for The Boy Who Eats Hearts3/5/2011 c7 PJ Draft
Another great chapher! Can't wait for the next. :) I love Georgiana's character thus far. She is so spicy. Anyways, I have no other comments. Aside from I am kinda obessessed with this story right now. :) Update soon. -PJ
Another great chapher! Can't wait for the next. :) I love Georgiana's character thus far. She is so spicy. Anyways, I have no other comments. Aside from I am kinda obessessed with this story right now. :) Update soon. -PJ
3/5/2011 c7 
5I Can Breathe
I think we all suspected something was going to happen to make Georgiana burst - there's only so much anyone can take and she felt threatened. I think there has to be something that will make Georgiana want to seek help - she has to want to change because it's not going to be easy to let go of what she finds comfort in like food and bullying to a degree. Perhaps convincing herself that she could help her mother find treatment for alcoholism or stopping her sister's bullying could convince her but I doubt it. I think that's one of the most important things she has to do in order to change.
5I Can BreatheI think we all suspected something was going to happen to make Georgiana burst - there's only so much anyone can take and she felt threatened. I think there has to be something that will make Georgiana want to seek help - she has to want to change because it's not going to be easy to let go of what she finds comfort in like food and bullying to a degree. Perhaps convincing herself that she could help her mother find treatment for alcoholism or stopping her sister's bullying could convince her but I doubt it. I think that's one of the most important things she has to do in order to change.
2/27/2011 c6 3A Dreamer Always
And here's where the gettin' gets good! XD Can't wait for the next chapter!
3A Dreamer AlwaysAnd here's where the gettin' gets good! XD Can't wait for the next chapter!
2/25/2011 c6 7MsMellowMint
The last sentence was pretty good, well executed.
I've noticed something about how you describe your characters... You spend a lot of time emphasizing qualities that readers most likely already know or would have figured out as they read on.
Reading leaves a lot to the imagination. Giving thorough descriptions is a crucial part of writing, but an overload of details is unnessesary. It gives off the slightest vibe that you are trying to make it longer than needed and filling up space.
I feel that you can try and simplify some of... anything. This is just some thoughts, but I hope they help. :)
7MsMellowMintThe last sentence was pretty good, well executed.
I've noticed something about how you describe your characters... You spend a lot of time emphasizing qualities that readers most likely already know or would have figured out as they read on.
Reading leaves a lot to the imagination. Giving thorough descriptions is a crucial part of writing, but an overload of details is unnessesary. It gives off the slightest vibe that you are trying to make it longer than needed and filling up space.
I feel that you can try and simplify some of... anything. This is just some thoughts, but I hope they help. :)
2/24/2011 c6 PJ Draft
What will happen next? You must update soon! Anyways, lovely chapter. The story is picking up again. Can't wait to read more.Funny line: "Perfection disturbed her" So true. Pretty people are hard to look at sometimes. Georgiana is actually quite charming despite her flawed personality. Even Micah feels like a real person because he has his own set of flaws as well. :) I do love when authors write up characters who feel like actual people. Keep it up! I can't wait to read more soon! -PJ
What will happen next? You must update soon! Anyways, lovely chapter. The story is picking up again. Can't wait to read more.Funny line: "Perfection disturbed her" So true. Pretty people are hard to look at sometimes. Georgiana is actually quite charming despite her flawed personality. Even Micah feels like a real person because he has his own set of flaws as well. :) I do love when authors write up characters who feel like actual people. Keep it up! I can't wait to read more soon! -PJ
2/24/2011 c6 5I Can Breathe
I feel like Micah needs to start interfering a lot more. Georgiana's transformation should mostly fall in the hands of Micah but Destiny and Taylor should be more of the supporting group. Destiny should help her stand up to people while Taylor should help her diet. I wish Micah would start seeing her more as a person than a monster or animal like he did when he noticed her features.
I'm looking forward to Georgiana's chapter.
5I Can BreatheI feel like Micah needs to start interfering a lot more. Georgiana's transformation should mostly fall in the hands of Micah but Destiny and Taylor should be more of the supporting group. Destiny should help her stand up to people while Taylor should help her diet. I wish Micah would start seeing her more as a person than a monster or animal like he did when he noticed her features.
I'm looking forward to Georgiana's chapter.
2/20/2011 c5 7MsMellowMint
Of course Micah couldn't possibly be that selfless. Charlotte being thrown into the mix wasn't a bad move. I'm getting interested in Taylor, whereas with Georgiana, I've already lost all hope.
Destiny... We'll see.
Nice job, I'm waiting for the next chapter.
(Ice cream's my weak point too.)
7MsMellowMintOf course Micah couldn't possibly be that selfless. Charlotte being thrown into the mix wasn't a bad move. I'm getting interested in Taylor, whereas with Georgiana, I've already lost all hope.
Destiny... We'll see.
Nice job, I'm waiting for the next chapter.
(Ice cream's my weak point too.)
2/19/2011 c5 PJ Draft
Love it! Actually, commenting on your A/N I do believe all stories lag at certain points. It is difficult to deliver needed knowledge while ALSO pushing the story forward... I would offer tips, however, it's more of a skill and I can't teach what I don't know. :) Wish I had a solution to offer for you though! Story wise, I know you know I love this story-I say this in every review because it's how I feel. Feeling is truth. (Personal truth at least!) I don't have any comments except I think I spotted a typo, however, my eyes hurt so I might have imagined it. Looking back I can't really find it. Aside from the techy stuff, I love what you are building between your characters! I feel this perceived lag you feel is persisting is starting to break. The last line in this chapter is a perfect way to push the story forward. I am excited for the next chapter! Update when you can!
Love it! Actually, commenting on your A/N I do believe all stories lag at certain points. It is difficult to deliver needed knowledge while ALSO pushing the story forward... I would offer tips, however, it's more of a skill and I can't teach what I don't know. :) Wish I had a solution to offer for you though! Story wise, I know you know I love this story-I say this in every review because it's how I feel. Feeling is truth. (Personal truth at least!) I don't have any comments except I think I spotted a typo, however, my eyes hurt so I might have imagined it. Looking back I can't really find it. Aside from the techy stuff, I love what you are building between your characters! I feel this perceived lag you feel is persisting is starting to break. The last line in this chapter is a perfect way to push the story forward. I am excited for the next chapter! Update when you can!