for Merboy3/17/2013 c32 mandy.l.williams.94
Yea(: I was really worried you dropped this story! But you didn't:) and there's a sequel! Friggin', yesssss(: lol
Yea(: I was really worried you dropped this story! But you didn't:) and there's a sequel! Friggin', yesssss(: lol
3/3/2013 c12 princessoftheshadowsofdestiny
not an excellent writer my ass! you should totally publish this! It is 1 of the funniest stories i've ever read and i should know, I spend my time reading instesad of doing my homework and get in trouble for it ALOT. You arer a totally awesome writer! I totally did NOT see tanner stealing the food. HILARIOUS!
not an excellent writer my ass! you should totally publish this! It is 1 of the funniest stories i've ever read and i should know, I spend my time reading instesad of doing my homework and get in trouble for it ALOT. You arer a totally awesome writer! I totally did NOT see tanner stealing the food. HILARIOUS!
3/2/2013 c6 princessoftheshadowsofdestiny
i think it sound alot more like obi wan than 's sentences are structured like a direct japanese translation but other wise i'm sitting here wheezing from all of the luaghter and my brother is starting to look at me strangely. he just commented that my face looks purple from luaghing so hard FUNNY FUNNY SHIT DUDE!
i think it sound alot more like obi wan than 's sentences are structured like a direct japanese translation but other wise i'm sitting here wheezing from all of the luaghter and my brother is starting to look at me strangely. he just commented that my face looks purple from luaghing so hard FUNNY FUNNY SHIT DUDE!
2/21/2013 c32 Jessy-8739
Oh my goodness, such a good story and a cute couple! Almost thought that it has a sad ending when tanner died. But of course, I love happy endings. Love it!
Oh my goodness, such a good story and a cute couple! Almost thought that it has a sad ending when tanner died. But of course, I love happy endings. Love it!
2/1/2013 c11 Epic Asian
you had laney ask "mind if we sit with you guys?"
"hell no!" im assuming belongs to erin cuz shes so rude. but thats saying she doesnt mind. she should sy hell yes we mind and tanner should say not at all.
you had laney ask "mind if we sit with you guys?"
"hell no!" im assuming belongs to erin cuz shes so rude. but thats saying she doesnt mind. she should sy hell yes we mind and tanner should say not at all.
1/26/2013 c3 
2BloodWillSpill
Definitely the line: Fish-boy say what? wins " The line that made me crack up" award. However, the speedy narrative is still a bit of a problem, as you seem to be a wiz at excellent dialogue, it's hard to paint a picture past Tanner's sea green eyes. And this may be a personal preference (and in no way to offend you or any of your fans) but I kind of wish his name was Sebastian. It's kind of a nod to the LIttle Mermaid and it's less common than Tanner. And I know a Tanner in school and he's a loser who smokes weed. Go figure? And as I see that the genre is humor, I kind of wish the curse that was casted on him had been more of a revelation than just a random statement. He just tells us all the necessities of being cured and the characters don't put much thought into it. I just hope when they are looking for this Sea Witch, it becomes a bit more..dramatic. Sorry, I'm in no way trying to direct your story. I'm really enjoying myself!
2BloodWillSpillDefinitely the line: Fish-boy say what? wins " The line that made me crack up" award. However, the speedy narrative is still a bit of a problem, as you seem to be a wiz at excellent dialogue, it's hard to paint a picture past Tanner's sea green eyes. And this may be a personal preference (and in no way to offend you or any of your fans) but I kind of wish his name was Sebastian. It's kind of a nod to the LIttle Mermaid and it's less common than Tanner. And I know a Tanner in school and he's a loser who smokes weed. Go figure? And as I see that the genre is humor, I kind of wish the curse that was casted on him had been more of a revelation than just a random statement. He just tells us all the necessities of being cured and the characters don't put much thought into it. I just hope when they are looking for this Sea Witch, it becomes a bit more..dramatic. Sorry, I'm in no way trying to direct your story. I'm really enjoying myself!
1/26/2013 c2 BloodWillSpill
Yes, this chapter was better than the last. I like the sister rivalry you throw in and it makes for some humorous dialogue. But like Erin, I can see being at odds with someone every day. The nickname is total hell and I understand Kerr's frustration :). However, sometimes I feel like you speed through the story, forgetting description at some points. I'm sorry but I don't like when people do time jumps like "2 days later" or in this case: Two hours later. But back to the positives, I do enjoy how you have them looking for the Merboy. And it's good to see a main character take action instead of standing there screaming or in hysterics. In the great words of Tony the Tiger: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeaaaaat !
Yes, this chapter was better than the last. I like the sister rivalry you throw in and it makes for some humorous dialogue. But like Erin, I can see being at odds with someone every day. The nickname is total hell and I understand Kerr's frustration :). However, sometimes I feel like you speed through the story, forgetting description at some points. I'm sorry but I don't like when people do time jumps like "2 days later" or in this case: Two hours later. But back to the positives, I do enjoy how you have them looking for the Merboy. And it's good to see a main character take action instead of standing there screaming or in hysterics. In the great words of Tony the Tiger: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeaaaaat !
1/18/2013 c31 2the trash lord
BEST THING I HAVE EVER READ! This should be a published book! As i was reading it I was thinking to myself 'wow how great a movie would this make?!' AMAZING! I am soo exited to read the epilouge! :D
2the trash lordBEST THING I HAVE EVER READ! This should be a published book! As i was reading it I was thinking to myself 'wow how great a movie would this make?!' AMAZING! I am soo exited to read the epilouge! :D
1/18/2013 c1 2BloodWillSpill
Im sorry, I accidentally pressed the review button way too early. But as I was saying, your prologue had good dialogue, great description, and interesting characters! However, you sometimes named random physical description. Instead of immediately telling us her coloration, maybe you could've said "The boy's hands wrapped around her cocoa brown wrist" or whatever. It's more of a stupid suggestion so don't fret over it. Oh, and when he left, there should've been an 'a' between the comma and scaly. Otherwise, awesome job!
2BloodWillSpillIm sorry, I accidentally pressed the review button way too early. But as I was saying, your prologue had good dialogue, great description, and interesting characters! However, you sometimes named random physical description. Instead of immediately telling us her coloration, maybe you could've said "The boy's hands wrapped around her cocoa brown wrist" or whatever. It's more of a stupid suggestion so don't fret over it. Oh, and when he left, there should've been an 'a' between the comma and scaly. Otherwise, awesome job!