for Ejderha2/7/2011 c8 
36Vulpine Ninja
oh wow... to think that the draches are younger than their mates.. :O
well stuff is getting interesting but seems rather in a rush.
okay sorry for bringing this up again: So the eggs left in the desert are just male drachelings only? I wonder what happens to the females, since they need them to breed (yes, i'm aware that the female draches have a long life).
36Vulpine Ninjaoh wow... to think that the draches are younger than their mates.. :O
well stuff is getting interesting but seems rather in a rush.
okay sorry for bringing this up again: So the eggs left in the desert are just male drachelings only? I wonder what happens to the females, since they need them to breed (yes, i'm aware that the female draches have a long life).
1/21/2011 c7 Vulpine Ninja
Man, that's quite an adventure! It sorta reminds me of a combination of 3 books I've read.
Well tbh I was quite irritated by the characters impatience, but I soon came to an understanding about the bond. IMO, if you stop part one at the point where Daeus finally transforms would be much more epic. A cliffhanger! Something which could leave us hunger for more.
and cos whatever happens right after that sort of brought the 'WOW graph' downwards...
Okay here are the questions I've been meaning to ask;
1. Why are there only witches?
2. Where are the men or male mages?
3. Since it is implied female draches exists; Are the Q'Lia mates only consists of pairs a witch and male drache? Can it be possible for a witch to pair with a female drache?
I'm not being a sexist or anything, but I've seen a lot of stories which made girls the hero (while the boys are portrayed as the 'weaker' gender) and it bothers me. Unless there's a proper reasoning for that, I can accept. You don't have to answer me directly but I hope you can write something on this in the next parts.
Thank you for entertaining me this far. I look forward to the continuation :)
Man, that's quite an adventure! It sorta reminds me of a combination of 3 books I've read.
Well tbh I was quite irritated by the characters impatience, but I soon came to an understanding about the bond. IMO, if you stop part one at the point where Daeus finally transforms would be much more epic. A cliffhanger! Something which could leave us hunger for more.
and cos whatever happens right after that sort of brought the 'WOW graph' downwards...
Okay here are the questions I've been meaning to ask;
1. Why are there only witches?
2. Where are the men or male mages?
3. Since it is implied female draches exists; Are the Q'Lia mates only consists of pairs a witch and male drache? Can it be possible for a witch to pair with a female drache?
I'm not being a sexist or anything, but I've seen a lot of stories which made girls the hero (while the boys are portrayed as the 'weaker' gender) and it bothers me. Unless there's a proper reasoning for that, I can accept. You don't have to answer me directly but I hope you can write something on this in the next parts.
Thank you for entertaining me this far. I look forward to the continuation :)
1/21/2011 c3 Vulpine Ninja
I have some questions to ask, but I'll leave it until the latest chapter in case they're answered in the upcoming chapters.
Anyway, you wrote pretty well. for the first couple of chapters it's rather fast paced, but then again it's better than being draggy.
the fight between 2 clans confused me a little but I get the picture. And I'd be more grateful if you'd tell us a bit more about Pennylsvania cos well, some of us are not American let alone been to the USA (but I guess I can just google).
One thing that bothers me is the way you describe Jos' relationship with her foster parents. Okay straightfowardly we know that they don't give a damn about her, but instead of 'telling' us that, why not write a scene between Jos' and her parents to imply that relationship strain? That way readers can feel the emotional impact, or otherwise relate to it. There's also no implication about Jos' having friends in our world (whether or not she has them), you might wanna reconsider that.
I have some questions to ask, but I'll leave it until the latest chapter in case they're answered in the upcoming chapters.
Anyway, you wrote pretty well. for the first couple of chapters it's rather fast paced, but then again it's better than being draggy.
the fight between 2 clans confused me a little but I get the picture. And I'd be more grateful if you'd tell us a bit more about Pennylsvania cos well, some of us are not American let alone been to the USA (but I guess I can just google).
One thing that bothers me is the way you describe Jos' relationship with her foster parents. Okay straightfowardly we know that they don't give a damn about her, but instead of 'telling' us that, why not write a scene between Jos' and her parents to imply that relationship strain? That way readers can feel the emotional impact, or otherwise relate to it. There's also no implication about Jos' having friends in our world (whether or not she has them), you might wanna reconsider that.
1/20/2011 c1 Vulpine Ninja
Well, consider this as 'returning a favor'. But then it's about dragons so yeah~
Ah forbidden love between 2 different species, but in this case it somehow becomes legal. I'm not into romance much but I'd love to see how it goes. It's not easy to fall in love with someone you grew up with, or something that you raise. but then I loved my cat, I wished he could transform into a human so that he'd be my lover :P
Love the way you give the impression that Josceline would be the main character, but then she 'died'. But the summary says otherwise... so I'm a little disappointed with the lack of suspense here. Yet I'm interested to know how'd she react when she returns, so I'm looking forward to the next chapter (yeah I'm aware there's 7 already but I'll get to it later)
Well, consider this as 'returning a favor'. But then it's about dragons so yeah~
Ah forbidden love between 2 different species, but in this case it somehow becomes legal. I'm not into romance much but I'd love to see how it goes. It's not easy to fall in love with someone you grew up with, or something that you raise. but then I loved my cat, I wished he could transform into a human so that he'd be my lover :P
Love the way you give the impression that Josceline would be the main character, but then she 'died'. But the summary says otherwise... so I'm a little disappointed with the lack of suspense here. Yet I'm interested to know how'd she react when she returns, so I'm looking forward to the next chapter (yeah I'm aware there's 7 already but I'll get to it later)
1/20/2011 c7 sw33tdaisie
thanks for the update...one question though - since dragons all use mind speech, does that mean the thoughts of all the witches accessible, like every dragon can go through their thoughts at all times?
thanks for the update...one question though - since dragons all use mind speech, does that mean the thoughts of all the witches accessible, like every dragon can go through their thoughts at all times?
1/4/2011 c3 1muffers-person
Damn, didn't mean to leave a blank review last time. Anyways, so far, I really like what you've written. Again, I find your style quite beautiful, although the pace picks up considerably from the first chapter, and it kind of shook me. I don't think it's a bad thing, though; I just wasn't expecting it to move that fast.
I'm excited that they're leaving our world and returning to Ejderha. I thought the flashback for Josceline worked really well, too; it was cute, imagining Daeus picking through her memories like that and letting her relieve one that, initially at least, allowed her to feel closer to her mother.
I can't wait to see what you do with chapter four!
1muffers-personDamn, didn't mean to leave a blank review last time. Anyways, so far, I really like what you've written. Again, I find your style quite beautiful, although the pace picks up considerably from the first chapter, and it kind of shook me. I don't think it's a bad thing, though; I just wasn't expecting it to move that fast.
I'm excited that they're leaving our world and returning to Ejderha. I thought the flashback for Josceline worked really well, too; it was cute, imagining Daeus picking through her memories like that and letting her relieve one that, initially at least, allowed her to feel closer to her mother.
I can't wait to see what you do with chapter four!
1/3/2011 c3 1Just.a.Little.Bitter
This Is a great idea and the story is written beautifully. Please update soon, can't wait to read more!
1Just.a.Little.BitterThis Is a great idea and the story is written beautifully. Please update soon, can't wait to read more!
12/31/2010 c1 Guest
your writing style is beautiful! i can't find anything at all to critique here in the prologue; it's wonderfully written, and your idea takes an interesting approach to dragon and witches i've never seen before. when more time permits, i'll read the rest, but i'm intrigued so far!
your writing style is beautiful! i can't find anything at all to critique here in the prologue; it's wonderfully written, and your idea takes an interesting approach to dragon and witches i've never seen before. when more time permits, i'll read the rest, but i'm intrigued so far!
12/30/2010 c2 Witch of the Abyss
Oh..wow. That was incredible. You have a very lovely, sophisticated writing style. I'm loving this story so far, and I hope to see more soon~! :D
Oh..wow. That was incredible. You have a very lovely, sophisticated writing style. I'm loving this story so far, and I hope to see more soon~! :D