for Divine Intervention :former title: Ashes to Ashes4/3/2012 c6 UnusedAccount22
Again, another good story. This is very interesting, it reminds me of Dogma when it comes to humour, and that's a good thing.
Again, another good story. This is very interesting, it reminds me of Dogma when it comes to humour, and that's a good thing.
11/17/2011 c6 
3Chantel Royal
I love this! It's very intriging and interesting. It totally reminds me of my favourite show, though it's not the exact same or anything, so no worries. Update soon please :)
3Chantel RoyalI love this! It's very intriging and interesting. It totally reminds me of my favourite show, though it's not the exact same or anything, so no worries. Update soon please :)
8/7/2011 c4 The Not-So-Big Cheese
This is just amazing. I've gotta say, I wasn't expecting something this good. (Probobly because I'm a picky reader... Meh.)
There are some mistakes, of course, but nothing so big that I can whine about it. Or whine about decently, anyway. Please continue. (In case you haven't noticed, I can't spell. Sorry.) Bye!
This is just amazing. I've gotta say, I wasn't expecting something this good. (Probobly because I'm a picky reader... Meh.)
There are some mistakes, of course, but nothing so big that I can whine about it. Or whine about decently, anyway. Please continue. (In case you haven't noticed, I can't spell. Sorry.) Bye!
3/18/2011 c1 10Raebie
This is definitely an interesting beginning.
I love the last line of the "little article alongside it": Oh wait, never mind. They died too.~ Funny little addition.
~I look pretty darn good for a zombie~ I love this too. You do a good job of adding humor to the story.
The premise of this story is good. The idea of monster/demon hunters has been done, but never quite like this. It's definitely a new twist, and very well done.
I'll read more as I have time. I'm looking forward to it.
Sincerely,
Ella
10RaebieThis is definitely an interesting beginning.
I love the last line of the "little article alongside it": Oh wait, never mind. They died too.~ Funny little addition.
~I look pretty darn good for a zombie~ I love this too. You do a good job of adding humor to the story.
The premise of this story is good. The idea of monster/demon hunters has been done, but never quite like this. It's definitely a new twist, and very well done.
I'll read more as I have time. I'm looking forward to it.
Sincerely,
Ella
3/14/2011 c3 Blondiej1
Why thank you this gave me a nice repreive on my birthday from all the work I've been doing. Great chapter and I really can't wait for it to progress and evolve in to an even better story (seeing as it's good already) Loved the chapter.
Until Next Time,
Sarah
A.K.A. Blondiej1
Why thank you this gave me a nice repreive on my birthday from all the work I've been doing. Great chapter and I really can't wait for it to progress and evolve in to an even better story (seeing as it's good already) Loved the chapter.
Until Next Time,
Sarah
A.K.A. Blondiej1
3/6/2011 c2 6Lillian Dooley
I love this new story! The idea is great, and the execution is better than expected. Well done.
I apologize if there isn't as much advice. It's early morning and I don't feel well.
I am still kind of confused as to what happened with the "angel". I get that he was healed, but I'm still curious and want a slightly more descriptive explanation.
I still have my doubts about Asher. If you intend to have the readers completely convinced he's an angel, you have to mean it. Of course, I am never sure of someone else's inentions, so I apologize if that isn't it.
I'm not sure what else I can say. It's all very good.
Well, I'll go before I find fault in a place that's perfect. Thanks for the good read!
Lily Dooley
6Lillian DooleyI love this new story! The idea is great, and the execution is better than expected. Well done.
I apologize if there isn't as much advice. It's early morning and I don't feel well.
I am still kind of confused as to what happened with the "angel". I get that he was healed, but I'm still curious and want a slightly more descriptive explanation.
I still have my doubts about Asher. If you intend to have the readers completely convinced he's an angel, you have to mean it. Of course, I am never sure of someone else's inentions, so I apologize if that isn't it.
I'm not sure what else I can say. It's all very good.
Well, I'll go before I find fault in a place that's perfect. Thanks for the good read!
Lily Dooley
3/5/2011 c2 Blondiej1
I must say that for a rough draft it's one hell of a good rough draft. I am really excited for the next chapter so I know there aren't that many reviews yet but for those of us who are reading right now, we're ready for it to continue.
Until Next Time,
Sarah
A.K.A. Sarah
P.S. You are a great writer and I just thought I'd let you know in case you ever doubt yourself, it's always nice to see it in writing by someone you don't know, or at least a relative stranger. (aka me) :-D
I must say that for a rough draft it's one hell of a good rough draft. I am really excited for the next chapter so I know there aren't that many reviews yet but for those of us who are reading right now, we're ready for it to continue.
Until Next Time,
Sarah
A.K.A. Sarah
P.S. You are a great writer and I just thought I'd let you know in case you ever doubt yourself, it's always nice to see it in writing by someone you don't know, or at least a relative stranger. (aka me) :-D
3/5/2011 c1 Blondiej1
Interesting beginning, sounds like the making of a good story, I'm gonna keep this short to go read the next chapter, I'll review again!
Till Next Time,
Sarah
A.K.A. Blondiej1
Interesting beginning, sounds like the making of a good story, I'm gonna keep this short to go read the next chapter, I'll review again!
Till Next Time,
Sarah
A.K.A. Blondiej1
2/24/2011 c1 Lillian Dooley
First off, I must say that is an excellent name for your main character. It's not my REAL name, but considering it's a name of mine, I love it.
This is an excellent story, but your prologue could use some work.
She was survived by her twin sister and her parents. Oh wait, never mind. They died too.
I get what you are trying to say right there, but I don't think it's coming out right.
Her parents and her twin sister fortunately survived. Oh wait. Nevermind. They died as well.
That might work a little bit better. It was just weirdly worded.
In a place or two, you use a comma where it's supposed to be a semicolon, so just watch for that.
Also, in the prologue, you tell. It's fine, but you are addressing the reader. 'tis a bit strange. If used properly, it's effective, like in your first paragraph and last two. In the middle, you get "tell-y" a lot.
The first chapter is excellent, though. You seem to write action scenes very well. Some of it, of course, could use a few edits. As all stories do. Also, you say "..., Chris." a lot. I don't know if it's on purpose, but I just noticed it.
I'm actually having to go through the story finding mistakes that need to be fixed. Wow. This is pretty good.
Keep it up!
Lily Dooley
First off, I must say that is an excellent name for your main character. It's not my REAL name, but considering it's a name of mine, I love it.
This is an excellent story, but your prologue could use some work.
She was survived by her twin sister and her parents. Oh wait, never mind. They died too.
I get what you are trying to say right there, but I don't think it's coming out right.
Her parents and her twin sister fortunately survived. Oh wait. Nevermind. They died as well.
That might work a little bit better. It was just weirdly worded.
In a place or two, you use a comma where it's supposed to be a semicolon, so just watch for that.
Also, in the prologue, you tell. It's fine, but you are addressing the reader. 'tis a bit strange. If used properly, it's effective, like in your first paragraph and last two. In the middle, you get "tell-y" a lot.
The first chapter is excellent, though. You seem to write action scenes very well. Some of it, of course, could use a few edits. As all stories do. Also, you say "..., Chris." a lot. I don't know if it's on purpose, but I just noticed it.
I'm actually having to go through the story finding mistakes that need to be fixed. Wow. This is pretty good.
Keep it up!
Lily Dooley