBlackRainbow
I just read this, and I decided I should tell you how good it was. I dont normally comment, but your story was just really good, the ability to look at something boring and see the interesting beneath it.
So yeah, good job
I just read this, and I decided I should tell you how good it was. I dont normally comment, but your story was just really good, the ability to look at something boring and see the interesting beneath it.
So yeah, good job
12/7/2010 c1 6IfWeWereInLove
This is a really nice idea that you have.
Something that seems so useless and cheap to another may after all have some sort of great story or meaning behind it.
You accidently added two commas here-
... that it would be named Ted (after his deceased grandfather),
, that it would cause comfort when he,...
And you forgot to capitalize Full of random things..
I think that's about it. :]
It's a really good poem. The idea behind it is so sweet and truthful that we often forget to realize it when we go to a junk yard sale just searching for something useful with a good bargain :P
Anyway, good job!
And keep writing :)
6IfWeWereInLoveThis is a really nice idea that you have.
Something that seems so useless and cheap to another may after all have some sort of great story or meaning behind it.
You accidently added two commas here-
... that it would be named Ted (after his deceased grandfather),
, that it would cause comfort when he,...
And you forgot to capitalize Full of random things..
I think that's about it. :]
It's a really good poem. The idea behind it is so sweet and truthful that we often forget to realize it when we go to a junk yard sale just searching for something useful with a good bargain :P
Anyway, good job!
And keep writing :)
12/5/2010 c1 6Ezekiel Finch
Hi there!
There's a great deal of attention going on in this piece. There is no clear structure to the poem, it's all very experimental (bonus points!) to the point of being pedistrian. This is a simple story that is being communicated without the binds of a fixed syntactic structure. You are not forced to stick to a-b-a b-c-b or whatever poetic structure you can think of. It breaks away from the common and trite a-b-a-b structure and disregards all rules to extract the purest and untainted emotions.
Then this simple approach to the poem allows for an even simpler method of communication to the reader. There are no complex words that require me to dig out my dictionary and look it up. It's all common knowledge. This common-ness of the language matches the items of the yard sale. Everyone knows what it is and everyone has one, it just so happens that people like better and fancier words over the simple ones so they try to throw them out with the kitchen sink.
Finally we have a paste-together communication of the story without any indication of time. Did the events in the piece happen simultaniously or over a period of time? Readers are not sure, but what holds these events together is the common strand of the events happening in the same yard sale. A single thread connects all the pieces together giving this poem the flavor of a series that happens to be on one page. Diging even deeper, these very disparate events all occur in a single place much like how a person can find many items in a garage sale. These events seem to have no common connection but exist in the life giving garden of "a junk yard sale." Diffrent stages of life, diffrent events, diffrent backgrounds, and diffrent styles are all found in this junk yard sale. If we look long enough, we find even more stories and more tales to be told. As the poet, you get to tell us what we get to see.
So all in all, this was quite the read! I'm glad I picked this instead of the billions of "I love you so much but you broke up with me" poems.
Ezekiel Finch
6Ezekiel FinchHi there!
There's a great deal of attention going on in this piece. There is no clear structure to the poem, it's all very experimental (bonus points!) to the point of being pedistrian. This is a simple story that is being communicated without the binds of a fixed syntactic structure. You are not forced to stick to a-b-a b-c-b or whatever poetic structure you can think of. It breaks away from the common and trite a-b-a-b structure and disregards all rules to extract the purest and untainted emotions.
Then this simple approach to the poem allows for an even simpler method of communication to the reader. There are no complex words that require me to dig out my dictionary and look it up. It's all common knowledge. This common-ness of the language matches the items of the yard sale. Everyone knows what it is and everyone has one, it just so happens that people like better and fancier words over the simple ones so they try to throw them out with the kitchen sink.
Finally we have a paste-together communication of the story without any indication of time. Did the events in the piece happen simultaniously or over a period of time? Readers are not sure, but what holds these events together is the common strand of the events happening in the same yard sale. A single thread connects all the pieces together giving this poem the flavor of a series that happens to be on one page. Diging even deeper, these very disparate events all occur in a single place much like how a person can find many items in a garage sale. These events seem to have no common connection but exist in the life giving garden of "a junk yard sale." Diffrent stages of life, diffrent events, diffrent backgrounds, and diffrent styles are all found in this junk yard sale. If we look long enough, we find even more stories and more tales to be told. As the poet, you get to tell us what we get to see.
So all in all, this was quite the read! I'm glad I picked this instead of the billions of "I love you so much but you broke up with me" poems.
Ezekiel Finch
12/5/2010 c1 8Kobra Kid
This was great! I like how you made supposedly worthless items into life changing things. It was really great & people need to realize that. :) Keep on writing poetry! This one was fantastic! :D
-Kobra Kid
8Kobra KidThis was great! I like how you made supposedly worthless items into life changing things. It was really great & people need to realize that. :) Keep on writing poetry! This one was fantastic! :D
-Kobra Kid
12/5/2010 c1 5thefaultinourpatronus
Wow, great idea, this! Brilliantly depicted, amazingly how such small things can mean so much in the greater picture. I like the format in which you've written this. 'It was just another junk yard sale.' Awesome work.
x mandy
5thefaultinourpatronusWow, great idea, this! Brilliantly depicted, amazingly how such small things can mean so much in the greater picture. I like the format in which you've written this. 'It was just another junk yard sale.' Awesome work.
x mandy
11/30/2010 c1 99Dreamers-Requiem
I really enjoyed this - it had a kind of relaxing rhythm to it, which makes it fairly easy for the reader to fall into the poem, so to speak. Great job with that. The way you describe the objects is perfect - it's a very conversational tone, and I love the overall idea that any of these objects could be the catalyst for much bigger events. A great idea and brilliently written
99Dreamers-RequiemI really enjoyed this - it had a kind of relaxing rhythm to it, which makes it fairly easy for the reader to fall into the poem, so to speak. Great job with that. The way you describe the objects is perfect - it's a very conversational tone, and I love the overall idea that any of these objects could be the catalyst for much bigger events. A great idea and brilliently written
11/28/2010 c1 12lianoid
Ah, I love this piece. It has such a casual, relaxed vibe to it that really makes it easy to fall into. I especially enjoyed the third(?) stanza with the, “that would cause comfort when he,/you know,/came out of the closet.” That line right there is a perfect example of that vibe I mentioned. It’s the “you know” especially that gives it that great quality.
And I love how you describe the importance of each item but then at the end say it’s “only” such and such. Again, wonderful tone with that, and I think it gives the piece a really great structure and solidifies each stanza individually.
Great ending, of course. It all has a smugness to it that I really quite enjoyed. Each story was beautiful and I love how you told them in so few words while still making them impactful.
Brilliant piece all around.
Review courtesy of The Review Game’s Review Marathon. For more info, visit the link on my profile.
12lianoidAh, I love this piece. It has such a casual, relaxed vibe to it that really makes it easy to fall into. I especially enjoyed the third(?) stanza with the, “that would cause comfort when he,/you know,/came out of the closet.” That line right there is a perfect example of that vibe I mentioned. It’s the “you know” especially that gives it that great quality.
And I love how you describe the importance of each item but then at the end say it’s “only” such and such. Again, wonderful tone with that, and I think it gives the piece a really great structure and solidifies each stanza individually.
Great ending, of course. It all has a smugness to it that I really quite enjoyed. Each story was beautiful and I love how you told them in so few words while still making them impactful.
Brilliant piece all around.
Review courtesy of The Review Game’s Review Marathon. For more info, visit the link on my profile.