for I had a dream8/9/2012 c1 MMASK
Beautiful. I love the way you made the reader feel the difference between reality and fairytales although it's quite sad.
Beautiful. I love the way you made the reader feel the difference between reality and fairytales although it's quite sad.
1/30/2012 c1 
8Dark Blue Lover
Hope things are better for you now and you can dream again!
A piece full of sorrow, but definitely strong, with powerful imagery. I can only praise you for speaking so openly about the situation in your homeland, and at sixteen years of age especially – nice to see people care, somehow.
"If I try to tell you of what I've seen, you'd vanish and fade away." Painful but powerful line, perhaps my favourite in this whole piece.
Once again, hope things are better for you now, and you've got my admiration for expressing this!
8Dark Blue LoverHope things are better for you now and you can dream again!
A piece full of sorrow, but definitely strong, with powerful imagery. I can only praise you for speaking so openly about the situation in your homeland, and at sixteen years of age especially – nice to see people care, somehow.
"If I try to tell you of what I've seen, you'd vanish and fade away." Painful but powerful line, perhaps my favourite in this whole piece.
Once again, hope things are better for you now, and you've got my admiration for expressing this!
11/30/2011 c1 1J112011
Hope things are going better for you now than nearly nine months ago and you can sleep again. This piece is full of sorrow but I know how you feel. Yes, sixteen-year-olds shouldn't have to worry about regimes changing, but that's how it goes sometimes.
Once again - I hope you can dream again. Dreams are important.
1J112011Hope things are going better for you now than nearly nine months ago and you can sleep again. This piece is full of sorrow but I know how you feel. Yes, sixteen-year-olds shouldn't have to worry about regimes changing, but that's how it goes sometimes.
Once again - I hope you can dream again. Dreams are important.
5/31/2011 c1 Sakura Reyna
This is an exceptionally strong way to express your opinions about the situation in your homeland. I praise you for speaking out on it. I don't know what the civilians of Egypt now are thinking about thier government, and I do hope that they get a say in how its run now, but I admire thier strength and courage. I wonder how much of the Middle East this is affecting. I hope we can find peace soon. On another note, if it wasn't for your note at the end of this piece, I'd think you were talking to your characters for a story, apologizing for abandoning your imagination. Keep dreaming far beyond the limits of the world.
This is an exceptionally strong way to express your opinions about the situation in your homeland. I praise you for speaking out on it. I don't know what the civilians of Egypt now are thinking about thier government, and I do hope that they get a say in how its run now, but I admire thier strength and courage. I wonder how much of the Middle East this is affecting. I hope we can find peace soon. On another note, if it wasn't for your note at the end of this piece, I'd think you were talking to your characters for a story, apologizing for abandoning your imagination. Keep dreaming far beyond the limits of the world.
2/28/2011 c1 13The Whippoorwill
An almost sixteen year old talking politics with her friends? Now that's what I'm talking about :)
It's nice to see people care about more than their iPods and branded jeans. This was composed beautifully. I just wish more people would be interested in the things that matter. The truth is, everyone builds a little shell and is content inside it. But this, tis made me take notice.
13The WhippoorwillAn almost sixteen year old talking politics with her friends? Now that's what I'm talking about :)
It's nice to see people care about more than their iPods and branded jeans. This was composed beautifully. I just wish more people would be interested in the things that matter. The truth is, everyone builds a little shell and is content inside it. But this, tis made me take notice.
2/19/2011 c1 2063M2R
I don't know the context, but i feel the anguish.
'in the place where I live, genies don't visit at all because death angels are gogging up the space.' powerful imagery.
I like how you explain the amount of pain and gore by saying 'if i try to tell you of what I've seen, you'd vanish and fade away.' That's the power of the destruction you are seeing. Power of the despair that is packed in every image.
Back to the beginning. I don't how to put my thoughts into words, I'll try. I really liked that last part of the first line, 'dog-eared fairytales' sounds pretty cute. Like it has to be remembered. sweet little non-existent memories because they have been burnt and devoured by war and fear.
Okay I'm using too much of I likes. Okay, I shall use I love, no absolutely love, for a change. I absolutely love how you try to bring the characters to 'life'. It's really true though, that it's the darkness that teaches, it's the grief and agony that matures the innocent.
2063M2RI don't know the context, but i feel the anguish.
'in the place where I live, genies don't visit at all because death angels are gogging up the space.' powerful imagery.
I like how you explain the amount of pain and gore by saying 'if i try to tell you of what I've seen, you'd vanish and fade away.' That's the power of the destruction you are seeing. Power of the despair that is packed in every image.
Back to the beginning. I don't how to put my thoughts into words, I'll try. I really liked that last part of the first line, 'dog-eared fairytales' sounds pretty cute. Like it has to be remembered. sweet little non-existent memories because they have been burnt and devoured by war and fear.
Okay I'm using too much of I likes. Okay, I shall use I love, no absolutely love, for a change. I absolutely love how you try to bring the characters to 'life'. It's really true though, that it's the darkness that teaches, it's the grief and agony that matures the innocent.
2/6/2011 c1 Punslinger
The painful sensitivity of your poem would still have power even without the tragic situation in the middle east. Unfortunately, we can't be sure that when Mubarak leaves,he won't be replaceed by something worse.
The painful sensitivity of your poem would still have power even without the tragic situation in the middle east. Unfortunately, we can't be sure that when Mubarak leaves,he won't be replaceed by something worse.