for This Confession2/2/2011 c1 
4HighOnBrokenWings
Hey there
So, I really like this prologue, it leaves us with a lot of mystery and questions. The characterization isn't strong in this, but that's okay, because it's only a short beginning to the story, and it would be ridiculous for anyone to really expect there to be amazingly developed characters in the first chapter. Also, the use of a prologue is often not for characterization, but rather as a snippet of the main plot. So, I think, from my guesses, that you've certainly done that :D Makes your readers wonder what's going to happen next.
One thing I think you may want to look over or change is the use of that whole 100km/hour thing. I wouldn't personally write it like that. I think your best bet is to stick with the full wording, (whether it's one hundred kilometres an hour, or with the number still put in (although, numbers 100 and under should really be written in full) I don't know what you prefer. That or stick with the completely abbreviated version (so 100kmph, or what ever). The hour on the end there seems a little out of place.
That's my only complaint though, the rest I really loved, and it has me intrigued! You shouldn't apologize for the ambiguity of your prologues, they're meant to be vague! It's the fun of them!
Keep writing, and I can't wait for an update :)
4HighOnBrokenWingsHey there
So, I really like this prologue, it leaves us with a lot of mystery and questions. The characterization isn't strong in this, but that's okay, because it's only a short beginning to the story, and it would be ridiculous for anyone to really expect there to be amazingly developed characters in the first chapter. Also, the use of a prologue is often not for characterization, but rather as a snippet of the main plot. So, I think, from my guesses, that you've certainly done that :D Makes your readers wonder what's going to happen next.
One thing I think you may want to look over or change is the use of that whole 100km/hour thing. I wouldn't personally write it like that. I think your best bet is to stick with the full wording, (whether it's one hundred kilometres an hour, or with the number still put in (although, numbers 100 and under should really be written in full) I don't know what you prefer. That or stick with the completely abbreviated version (so 100kmph, or what ever). The hour on the end there seems a little out of place.
That's my only complaint though, the rest I really loved, and it has me intrigued! You shouldn't apologize for the ambiguity of your prologues, they're meant to be vague! It's the fun of them!
Keep writing, and I can't wait for an update :)
1/20/2011 c1 1Richard Ravenford Ashecrofte
Interesting piece. I'd like to read more and see where it is going, as it doesn't really give much away just yet. It is slightly confusing, but still intriguing, which is a good thing. Depending on where it's going later you might want to add some more information to further drag the reader in.
You have four verbs in very quick succession here:
"The problem was that the eagle seemed to like to speed and travel over 60km/hour."
I don't think it's intended, and could be rewritten for clarity. Another thing is the "60km/hour" and "100km/hour" - I'd have written "sixty kilometers per hour. Maybe a hundred."
1Richard Ravenford AshecrofteInteresting piece. I'd like to read more and see where it is going, as it doesn't really give much away just yet. It is slightly confusing, but still intriguing, which is a good thing. Depending on where it's going later you might want to add some more information to further drag the reader in.
You have four verbs in very quick succession here:
"The problem was that the eagle seemed to like to speed and travel over 60km/hour."
I don't think it's intended, and could be rewritten for clarity. Another thing is the "60km/hour" and "100km/hour" - I'd have written "sixty kilometers per hour. Maybe a hundred."
1/20/2011 c1 gloria
interesting start. i want to read more xD
interesting start. i want to read more xD