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for Smoke and Mirrors

2/2/2011 c1 10Domina
You convey your point very nicely, well done.
1/31/2011 c1 18Open your eyes Chopstick
very simple and straight to the point. i could say it's very literal: the smoke is clouding one's way and the mirrors, like the maze of mirrors, confuses the person as they try to find their way out. Or, I could think more of an internal conflict, where the person is faced with some sort of problem and cant seem to see pass it; they're confused.

Anyways, good job. The short lines add a punch and the rymes was a nice touch. Well done.

Mind R&R my poem "Lies/Lifeline"? Thanks!
1/26/2011 c1 18Loss of Words
Quick, and simple. I like that. I like poetry that can convey an idea eloquently.

One thing I did not like, however, was your use of the line, "try as you may" - it felt too cliche. Longer poetry can get away with "standard" or "cliche" lines, but the shorter the poem, the more each word means.

Here's some food for thought: I've noticed that a lot of times, smoke and mirrors are used by a person on someone else. This poem seems to me to be an internal battle, rather external. If it's internal, try something more along the lines of self-delusion, and if it's external, make the "foe" more visible.

Otherwise, it's a fantastic start. I enjoyed it. :)
1/24/2011 c1 10Raebie
This is really good! I love the whole idea behind it.

You did a really good job with the rhyming too. I know that not all poems have to rhyme, but I just like them better when they do.

I do have one question though; Is the last line supposed to say "blind"? Because, "The blind too tight" seems odd, but maybe that's just me.

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