for The 'Gift' of Magic3/7/2013 c27 kerriefly
My first review with this new account! You should feel special. Admittedly I haven't read this in a while, and my memory is a bit hazy. I do however remember reading this on my ipod one lazy Sunday, curled up on the sofa, and being dragged in further every time I clicked 'next chapter'. By the last chapter I was waiting anxiously for the conclusion, for the answers to all those niggling questions, like who exactly is the man from his dreams? What does he want with Rek? And if Rek has got the man's magic, how did it get taken off the man in the first place? And then the author was evil and cruel and ended the story on the one of the worst cliffhangers of all time. Seriously, I distinctly remember wanting to shake the author for doing this to me, and then I remembered the author is one of my best friends and thus I'm not allowed to kill him. This does not however change the fact that there are important questions unanswered, and I anxiously await a sequel (I know where you live author, I will poke you until you write the damn sequel).
My first review with this new account! You should feel special. Admittedly I haven't read this in a while, and my memory is a bit hazy. I do however remember reading this on my ipod one lazy Sunday, curled up on the sofa, and being dragged in further every time I clicked 'next chapter'. By the last chapter I was waiting anxiously for the conclusion, for the answers to all those niggling questions, like who exactly is the man from his dreams? What does he want with Rek? And if Rek has got the man's magic, how did it get taken off the man in the first place? And then the author was evil and cruel and ended the story on the one of the worst cliffhangers of all time. Seriously, I distinctly remember wanting to shake the author for doing this to me, and then I remembered the author is one of my best friends and thus I'm not allowed to kill him. This does not however change the fact that there are important questions unanswered, and I anxiously await a sequel (I know where you live author, I will poke you until you write the damn sequel).
11/11/2012 c27 IgnoreAllMyOldReviews
Hahaha... So, I just stumbled back across your story after quite a while away. If my last review was anything to go by I was quite disappointed with the end. Guess ill give it a bit of a reread and see how I feel this time around.
Hahaha... So, I just stumbled back across your story after quite a while away. If my last review was anything to go by I was quite disappointed with the end. Guess ill give it a bit of a reread and see how I feel this time around.
12/11/2011 c27 yoyoyo7789
I want ice cream. GIVE ME ICE CREAM. :D
...
So anyway, yeah. This story was an absolutely fantabulous one. It had a great style, and tone, and it's left vast amount of room for you to build on in the future with more stories, if you chose to do so. :)
I would generally review by going through every little thing that I liked, on a normal day, but instead of doing that I'm going to do something a little special. I'm gonna argue with a few of the things that the person below me was talking about. No offence, person below me.
Point one: I get that you may not have enjoyed the cliff hanger. It happens. Personally, though, I did enjoy it. As did deadgummiegirl below you. I don't see any reason to feel that it was out of place. Maybe this was a point that you should have elaborated on, further? I'm struggling to see what your gripe is.
Point two: You're complaining about the title. The title. ...really? It could be relating to something that will only become obvious in the follow up story. Y'know, I've found that the fantasy genre, and it's horde of fantastical authors, generally like to screw with the reader as often as they can. It's fun for everybody involved. You don't need to know the purpose of everything right now - even the chapter titles - because it will all become apparant eventually. That's the joy of purposefully convuluted storytelling. No? Anyways, I don't know about you, but I have a couple of inclings into what, exactly, Darius' gift may have been.
Point 3: the antagonist wasn't thrown in at the end for a last minute, unnecessary conflict. He's been there since the start. Or...maybe you forgot? He's been pulling a certain amount of strings the whole time, and one of the key things adding suspense to the journey is that we didn't know when Rek and friends were going to finally bump into him, and what was gonna come of it all. Maybe you didn't like that, or pick up on that, or whatever. But, again, this comes back down to opinion. The final conflict made the ending so much better in my eyes.
As for the point about Rek...well, I always considered this to be a story with two main characters, as opposed to one. Rek AND Darius. No criticism there. Both of their stories were full and complete, and told in different ways. Maybe you related more to Darius, or latched onto his character more, or something. It's different for everybody. Personally, I found myself seeing Rek as more of a main character. But again, I tihnk they both fit that role.
I'm sure that Danzi will take your review into account. And he should do. But I'd suggest that he shouldn't take all that you say too seriously. There are always fans who are disappointed by the endings of stories. That doesn't mean the ending was bad, or that it needs re-working; it means it wasn't to that particular fan's taste. That's all.
Then again, I'm sure that you'd suggest he don't take my complments too seriously either. To each their own, GreenKid.
Danzi, I would HIGHLY, HIGHLY, HIGHLY advise that you stay happy, and don't let yourself get discouraged. Look at each point that GreenKid made, but don't automatically assume that each point is the correct point. There isn't a right or wrong in this case. There is a matter of opinion.
Loved the ending. Loved the story. And I'm sure I'm gonna love the next one. Don't keep us waiting too long, ya hear? ;)
Much love.
Moosey. :) xxxxx
I want ice cream. GIVE ME ICE CREAM. :D
...
So anyway, yeah. This story was an absolutely fantabulous one. It had a great style, and tone, and it's left vast amount of room for you to build on in the future with more stories, if you chose to do so. :)
I would generally review by going through every little thing that I liked, on a normal day, but instead of doing that I'm going to do something a little special. I'm gonna argue with a few of the things that the person below me was talking about. No offence, person below me.
Point one: I get that you may not have enjoyed the cliff hanger. It happens. Personally, though, I did enjoy it. As did deadgummiegirl below you. I don't see any reason to feel that it was out of place. Maybe this was a point that you should have elaborated on, further? I'm struggling to see what your gripe is.
Point two: You're complaining about the title. The title. ...really? It could be relating to something that will only become obvious in the follow up story. Y'know, I've found that the fantasy genre, and it's horde of fantastical authors, generally like to screw with the reader as often as they can. It's fun for everybody involved. You don't need to know the purpose of everything right now - even the chapter titles - because it will all become apparant eventually. That's the joy of purposefully convuluted storytelling. No? Anyways, I don't know about you, but I have a couple of inclings into what, exactly, Darius' gift may have been.
Point 3: the antagonist wasn't thrown in at the end for a last minute, unnecessary conflict. He's been there since the start. Or...maybe you forgot? He's been pulling a certain amount of strings the whole time, and one of the key things adding suspense to the journey is that we didn't know when Rek and friends were going to finally bump into him, and what was gonna come of it all. Maybe you didn't like that, or pick up on that, or whatever. But, again, this comes back down to opinion. The final conflict made the ending so much better in my eyes.
As for the point about Rek...well, I always considered this to be a story with two main characters, as opposed to one. Rek AND Darius. No criticism there. Both of their stories were full and complete, and told in different ways. Maybe you related more to Darius, or latched onto his character more, or something. It's different for everybody. Personally, I found myself seeing Rek as more of a main character. But again, I tihnk they both fit that role.
I'm sure that Danzi will take your review into account. And he should do. But I'd suggest that he shouldn't take all that you say too seriously. There are always fans who are disappointed by the endings of stories. That doesn't mean the ending was bad, or that it needs re-working; it means it wasn't to that particular fan's taste. That's all.
Then again, I'm sure that you'd suggest he don't take my complments too seriously either. To each their own, GreenKid.
Danzi, I would HIGHLY, HIGHLY, HIGHLY advise that you stay happy, and don't let yourself get discouraged. Look at each point that GreenKid made, but don't automatically assume that each point is the correct point. There isn't a right or wrong in this case. There is a matter of opinion.
Loved the ending. Loved the story. And I'm sure I'm gonna love the next one. Don't keep us waiting too long, ya hear? ;)
Much love.
Moosey. :) xxxxx
12/11/2011 c27 GreenKidX
Wow. So, I enjoyed this story, the characters and most of the plotting. However, I am sorely disappointed in the last three or so chapters. Thusly completely drop the tone of the previous chapters. Not to mention the "Cliff Hanger" ending was just out of place, it felt thrown in for the sake of throwing it in. You name the last chapter Darius's gift but you don't actually reveal Darius's gift or even provide enough clues to guess what it might be. However, my greatest gripe is that NOT ONE of the major plot lines from the story got resolved. In the second to last chapter you throw in a new character/antagonist and spend precious time spoon feeding this new unnecessary conflict and then resolving that. I was very very dissatisfied after staying with this story for so long. Can I also point out that your summary makes me think you believe this to be a story about Rek... And maybe at times it is. However, it ultimately ends up telling a more complete and satisfying story about Darius, with Rek only serving as a plot device. All in all, good work. Although, I would HIGHLY, HIGHLY, HIGHLY advise reworking the end.
Wow. So, I enjoyed this story, the characters and most of the plotting. However, I am sorely disappointed in the last three or so chapters. Thusly completely drop the tone of the previous chapters. Not to mention the "Cliff Hanger" ending was just out of place, it felt thrown in for the sake of throwing it in. You name the last chapter Darius's gift but you don't actually reveal Darius's gift or even provide enough clues to guess what it might be. However, my greatest gripe is that NOT ONE of the major plot lines from the story got resolved. In the second to last chapter you throw in a new character/antagonist and spend precious time spoon feeding this new unnecessary conflict and then resolving that. I was very very dissatisfied after staying with this story for so long. Can I also point out that your summary makes me think you believe this to be a story about Rek... And maybe at times it is. However, it ultimately ends up telling a more complete and satisfying story about Darius, with Rek only serving as a plot device. All in all, good work. Although, I would HIGHLY, HIGHLY, HIGHLY advise reworking the end.
9/17/2011 c1 
1Miryo
I like it a lot. Your writing style is flawless. I think I could take a few pointers from you!
- miryo
1MiryoI like it a lot. Your writing style is flawless. I think I could take a few pointers from you!
- miryo
9/3/2011 c9 6Telephonic
I really like that Rek isn't great at magic right off the bat. It makes him believable and is also a great way to help explain the magic to your readers. Very nice.
["My God you have no imagination child. I was going to try teaching you some more tonight but I'm going to go to sleep and let you figure this one out."] Heehee, way to go Rek. Yeah.. I basically love Darius.
6TelephonicI really like that Rek isn't great at magic right off the bat. It makes him believable and is also a great way to help explain the magic to your readers. Very nice.
["My God you have no imagination child. I was going to try teaching you some more tonight but I'm going to go to sleep and let you figure this one out."] Heehee, way to go Rek. Yeah.. I basically love Darius.
9/3/2011 c8 Telephonic
I especially like reading the parts where Darius is explaining magic. It just makes the magic feel all the more real. I also think Darius is just awesomeX10. He's got loads of character and still manages to be mysterious. Well done.
I especially like reading the parts where Darius is explaining magic. It just makes the magic feel all the more real. I also think Darius is just awesomeX10. He's got loads of character and still manages to be mysterious. Well done.
9/3/2011 c7 Telephonic
I like the direction the story has taken. Haha, Atia has an interesting way of saying hello.
I like the direction the story has taken. Haha, Atia has an interesting way of saying hello.
9/2/2011 c27 deadgummiegirl
I finally got through the story! I loved how you ended it with the cliffy. I can't wait for the sequel to see what happens to Rek and Atia.
So overall it was a very good story that I enjoyed reading. It has a good plot, realistic and well rounded characters, and your setting was awesome. There were some parts that I was puzzled about or I thought were rushed, but it's your story so I respect your choices:) I will be waiting for that sequel you promised!
I finally got through the story! I loved how you ended it with the cliffy. I can't wait for the sequel to see what happens to Rek and Atia.
So overall it was a very good story that I enjoyed reading. It has a good plot, realistic and well rounded characters, and your setting was awesome. There were some parts that I was puzzled about or I thought were rushed, but it's your story so I respect your choices:) I will be waiting for that sequel you promised!
9/1/2011 c26 deadgummiegirl
Oh no, not Darius! That was horrible! I did not want that to happen! And when I say it's horrible, I mean it's awesome in a depressing sort of way. lol.
And let me just say the way you wrote the final showdown, I could feel the tension and anger in the room.
Oh no, not Darius! That was horrible! I did not want that to happen! And when I say it's horrible, I mean it's awesome in a depressing sort of way. lol.
And let me just say the way you wrote the final showdown, I could feel the tension and anger in the room.
9/1/2011 c25 deadgummiegirl
Poor Rek. He's stuck in a cell with only days to live and no way to stop it. And I liked Darius' little story. Even though it was kind of pointless, but hey it passed some time;)
Poor Rek. He's stuck in a cell with only days to live and no way to stop it. And I liked Darius' little story. Even though it was kind of pointless, but hey it passed some time;)
8/28/2011 c24 deadgummiegirl
I like this Sengar guy. Of course the main characters of a story have to be good, but I think without a good supporting cast stories just aren't all that they could be. But you're good with the smaller characters, like Sengar and the boat crew.
I was really surprised by Darius' age. 900 years old! That's crazy. And then Sengar just flies off the mountain's edge with Atia. I'm guessing they're alright. This was a pretty cool chapter:)
I like this Sengar guy. Of course the main characters of a story have to be good, but I think without a good supporting cast stories just aren't all that they could be. But you're good with the smaller characters, like Sengar and the boat crew.
I was really surprised by Darius' age. 900 years old! That's crazy. And then Sengar just flies off the mountain's edge with Atia. I'm guessing they're alright. This was a pretty cool chapter:)
8/28/2011 c23 deadgummiegirl
I think I've said this a couple of times before you're so good at describing the scenery. Just reading about the Myan Arc; the mountains, the different levels, the stairs, it made me dizzy just thinking about the height!
Poor Rek. There's gotta be something that can save him.
I think I've said this a couple of times before you're so good at describing the scenery. Just reading about the Myan Arc; the mountains, the different levels, the stairs, it made me dizzy just thinking about the height!
Poor Rek. There's gotta be something that can save him.