for The Narcoleptic Beauty12/26/2017 c1 
114zigaudrey
Why you wrote the story twice? This should have 151 words!
"Contester" is not the right verb, choose "Défier" as a verb of challenge.
Same for the verb "Arrêter", which is "bloquer", for blocking the way.
"Tous c'était heureux" doesn't need the c' and the verb "être", linked to the "tous", should be written as "étaient".
When a word become by a letter like a,e,u,y,i or o; the derteminant need an apostrophe, so, you will have "l'empire".
The verb "lever", followed by the verb "être", is linked to the third feminine singular subject, it should be written as "elle s'est levée".
In "Il l'a donné un café", you don't need the COD before the verb "avoir", "café" is already here. If you want to let the L apostrophe, delete the last word.
Short and rapid rythme comes from the coffee which gives such energy to avoid description of the princess, background and such. This is the personnality of Cappachino. Caffein is know for waking the nerf and get fast! I hope he is not late for the bathroom break!
You show a good start for using the French language. Good luck in improving!
114zigaudreyWhy you wrote the story twice? This should have 151 words!
"Contester" is not the right verb, choose "Défier" as a verb of challenge.
Same for the verb "Arrêter", which is "bloquer", for blocking the way.
"Tous c'était heureux" doesn't need the c' and the verb "être", linked to the "tous", should be written as "étaient".
When a word become by a letter like a,e,u,y,i or o; the derteminant need an apostrophe, so, you will have "l'empire".
The verb "lever", followed by the verb "être", is linked to the third feminine singular subject, it should be written as "elle s'est levée".
In "Il l'a donné un café", you don't need the COD before the verb "avoir", "café" is already here. If you want to let the L apostrophe, delete the last word.
Short and rapid rythme comes from the coffee which gives such energy to avoid description of the princess, background and such. This is the personnality of Cappachino. Caffein is know for waking the nerf and get fast! I hope he is not late for the bathroom break!
You show a good start for using the French language. Good luck in improving!
12/19/2010 c1 CSF
Hello !
I am french. So my review can be difficult to read or understand.
You learning french in class, I think ? I found some error in your text :
"Il s'appelait Cappaccino. Il est allé á (this is à. accent is not right) la tour. Il entrait dans la tour quand Tim Horton lui a arrêté. (quand Tim Horton l'a arrêté)
"Je te conteste dans une bataille de boire le café, (sens is weird. I dont't understand what do you mean. It's a coffe battle ?) " Tim Horton a dit ( a dit Tim Horton).
Prince Cappaccino a accepté. ( narration is separated from dialogues)
Après tout le café, Tim Horton a perdu et Prince Cappachino est (a monté) monté les étages de la tour. Il a ouvert la porte de la chambre de la princesse.
Il a couru à Princesse Latté et il l'a (lui a) donnée (donné. Passé composé is a very hard conjugaison with avoir verb, it's normal if you don't know) un café. Elle s'est levé (levée. The subject is she) et elle a dit, (not comma in front of one dialogue) "Merci." Ils sont tombés amoureux et ils sont partis de la tour. (good verbs)
Le prince et la princesse ont pris le royaume de Tim Horton et le café.
Ils ont fait une boum (une fête, it's better word), et tous c'était heureux (et tous étaient heureux). La princesse est devenue la reine de le empire (de l'empire) de Starbucks. Elle était bonne souveraine et elle buvait tout café (tout le café), (not comma with a 'et'. one or other but not two) et elle ne dormait pas."
I hope to helped you. It is very nice to post a classwork.
Hello !
I am french. So my review can be difficult to read or understand.
You learning french in class, I think ? I found some error in your text :
"Il s'appelait Cappaccino. Il est allé á (this is à. accent is not right) la tour. Il entrait dans la tour quand Tim Horton lui a arrêté. (quand Tim Horton l'a arrêté)
"Je te conteste dans une bataille de boire le café, (sens is weird. I dont't understand what do you mean. It's a coffe battle ?) " Tim Horton a dit ( a dit Tim Horton).
Prince Cappaccino a accepté. ( narration is separated from dialogues)
Après tout le café, Tim Horton a perdu et Prince Cappachino est (a monté) monté les étages de la tour. Il a ouvert la porte de la chambre de la princesse.
Il a couru à Princesse Latté et il l'a (lui a) donnée (donné. Passé composé is a very hard conjugaison with avoir verb, it's normal if you don't know) un café. Elle s'est levé (levée. The subject is she) et elle a dit, (not comma in front of one dialogue) "Merci." Ils sont tombés amoureux et ils sont partis de la tour. (good verbs)
Le prince et la princesse ont pris le royaume de Tim Horton et le café.
Ils ont fait une boum (une fête, it's better word), et tous c'était heureux (et tous étaient heureux). La princesse est devenue la reine de le empire (de l'empire) de Starbucks. Elle était bonne souveraine et elle buvait tout café (tout le café), (not comma with a 'et'. one or other but not two) et elle ne dormait pas."
I hope to helped you. It is very nice to post a classwork.