for Everlong11/20/2012 c5 Teen
Aw, so sweet. The dialogue was great and it was a good read.
Aw, so sweet. The dialogue was great and it was a good read.
8/13/2011 c5 lalaboom
Awh, that was amazing! A bit annoyed that Jordan was so blind for so long, but that was the plot of the story isn't it? But I'm glad that they got together in the end. Margarita (interesting name) is such a sweet friend! She gives Jordan and Allie what they need, not what they want. I kinda feel bad for Leah, but I was quite confused with her character.. there were times when I wasn't sure if she was fake or genuine. And Allie! I liked her character. She's imperfect (with all her jumping into conclusions) but that's good, it makes her relatable. Jordan and Allie make an awesome, cute couple! Perfect for my community! :)
Awh, that was amazing! A bit annoyed that Jordan was so blind for so long, but that was the plot of the story isn't it? But I'm glad that they got together in the end. Margarita (interesting name) is such a sweet friend! She gives Jordan and Allie what they need, not what they want. I kinda feel bad for Leah, but I was quite confused with her character.. there were times when I wasn't sure if she was fake or genuine. And Allie! I liked her character. She's imperfect (with all her jumping into conclusions) but that's good, it makes her relatable. Jordan and Allie make an awesome, cute couple! Perfect for my community! :)
2/23/2011 c1 Call Me Irresponsible
It was clichéd but in a good way. My only critique would be about Allie. She seemed... a little weak. I just thought that she should have made him sweat a bit before finally accepting him. But it was a pleasant read, overall. So, thank you for that.
It was clichéd but in a good way. My only critique would be about Allie. She seemed... a little weak. I just thought that she should have made him sweat a bit before finally accepting him. But it was a pleasant read, overall. So, thank you for that.
2/4/2011 c5 
1Natasha Dust
That was really good. I cried a bit... and laughed and rolled my eyes at some parts. It was enjoyable, really. :D
1Natasha DustThat was really good. I cried a bit... and laughed and rolled my eyes at some parts. It was enjoyable, really. :D
1/29/2011 c1 Guest
Um, yeah. I noticed the FP censored my review, so the "**" replaces the b-word. Oops. I just realized you don’t cuss in your story. Hope you don’t mind – I only used the b-word. (I know, it’s not only, but, well...I have no excuse actually.)
Um, yeah. I noticed the FP censored my review, so the "**" replaces the b-word. Oops. I just realized you don’t cuss in your story. Hope you don’t mind – I only used the b-word. (I know, it’s not only, but, well...I have no excuse actually.)
1/29/2011 c5 Guest
I would love an epilogue! The only thing is, I'm probably never coming back to FP again, since it's hard enough for me to keep track of my stories on FFN without an account. So yeah, I'd probably never notice if you put an epilogue. Sorry.
But this was so cute! And if I didn't have to go research the violation of human rights in China, I'd love elaborate what I loved. Like, how adorable this entire thing was. Especially th ending. Seriously.
I would love an epilogue! The only thing is, I'm probably never coming back to FP again, since it's hard enough for me to keep track of my stories on FFN without an account. So yeah, I'd probably never notice if you put an epilogue. Sorry.
But this was so cute! And if I didn't have to go research the violation of human rights in China, I'd love elaborate what I loved. Like, how adorable this entire thing was. Especially th ending. Seriously.
1/29/2011 c4 Guest
Aw. What I hate more than a jealous bitch girlfriend is an understanding sad girlfriend. I know, it doesn't make any sense, but I hate feeling bad for the other party. (I'm immature, so sue me. =P ) Wah. Now I feel really bad for Leah.
Do I need to say adorable! I would love to tell you all the things I loved about what happened after that, how cute it was, and how I loved the way you described it, but that would take a long time, and I'm a really lazy butt (who's actually procrastinating from a project) so not now.
One thing though, I loved how you set the misunderstanding up. Like, usually, I can find one person to blame, but I totally get where Allie's coming from. I mean, from her point of view he just kissed her, and then he makes some cryptic remark about Leah. Seriously. But, well, you can't blame Jordan either. The fact that he's absolutely adorable doesn't help.
Oh, and I lurved the way you mentioned how his eyes lingered on his lips. That sounds so creeper-y, but I thought it was so cute. And, I ended up rambling again. Phooey.
Aw. What I hate more than a jealous bitch girlfriend is an understanding sad girlfriend. I know, it doesn't make any sense, but I hate feeling bad for the other party. (I'm immature, so sue me. =P ) Wah. Now I feel really bad for Leah.
Do I need to say adorable! I would love to tell you all the things I loved about what happened after that, how cute it was, and how I loved the way you described it, but that would take a long time, and I'm a really lazy butt (who's actually procrastinating from a project) so not now.
One thing though, I loved how you set the misunderstanding up. Like, usually, I can find one person to blame, but I totally get where Allie's coming from. I mean, from her point of view he just kissed her, and then he makes some cryptic remark about Leah. Seriously. But, well, you can't blame Jordan either. The fact that he's absolutely adorable doesn't help.
Oh, and I lurved the way you mentioned how his eyes lingered on his lips. That sounds so creeper-y, but I thought it was so cute. And, I ended up rambling again. Phooey.
1/29/2011 c3 Guest
Fave chapter...for now. Okay, I have lots of things I loved in this chapter, so I'm going to be over-using the word "love" a lot. And the word "cute". And maybe "adorable" if I'm trying to give "cute" a break. Be prepared.
First of all, Margarita is such a sweet friend. I love strong friendships between girls (Did that sound kinda creeper-ish to you? Lol, I didn't mean it that way.) almost as much as I love cute fluff. Almost. And, I love friends who help other friends put on makeup. (Partly because I suck butt at makeup.)
And I loved when Jordan noticed how pretty Allie was! So cute. I also love how they all call it "over-priced champagne."
Jordan's dad was adorable too. I mean, you can't act that way with your friend's dad unless you're really close, so I loved their interaction. And they have the parents' approval for whne they start going out.
I also loved how bitter Jordan was at Allie leaving. And it was so cute why he didn't even realize how sad he would be, he was just all like, "You just can't go," which I thought was extremely adorable. And then I loved the way they made up.
They're still one problem (read: girlfriend Leah) left though! Well, and the fact that they aren't going out yet, but that's not the point.
Fave chapter...for now. Okay, I have lots of things I loved in this chapter, so I'm going to be over-using the word "love" a lot. And the word "cute". And maybe "adorable" if I'm trying to give "cute" a break. Be prepared.
First of all, Margarita is such a sweet friend. I love strong friendships between girls (Did that sound kinda creeper-ish to you? Lol, I didn't mean it that way.) almost as much as I love cute fluff. Almost. And, I love friends who help other friends put on makeup. (Partly because I suck butt at makeup.)
And I loved when Jordan noticed how pretty Allie was! So cute. I also love how they all call it "over-priced champagne."
Jordan's dad was adorable too. I mean, you can't act that way with your friend's dad unless you're really close, so I loved their interaction. And they have the parents' approval for whne they start going out.
I also loved how bitter Jordan was at Allie leaving. And it was so cute why he didn't even realize how sad he would be, he was just all like, "You just can't go," which I thought was extremely adorable. And then I loved the way they made up.
They're still one problem (read: girlfriend Leah) left though! Well, and the fact that they aren't going out yet, but that's not the point.
1/29/2011 c2 Guest
Um. I forget what name I used for my last review, so I hope it was this one. This time, my favorite part was the beginning. I love how Allie wasn't a jealous bitch and was all sweet and guilty when Jordan couldn't think of what he and Leah had in common. And, okay, so Leah isn't a total poop-head. Whatever. She's way too perfect to be real. Allie is so much cooler.
Change of mind! Favorite part: when Jordan zipped up Allie's dress! So cute! I really hope she wasn't imagining the part when his voice came out all husky.
Um. I forget what name I used for my last review, so I hope it was this one. This time, my favorite part was the beginning. I love how Allie wasn't a jealous bitch and was all sweet and guilty when Jordan couldn't think of what he and Leah had in common. And, okay, so Leah isn't a total poop-head. Whatever. She's way too perfect to be real. Allie is so much cooler.
Change of mind! Favorite part: when Jordan zipped up Allie's dress! So cute! I really hope she wasn't imagining the part when his voice came out all husky.
1/29/2011 c1 Guest
Aw, this sounds so cute! I've just moved from browsing FFN to FP, and I was kind of surprised because a lot of the writing was horrible - not the impression I had of FP from what other people said in their fics. This is adorable though, and totally restores my faith. =D I loved the last part when Jorday was begging Allie to come to the Christmas party. It shows how close they are, even if it's not romantically. And a prediction: Is Leah going to be one of those jealous bitch girlfriends? She kinda sounds like it, but I might just be over-analyzing a bit.
Aw, this sounds so cute! I've just moved from browsing FFN to FP, and I was kind of surprised because a lot of the writing was horrible - not the impression I had of FP from what other people said in their fics. This is adorable though, and totally restores my faith. =D I loved the last part when Jorday was begging Allie to come to the Christmas party. It shows how close they are, even if it's not romantically. And a prediction: Is Leah going to be one of those jealous bitch girlfriends? She kinda sounds like it, but I might just be over-analyzing a bit.