4/30/2012 c6 1Muphys Hate Mail
I loved this story. :)

3/22/2011 c9 MidCat
Excellent Story! I was glued from the very beginning and could not stop until I was finished!

The characters, setting and story were all excellent, the plot was original and I don't think I have ever read something even similar to it, which is hard now a days when everyone seems to be writing about the same thing, just with a few differences here and there.

The only problem I found, -which I don't believe is something that detracts from the overall enjoyment- was that sometimes it was a bit hard to follow the transitions between one setting and another, I don't know if it is the formatting of the site or the way you chose to write the story, but at times 2 different scenes seemed to blur between each other, making me feel a bit confused. Perhaps a line, a couple of paragraph breaks, or something that denotes the end of one situation and the beginning of another would make it easier?

As I said before, I consider this an excellent story, full of action and with a very original plot! I can honestly say that the pace didn't feel rushed, nor did it drag with pointless situations or dialog. It was thoroughly enjoyed from beginning to end.

Also, as a small consideration to the readers who are not familiar with the original story or characters, perhaps a small description and background tidbits while mentioning a character would allow your new readers to become more acclimated with what is going on, and provide them with a way to follow the story a little bit better.

As it was my case, this was the very first story I read from you, and it was very difficult to me to follow what was going on because it felt like I was missing so much information and I didn't know what role each of the characters played and any of the background regarding what was going on.

It took me reading the entire story to piece 95% of the background story together, but it would have been so much better if there was a small tidbit of info.

For example, when Dusty comes back from the gym and answers the phone call from Toni, I didn't know if Tony was an assistant, a friend, an informant, or a family member. I would have loved to know if he was young, old, and how long have they worked, known each other, etc. And if he was an assistant or friend, where did he work, or how did he fit with the character of Dusty.

The way I picture it, it could be something like this:

*

The moment he returned from the gym, his phone rang. The display told him it was Tony, his young assistant, who had a keen ability to locate people or information in even the darkest of places.

"Where Toni?" he answered

*

In just those 2 lines, it was established that Toni worked for Dusty, was a young person, and he was obviously looking for something or someone and was about to provide some sort of information or give an update regarding something.

Now the secondary character has a background and the reader doesn't have to rake their brain trying to figure out if this is a principal character, and what role do they play in the story.

Wow. I never meant to write a whole critique of your story. I am so sorry!

I guess that in conclusion all I wanted to say is that I really enjoyed your story, it was a bit difficult to understand at some points because I was a new reader, and I found myself lost more than once, but overall, it was great!

Thank you for writing and sharing!

Midnight Cat

2/28/2011 c9 yakirra
Really enjoyed part two and I like how you introduced the focus to Dusty and Bianca from Damian and Sofi. I'm enjoying the whole battle between the Guardians and the Vamps and hope you continue with that. I want to see what kind of Black God Jonny will be.

The formatting of the story is alot easier to read with the inclusion of the separated chapters, so kudos for that.

Thankyou for this evenings entertainment and I look forward to future works! Very talented lady :)

2/23/2011 c9 4Wolf Princess girl
That was such a good story! Lol vampire pigs XD that idea was really clever! I loved it all! But poor johnny :( him being the dark lord sucks for everyone! Yay! Noone else died, and it was a (kinda) happy ending! I loved the relationship between dusty and bianca. It was beautiful how their love bloomed!

I'd love a sequel, it's just an idea but I think it would be cool if the vamps and gardians united against something!

Any way, coclusion: a strong interesting plotline that could sometimes be confuzzling that was supported by a cast of well thought and developed characters.

2/22/2011 c9 6Charlotte94
Absolutely amazing, started to cry at the end out of happiness and possibly tiredness since for me it's like 00:46.

Amazing sequel, I am recommending it to all my book-loving friends and my brother who also likes this sort of thing.

Don't know if it's possible to do another sequel but if you can, please please please do one? It would just be completely awesome!

I love this - Just in case you hadn't noticed.