for Mirror2/6/2011 c1 Punslinger
This is enjoyable to read as a poem. But it's hard to judge it as a song without hearing the music. I like your rhymes, especially "My mistakes always become clearer/Every time I look in the mirror." That conveys a lot of meaning with few words.
This is enjoyable to read as a poem. But it's hard to judge it as a song without hearing the music. I like your rhymes, especially "My mistakes always become clearer/Every time I look in the mirror." That conveys a lot of meaning with few words.
2/6/2011 c1 
18Open your eyes Chopstick
i liked the last two lines of the poem. it brings everyrthing sorta crashing down. very simple. nicely done. :)
The only think i thought was weird was the *?* in the poem. Why did you use the stars? Interesting, but left me go out of the flow of the poem you were working up.
18Open your eyes Chopsticki liked the last two lines of the poem. it brings everyrthing sorta crashing down. very simple. nicely done. :)
The only think i thought was weird was the *?* in the poem. Why did you use the stars? Interesting, but left me go out of the flow of the poem you were working up.