for Goodbye, Halcyon Days5/15/2011 c1 GoneAway-MightNotBeReturning
This is an eerie poem. I like it.
First off all:
The title...I just can't express how poetic I think 'goodbye, halcyon days' sounds to me.
Love the theme of the four seasons and the progression (from seduction, to abuse, and then death) of the italicised words in the last line of each paragraph.
That added a symbolic element to the poem + there are so many ways this poem can be interpreted.
It's beautiful.
Daphne
This is an eerie poem. I like it.
First off all:
The title...I just can't express how poetic I think 'goodbye, halcyon days' sounds to me.
Love the theme of the four seasons and the progression (from seduction, to abuse, and then death) of the italicised words in the last line of each paragraph.
That added a symbolic element to the poem + there are so many ways this poem can be interpreted.
It's beautiful.
Daphne
2/20/2011 c1 
1ClassicalManiac777
Very creepy poem, but that's how I like it lol.
Though I can't help but feel it has a connection with something deeper... I won't say what but words seem to imply it.
1ClassicalManiac777Very creepy poem, but that's how I like it lol.
Though I can't help but feel it has a connection with something deeper... I won't say what but words seem to imply it.
1/23/2011 c1 10Katerzzz
Eerie much. Very scary!
I loved it though, I don't often do poetry but this is simply scary and I like scary poetry. And brilliantly written poetry. Quite Victorian in its nature, or is that just me? I could imagine this being writtn by a Gothic Victorian lady about her "gentleman friend" but perhaps that is because I am rewriting Jack's London at this current moment, IDK, but I LOVED it. Brilliant :D
Katerz
P.S.: The Ghost has been updated again, would love to know your thoughts.
10KaterzzzEerie much. Very scary!
I loved it though, I don't often do poetry but this is simply scary and I like scary poetry. And brilliantly written poetry. Quite Victorian in its nature, or is that just me? I could imagine this being writtn by a Gothic Victorian lady about her "gentleman friend" but perhaps that is because I am rewriting Jack's London at this current moment, IDK, but I LOVED it. Brilliant :D
Katerz
P.S.: The Ghost has been updated again, would love to know your thoughts.
1/2/2011 c1 6Kalista Jia
Oh dear, I must say, this poem is brilliant. the dark theme is like... LOVED! I love this sort of psychotic poems!
Fainted from the glee I got from this poem.
My favorite lines (if you allow me to quote them):
He strangled me in the Spring
Over a cup of tea
My dear, can you
Let go of my tongue?
He slashed me in the Summer
While butterflies kissed my dreams away
Flames ravage the pit of my throat
Oh, why did the Universe betray?
A choke
You watched me die many times
Please, just look up to the skies
A death
Darling, this is a wonderful poem! Fabulous job!
ps. I love the title, I find it to be such a coincidence that I have a character by the name Halcyon too. So extra cookie for both of us! Yay!
~Kalista Jia~
6Kalista JiaOh dear, I must say, this poem is brilliant. the dark theme is like... LOVED! I love this sort of psychotic poems!
Fainted from the glee I got from this poem.
My favorite lines (if you allow me to quote them):
He strangled me in the Spring
Over a cup of tea
My dear, can you
Let go of my tongue?
He slashed me in the Summer
While butterflies kissed my dreams away
Flames ravage the pit of my throat
Oh, why did the Universe betray?
A choke
You watched me die many times
Please, just look up to the skies
A death
Darling, this is a wonderful poem! Fabulous job!
ps. I love the title, I find it to be such a coincidence that I have a character by the name Halcyon too. So extra cookie for both of us! Yay!
~Kalista Jia~
12/21/2010 c1 G.M.Smith
Clearly, this guy is either a pychopath who is killing her, or a memory that is tormenting her, that's my guess. A very nice poem, keeps you guessing and wondering until the very end, i like how you keep it sort of a mystery as to what is actually going on in it and what it represents.
Clearly, this guy is either a pychopath who is killing her, or a memory that is tormenting her, that's my guess. A very nice poem, keeps you guessing and wondering until the very end, i like how you keep it sort of a mystery as to what is actually going on in it and what it represents.
12/19/2010 c1 Old xRayneWolfx account
I simply enjoyed this, the four seasons were a plus to discuss the terrors this girl has went through. I love it. It feels like your discribing the different ways people can hurt innocents.
Ah I can't help but fall in love with your poem. Wonderful job
~Rayne wolf
I simply enjoyed this, the four seasons were a plus to discuss the terrors this girl has went through. I love it. It feels like your discribing the different ways people can hurt innocents.
Ah I can't help but fall in love with your poem. Wonderful job
~Rayne wolf
12/11/2010 c1 1Eiya Weathes
I'm not really good in reviewing poems but I like this piece very much that I wanted to, you know, review.
To start it off, your rhythm and rhyme are both amazing and give it a dramatic yet flowing edge. I have to agree with one of the reviewers, 'tea' and 'glee'. Yeah, that one didn't work for me.
I don't think I should comment on your imagery, readers have already made it clear that your use of imagery is great.
[A kiss. A touch. A smile. A lie. A choke. A trick. A destiny. A death]
I love the ones in italics. They add a bit more edge and lace the poem with this certain melodramatic flair.
Overall, I love the poem. I look forward to read more pieces like this one. It's seriously great!
- Amethyst Penn
~ This review is sponsored by The Roadhouse.
1Eiya WeathesI'm not really good in reviewing poems but I like this piece very much that I wanted to, you know, review.
To start it off, your rhythm and rhyme are both amazing and give it a dramatic yet flowing edge. I have to agree with one of the reviewers, 'tea' and 'glee'. Yeah, that one didn't work for me.
I don't think I should comment on your imagery, readers have already made it clear that your use of imagery is great.
[A kiss. A touch. A smile. A lie. A choke. A trick. A destiny. A death]
I love the ones in italics. They add a bit more edge and lace the poem with this certain melodramatic flair.
Overall, I love the poem. I look forward to read more pieces like this one. It's seriously great!
- Amethyst Penn
~ This review is sponsored by The Roadhouse.
12/8/2010 c1 99Dreamers-Requiem
I really liked that poem - it draws you in and I like the use of the seasons, though its hard to work out if they're metaphorical or if this actually happens over a year but I like how you can't kind of tell (or maybe it's just my brain being stupid.) Anyway, the formatting helps a lot, I think, and you can tell that each word has been carefully chosen so well done for that. I'm not sure about the 'he' - originally, I would have said that 'he' was a boyfriend, or an ex, but I'm wondering if there's something more to it than that, a sort of metaphorical he, perhaps?
Or even a father abusing a child, that's a possibilty? Anyway, yeah, great poem, nicely written.
99Dreamers-RequiemI really liked that poem - it draws you in and I like the use of the seasons, though its hard to work out if they're metaphorical or if this actually happens over a year but I like how you can't kind of tell (or maybe it's just my brain being stupid.) Anyway, the formatting helps a lot, I think, and you can tell that each word has been carefully chosen so well done for that. I'm not sure about the 'he' - originally, I would have said that 'he' was a boyfriend, or an ex, but I'm wondering if there's something more to it than that, a sort of metaphorical he, perhaps?
Or even a father abusing a child, that's a possibilty? Anyway, yeah, great poem, nicely written.
12/8/2010 c1 5thefaultinourpatronus
Finally got along to reviewing this!
I love love LOVE the last three paragraphs. They're really well written, and have an awesome dramatic edge to it. Amazing work!
x mandy
~Gossip
PS Could you please payback via The Mathews Scenario ch4? Thanks (:
5thefaultinourpatronusFinally got along to reviewing this!
I love love LOVE the last three paragraphs. They're really well written, and have an awesome dramatic edge to it. Amazing work!
x mandy
~Gossip
PS Could you please payback via The Mathews Scenario ch4? Thanks (:
12/7/2010 c1 16Serendipitist Swan
Huh, I looked at the reviews and saw that everyone seemed to think that "he" was the boyfriend in an abusive relationship. To be honest, I was under the impression that the poem was about sexual abuse and that "he" was a sex offender of sorts.
Just call me the non-conformist.
-Swan
16Serendipitist SwanHuh, I looked at the reviews and saw that everyone seemed to think that "he" was the boyfriend in an abusive relationship. To be honest, I was under the impression that the poem was about sexual abuse and that "he" was a sex offender of sorts.
Just call me the non-conformist.
-Swan
12/6/2010 c1 4lookingwest
From RH
I like what you did with the seasons and incorporating that into the poem because I thought it gave a good sense of time passing, and everything. I also liked the way that you consistently ended each stanza with an italicized word that was set apart as something jarring because it really format-wise made it stick out, and each word was chosen well because it's a bold sort of word. The only rhyme that didn't work for me was "tea" and "glee"-I thought that was a little cheesy because when I think of the word "glee" I don't think of the overall sad subject matter of the entire poem. Other than that though, it overall told a story, and I thought it was cool that there was time progression and a cast of characters too.
4lookingwestFrom RH
I like what you did with the seasons and incorporating that into the poem because I thought it gave a good sense of time passing, and everything. I also liked the way that you consistently ended each stanza with an italicized word that was set apart as something jarring because it really format-wise made it stick out, and each word was chosen well because it's a bold sort of word. The only rhyme that didn't work for me was "tea" and "glee"-I thought that was a little cheesy because when I think of the word "glee" I don't think of the overall sad subject matter of the entire poem. Other than that though, it overall told a story, and I thought it was cool that there was time progression and a cast of characters too.
12/6/2010 c1 1esthaelum
I swear this title is haunting me... I keep seeing 'Goodbye Halcyon Days' EVERYWAY. Just the other day, I was watching something off tv, then it popped up! Then, I was reading some book, and one of the characters said it...
Halcyon means happy/carefree, right? It's a pretty sad title then, considering how its saying goodbye...
Anyway, on to the review!
Winter doesn't need a capital letter, you know. The season don't have capital letters - but unless you intend on making the word 'winter' important.
I like the theme of seasons, and also the darkness and kind of... abuse? It sounds like she's getting abused by some boyfriend or something... The choice of words were good too, and I really loved the bluntness. The fact that the sentences started with 'my dear' (well, most of them) makes it sound like she's still trying to cling onto the boy despite all the bad things...? Im not sure if its meant to be like that, but good poem nevertheless!
RH~
1esthaelumI swear this title is haunting me... I keep seeing 'Goodbye Halcyon Days' EVERYWAY. Just the other day, I was watching something off tv, then it popped up! Then, I was reading some book, and one of the characters said it...
Halcyon means happy/carefree, right? It's a pretty sad title then, considering how its saying goodbye...
Anyway, on to the review!
Winter doesn't need a capital letter, you know. The season don't have capital letters - but unless you intend on making the word 'winter' important.
I like the theme of seasons, and also the darkness and kind of... abuse? It sounds like she's getting abused by some boyfriend or something... The choice of words were good too, and I really loved the bluntness. The fact that the sentences started with 'my dear' (well, most of them) makes it sound like she's still trying to cling onto the boy despite all the bad things...? Im not sure if its meant to be like that, but good poem nevertheless!
RH~
12/4/2010 c1 6ranDUMM
Hey,
I have no idea who 'he' is, but I nevertheless really liked this poem! I liked the word in italics at the end. It kind of summarised the whole paragraph and shows the journey from the beginning to the end.
I particularly liked the way you wrote about their relaionship changing throughout the seasons; how it went from Winter to Spring to Summer to Autumn. The imagery was really good; especially "Caged, trapped under this skin".
It was written really well, and the concept was particularly intriguing. How you thought of that, I will never know :P However, you executed it brilliantly. All in all, it was a really good poem which reflects your talent in writing. Awesome stuff, keep it up :)
ranDUMM
- gossip forum
6ranDUMMHey,
I have no idea who 'he' is, but I nevertheless really liked this poem! I liked the word in italics at the end. It kind of summarised the whole paragraph and shows the journey from the beginning to the end.
I particularly liked the way you wrote about their relaionship changing throughout the seasons; how it went from Winter to Spring to Summer to Autumn. The imagery was really good; especially "Caged, trapped under this skin".
It was written really well, and the concept was particularly intriguing. How you thought of that, I will never know :P However, you executed it brilliantly. All in all, it was a really good poem which reflects your talent in writing. Awesome stuff, keep it up :)
ranDUMM
- gossip forum
12/4/2010 c1 reviewer
this is great poetry! it's well written and i love the way it flows, and the different seasons. i don't really know who "he" is, but i was able to think of someone in my life who fits the part, and i think that the greatest poems are the ones you can relate to! (:
this is great poetry! it's well written and i love the way it flows, and the different seasons. i don't really know who "he" is, but i was able to think of someone in my life who fits the part, and i think that the greatest poems are the ones you can relate to! (: