for Demons and Angels1/18/2011 c1 
6Lillian Dooley
My first comment is that the story title is already taken. There is both a book and a movie title called "Angels and Demons" and I suggest finding a different name. My second comment is that this is a really really really short prologue and without the next chapter, it is hard to tell if it is a sufficient enough section. The ending is very strange and left me expecting a lot more. I am confused, but I am almost certain that that will clear up.
Good luck! It seems promising so far!
6Lillian DooleyMy first comment is that the story title is already taken. There is both a book and a movie title called "Angels and Demons" and I suggest finding a different name. My second comment is that this is a really really really short prologue and without the next chapter, it is hard to tell if it is a sufficient enough section. The ending is very strange and left me expecting a lot more. I am confused, but I am almost certain that that will clear up.
Good luck! It seems promising so far!
1/16/2011 c1 Alisa Crepsley
OMG! so good! wow! cant wait till chapter 1!
OMG! so good! wow! cant wait till chapter 1!
1/13/2011 c1 MarcusXD
nice job. or should it be evil? jk
write this story. its interesting. cant wait to read more of it
nice job. or should it be evil? jk
write this story. its interesting. cant wait to read more of it
1/13/2011 c1 misty
Omg! You're alive. Anyway, this could be longer. You could describe more about the mum's death. 'Her body went slack . . . eyes fluttered one last time . . .', etc. And you could describe the husband's expression more ('His fell, tears,etc.).
Omg! You're alive. Anyway, this could be longer. You could describe more about the mum's death. 'Her body went slack . . . eyes fluttered one last time . . .', etc. And you could describe the husband's expression more ('His fell, tears,etc.).