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for My Heaven

10/21/2011 c3 29audbuaod
Just a couple of comments: When you change perspectives (From 1st person to third person)you need to make it a clearer transition, just by marking out new sections with line or something. Also, keep it up! I'm enjoying it so far and I can't wait to see what happens :D
2/21/2011 c1 5RelapseWarrior
The only real errors I could see were "me"s where "my"s should be. I recommomend finding a beta to review.

I absolutely love the storyline though, fasinating. I'll be on the look out for the next chapter!
2/20/2011 c1 sydney420
Wow this isn't cliche at all. I really enjoyed the story, it's refreshing. Please continue! The only thing I noticed was a couple of grammer and mis-spelling errors. But if you want, I'd be happy to help. You could send me your chapter's before you put them up and I'd be happy to proof read them and correct them before you post them.
2/20/2011 c1 5Disney Is Hardcore
Im not sure, but i thought that someone had to be missing for 24 hours or something before being declared missing?

Also, you often use 'me' instead of 'my', 'ya' instead of 'yeah'- is this for any particular reason?

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