for The 'Gift' of Magic8/19/2011 c2 
7SJR
I liked the idea of 'Curies' it added depth to the story like you've really thought about it before you set metaphorical pen to paper.
Also: 'Frage' as a name suited the character perfectly. You seem to be very good at that.
And finally, I appreciated the fact that your main character, at first light at least, is in no way special or chosen. He's just in the wrong place and the wrong time.
There is a quick typo I thought I'd point out, if you don't mind?
'your no good comatose' requires a "'re" and a full stop
Anyways - I'm off to read chapter 2
7SJRI liked the idea of 'Curies' it added depth to the story like you've really thought about it before you set metaphorical pen to paper.
Also: 'Frage' as a name suited the character perfectly. You seem to be very good at that.
And finally, I appreciated the fact that your main character, at first light at least, is in no way special or chosen. He's just in the wrong place and the wrong time.
There is a quick typo I thought I'd point out, if you don't mind?
'your no good comatose' requires a "'re" and a full stop
Anyways - I'm off to read chapter 2
8/19/2011 c19 31HeroofEnelios
I would feel exactly like Rek did in this chapter when Atia and Darius were getting along, that would scare anyone. Well, it's that they weren't so friendly with each other before. A bit weird. Nice pun, and nice way of getting readers wanting to read more with your note. Nice chapter.
31HeroofEneliosI would feel exactly like Rek did in this chapter when Atia and Darius were getting along, that would scare anyone. Well, it's that they weren't so friendly with each other before. A bit weird. Nice pun, and nice way of getting readers wanting to read more with your note. Nice chapter.
8/19/2011 c1 7SJR
I thought I'd make your day ;) To be quite honest I didn't want to review because I just want to read the next chapter which is a good enough sign in itself surely? But you persuaded me lol.
It took me a couple of paragraphs to get into it but by the end I was really enjoying it. For some reason I really like Ki already, perhaps I just like the name. Some of the larger paragraphs could have been separated perhaps as they were a little confusing: I think with normal formatting it would have been ok though but on FP it made it a little difficult to comprehend.
All in all though, an enjoyable read.
7SJRI thought I'd make your day ;) To be quite honest I didn't want to review because I just want to read the next chapter which is a good enough sign in itself surely? But you persuaded me lol.
It took me a couple of paragraphs to get into it but by the end I was really enjoying it. For some reason I really like Ki already, perhaps I just like the name. Some of the larger paragraphs could have been separated perhaps as they were a little confusing: I think with normal formatting it would have been ok though but on FP it made it a little difficult to comprehend.
All in all though, an enjoyable read.
8/19/2011 c18 31HeroofEnelios
The whole time this huge intense experience Rek is going through with the Focci Darius at the end is like, oh don't worry he'll be fine. It's a horrible experience. As odd as that sounded, it was pretty funny. :)
Great job there.
31HeroofEneliosThe whole time this huge intense experience Rek is going through with the Focci Darius at the end is like, oh don't worry he'll be fine. It's a horrible experience. As odd as that sounded, it was pretty funny. :)
Great job there.
8/19/2011 c17 HeroofEnelios
I apologize for not reviewing for a while, somehow completely slipped my mind. Oh well, back to reading this story... :)
I laughed when Darius, Rek and Atia were all laughing and then Darius tried to get them to stop. Ahh it is contagious indeed. Well done.
I apologize for not reviewing for a while, somehow completely slipped my mind. Oh well, back to reading this story... :)
I laughed when Darius, Rek and Atia were all laughing and then Darius tried to get them to stop. Ahh it is contagious indeed. Well done.
8/18/2011 c26 yoyoyo7789
Well, sad as it may have been, this was certainly one of my favourite chapters of the lot.
Ahem...what really stuck out for me was just how much emotion you packed into that. I was getting tingles all over the place - and this isn't the first time I've read the chapter, mind you! Nice stuff!
Also, I'm shivering with antici...
...
...pation. I want to find out what happens next. ;)
Sorry the review is short - I feel a little distracted right now. In short, this was awesome. I can't wait for the final chapter! :D
Well, sad as it may have been, this was certainly one of my favourite chapters of the lot.
Ahem...what really stuck out for me was just how much emotion you packed into that. I was getting tingles all over the place - and this isn't the first time I've read the chapter, mind you! Nice stuff!
Also, I'm shivering with antici...
...
...pation. I want to find out what happens next. ;)
Sorry the review is short - I feel a little distracted right now. In short, this was awesome. I can't wait for the final chapter! :D
8/17/2011 c26 WereMagi
Add a warning to the start fop the chapter to have tissues handy. I'm in my VET IT class and I have to fake an elaborate story to why I am teary.
Add a warning to the start fop the chapter to have tissues handy. I'm in my VET IT class and I have to fake an elaborate story to why I am teary.
8/15/2011 c11 deadgummiegirl
I enjoy how nervous Rek unknowingly makes Darius. Since the magic he has isn't actually his, it should make sense to Darius that it's not really under control. I think Rek is going to cause some serious damage to someone or something soon;)
I enjoy how nervous Rek unknowingly makes Darius. Since the magic he has isn't actually his, it should make sense to Darius that it's not really under control. I think Rek is going to cause some serious damage to someone or something soon;)
8/15/2011 c10 deadgummiegirl
Good chapter, but when everyone found out about their magic it seemed kind of off. Maybe I'm just nitpicking but the captain kind of just waved it off. I have a feeling it has to do with the plot in future chapters and maybe with Atia. I hope it does:) I like her character even though she's not a big part of the story.
Good chapter, but when everyone found out about their magic it seemed kind of off. Maybe I'm just nitpicking but the captain kind of just waved it off. I have a feeling it has to do with the plot in future chapters and maybe with Atia. I hope it does:) I like her character even though she's not a big part of the story.
8/15/2011 c6 6Telephonic
I thought the description of the steamship was pretty cool!
The characters on the coal barge look very promising. How exciting!
6TelephonicI thought the description of the steamship was pretty cool!
The characters on the coal barge look very promising. How exciting!
8/15/2011 c5 Telephonic
[[He felt for the weirdness in his head that he'd felt since he had woken up.]]
This sentence is a little awkward sounding. You might want to reword it so 'felt' isn't in there twice. Sometimes repeating a word in a sentence can make it sound redundant, even if it isn't.
I really enjoy the way you're able to bring a reader into the story (I know, I've said this before. But its a wonderful thing to be able to do so I'll just keep on saying it.). The way you describe Rek's thoughts as he's falling, the indecision and the realization of power makes me feel like I'm doing all of it with him.
Haha, I love Darius. He's a great character and seems to be a remarkable actor as well. =o I find him very entertaining. Great Chapter.
[[He felt for the weirdness in his head that he'd felt since he had woken up.]]
This sentence is a little awkward sounding. You might want to reword it so 'felt' isn't in there twice. Sometimes repeating a word in a sentence can make it sound redundant, even if it isn't.
I really enjoy the way you're able to bring a reader into the story (I know, I've said this before. But its a wonderful thing to be able to do so I'll just keep on saying it.). The way you describe Rek's thoughts as he's falling, the indecision and the realization of power makes me feel like I'm doing all of it with him.
Haha, I love Darius. He's a great character and seems to be a remarkable actor as well. =o I find him very entertaining. Great Chapter.
8/14/2011 c9 deadgummiegirl
The whole paragraph about how Rek was having so much fun the first time he played around with his magic was my favorite part. He just seemed so happy and it was nice to see him act like a kid again.
I also love the mentor/student relationship between Darius and Rek. I like how Darius gives Rek a little bit of hope and insight but not enough to really help him to much. He just loves screwing with the boys mind!
The whole paragraph about how Rek was having so much fun the first time he played around with his magic was my favorite part. He just seemed so happy and it was nice to see him act like a kid again.
I also love the mentor/student relationship between Darius and Rek. I like how Darius gives Rek a little bit of hope and insight but not enough to really help him to much. He just loves screwing with the boys mind!
8/14/2011 c8 deadgummiegirl
I'm glad Rek is getting the hang of the magic. But Darius could cut him some slack, after all he was just thrust into all this without a choice.
I'm glad Rek is getting the hang of the magic. But Darius could cut him some slack, after all he was just thrust into all this without a choice.
8/14/2011 c7 deadgummiegirl
Lovin' the girl power! Lol. I feel sorry for Rek. Poor kid just killed a guy. I hope things get better for him.
Lovin' the girl power! Lol. I feel sorry for Rek. Poor kid just killed a guy. I hope things get better for him.
8/14/2011 c6 deadgummiegirl
I love the turn of events. I actually thought that they would still be running through the city. Getting a look into Darius's head was great too. I hope we get more of his point-of-view soon. And him being bossed around by a woman was awesome.
I love the turn of events. I actually thought that they would still be running through the city. Getting a look into Darius's head was great too. I hope we get more of his point-of-view soon. And him being bossed around by a woman was awesome.